God's Faithfulness

Driving on Sunday with my son and husband, something hit me like a pie in the face...

I suddenly said to them, "Isn't it amazing how God brings you through things?"

They were stumped because they don't read my mind and they didn't know which "things" I was referring to, however, they were kind to stay with me in this conversation.

My things are different from your things, although, often we have circles of things that intersect and we can have an understanding of how each other are feeling. (Lost yet?)

For years, and I do mean years, I've lived in a situation of survival. Does that mean I haven't been happy? No, absolutely not. However, we have had difficulties that have plagued us and caused great stress and sometimes even fear.

Now, understand that I know how ever difficult your situation is, you can always find someone in a worse condition...so don't take this as complaining. This is just the reality of my life.

Years ago my husband fell and tore his back requiring major back surgery and loss of job. This begat other unfortunate job situations which begat financial difficulties which begat stress in the marriage which begat lots of fear and resentment and unhappiness. However, through it all, often we would come back together at some point and say, "God is in charge, and I still love you."

We managed to continue serving and trusting, even though our hearts sometimes wanted to run and escape whatever pain we were enduring at the time. Fortunately, we have two amazing kids that took our attention off our own fear and stress and helped us continue to see what really mattered. (Bored yet?)

Then, there came the dropping off of a child 1400 miles away from us. Coming home, I stopped in Gallup, New Mexico. I had a "falling apart" like I've never experienced before. I came unhinged. I prayed for hours asking God to take away the pain and sadness. I begged that He would intervene and "heal" my heart of the breakage. I totally submitted every bit of myself as I cried and begged and cried more. I just knew I would never be o.k. again. I felt like I was never going to function on a "normal" pace again. For me, this was the straw that broke years of hay. He let me feel that way all night and into the next day.

I finally arrived home so glad to see my son and husband. Things seemed better.

I spent a few days "holed up" in my house. I didn't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. I didn't want to have a Christmas Musical this year or celebrate a birthday. I didn't want to be employed any longer and couldn't imagine having to put another worship order together...ever!

Eventually, slowly, my head cleared...

And, driving to a store with my boys, I realized that God had not only brought us through years of difficulties, but had made us better, stronger, wiser.

I don't know how it happened, or when, exactly, but I do know that my husband is working for a wonderful company that promises his employment until he decides he's ready to retire. And when he's finished, he'll actually have a retirement to retire with!

I know that as difficult as the last few years have been, my love and respect for the man I fell in love with 19 years ago is stronger than ever.

I know that my children are healthy, and faithful and Godly.

I know that I found a beautiful Christmas Musical for this year, and, Sunday I will gladly celebrate my 44th Birthday!

But above it all, I know that I'm different. I know that God has not taken me further than what I could bear, and I know that He has been faithful to not only carry me/us through, but make us better in the process.

I know that when someone else is in a dark hole, I can sit and cry and pray with them, but in full confidence say to them:

"There is hope...God is faithful.

This is the first day of school for Ashley. It's the first time I haven't been there to hug, kiss, take the first day of school picture, and yes, cry.

I cry every first day of school. It's not a sad cry...it's an "I can't believe where the time is going" cry.

This year was different.

Last week was Avery's first day of school and I was in Texas...so my sweet Mom came over and took his picture in the right spot of the yard (it's fun to take it in the same spot every year. You see the vegetation and the child grow!). So, I've not seen it yet, but I know I have a first day of school picture for Avery.

Avery called me on his first day of school, so I was able to love on him over the phone. (between sobs...I had just left his sister!)

It is now 7:00 am our time and Ashley has already had one class. So, first day of school has officially started for her, too.

Mike Cope talks about the hands that grip the kids, how little by little fingers are pried off until finally, there is very little holding on to them. I didn't like that part of his message last Sunday, but I understood it.

I feel the grip loosen and the fingers one by one open.

I guess if you've done your job, and if God is merciful, you're able to let go on your own without anyone having to drag you or pry your fingers loose.

Parents, enjoy it all. I'm even enjoying this. There's always laughter after the sadness.

Driving home last week, I had a particularly bad, sad, horrible night in Gallup, New Mexico. I called my boys at home and cried and cried and cried.

Avery finally got on the phone after Lex couldn't do anything with me and said, "Mom, come home. We're waitin' for you. We're right here waitin'. And besides, Dad and I have run out of things we know how to cook!"

Laughter...thanks Avery. I'm glad I'm still needed.

Blessings!

Happy girl...

"May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen"

THE NEW NORMAL

I woke up today in Fresno.

Drove for two days away from Abilene and toward home.

It's the strangest feeling I've ever had...dropping off your child and driving away...and driving, and driving, and driving. Every bone in my body kept saying "go back...go back", but my brain knew I was doing the right thing.

Abilene is a wonderful place. It's a beautiful school with amazing people teaching and leading the kids/students. I had constant assurance from people I trust with...well...my child's life, that she will do wonderful and if there's ever a problem, they will be there for her. Thank you, God.

So, today, I am faced with the "new normal". Life changes, doesn't it? The old normal has been two children in my home. I liked that. In fact, my favorite part of any day was the early morning or late night when everybody was inside, safe, asleep. I'd walk to her room and then his and just look at them. I'd usually spend time in prayer for each one while looking at them sleep. Come on, you guys, admit it...you look at your kids sleeping, don't you?

But, this morning, I saw him and an empty room.

This is the beginning of the new normal for our home. Can't say it's my favorite time, but I am confident it is what is supposed to happen. Whether I like it or not.

By the way, Ashley is doing wonderful. She's already made great friends and is having a blast at "welcome week". She has Mike Cope for her Freshman Bible class...what more could you want! Classes begin next Monday. But for this week, they are having a wonderful time mixing and playing and getting to know each other.

I asked her last night if she had experienced any homesick moments. She paused for quite a while and then finally started giggling and said, "No...I'm sorry, Mom."

I assured her that I was comforted by the fact that she hadn't been homesick. It helps me know she's doing exactly what she's supposed to do!

Now, I'm going to go and get used to my new normal.
Blessings.

I'm in Abilene...

Spent the day setting my daughter in her dorm.

It looks wonderful, it feels wonderful, it is wonderful.

Last night, she spent the night with me in the hotel, and I'm not ashamed to say, I was really happy to hear she would stay again tonight with me.

It's hard to pray without tears...but, the prayers are necessary.

We'll go to Highland Church tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to hearing Mike Cope speak.

I leave Tuesday night, probably...

I'm not looking forward to driving away...

Keep praying.

My brain is mush...

Glad to be home but loved loved loved the coast. If I ever strike it rich, I'll buy a home there and you all can come visit me any time!

Hope this finds you all well and happy and healthy. I didn't look at my email or blog one time all week, so this is slow going getting back in the swing of things.

There seems to be a lot to pray about these days...

church
staff
changes
family
children
marriages in trouble
people in trouble
death
new life

It's so good to belong to God. To be able to look to Him and hand over the struggles we face...whether for ourselves or those we love.

I'll post some pictures when my genius son puts them in a place I can reach. ("pictures for dummies" for his Mom...) I can take them, I just don't know what to do with them after that!

Blessings!

This is it...last night for V.B.S.

I'd be telling an un-truth if I said I was sad to see it end. I'm exhausted. My whole family is completely exhausted. We are sooooooo looking forward to Pismo next week. We are blessed to be able to end a busy 2 weeks with something as wonderful as a vacation at the coast.

However, I would do it all again. It's been extremely rewarding for many reasons.

First and foremost is the children you see touched by all the effort. One 4 year old was leaving with his Daddy and said, "I'm glad this church loves children so much!" Can you believe that? This little one equated the effort by grown ups as love for him and his buddies. That is amazing to me.

Second, we've had kids come in from the neighborhood and one Mom even ask me if they could start coming on a regular basis. That's good stuff...

And finally, I've watched my daughter, writer of all the V.B.S. scripts, handle a tough situation as one who is in charge. She gathered a wonderful cast of characters and has written funny, thoughtful, enjoyable scripts delivered with the message each night of finding your gift. God gave each of us a gift, it's just up to us to find it and use it. She has crafted wonderful times that the children have enjoyed with jubilation! She's even had to handle cranky and not-so-pleasant adults by being involved in the thick of things. She made me very proud.

So, it's been wonderful, but thankfully tonight is it!

I don't typically like to share these things, but, if you all wouldn't mind praying for me I would appreciate it. I'm not overly healthy and tomorrow starts some tests trying to figure it all out. If they find something they don't like, I don't get to go to Pismo. That would be tragic! I tried to put off the test until after we come back, but couldn't talk them into it. I have another test after we get back, so whoopie! (I hate going to the Dr.!)

Anyway, as much as I want them to find something so they can fix it, I am hoping it's not more than what will allow me to go to the beach for a week.

Thanks for the prayers.
blessings...

It's V.B.S. Prep week. It's the week that is actually longer and harder than the V.B.S. week itself.

Many folks have been working 10-12 hour days to pull this vision together.

It amazes me to see the dedication of these people because of their love for the children of this community and church.

What a Blessing!

In case you haven't figured it out already, it's a carnival theme this year. Roller coasters, merry-go-rounds, carni-games, Ferris wheels...and that's just in the auditorium! The idea is that this old run-down carnival with cob-webs and tumble weeds is purchased by an old gentleman who remembers it fondly and loves it dearly. Through work, sweat, and toil, the cast of characters will not only transform this old run-down place into a thriving exciting wonderful carnival, but find their own personal gifts and talents in the process!

I'm looking forward to seeing the process...watching the kids as they begin to "get it". But the most amazing thing to me about V.B.S. is watching the adults. There are people who rarely find a spot to work in any other time of year...but during V.B.S., they find their gift. There are those who reluctantly agree to be "actors" in the skits and end up being super-stars to the children. There are people who sit with the children watching, but taking it into their heart, also. There are neighborhood people who bring their children for the first time, and now, a year later are still coming because of the love they found in this place. There are people who get to work together and realize they have much in common but never knew it because they normally sit on opposite sides of the auditorium during the Sunday assembly time...

It's tiring, it's wonderful, it's exhausting, it's spirit-filled, it's all consuming, it's eternal!

Pray for our workers...pray for the children who will come next Monday - Thursday.

This week has been a whirlwind of emotion. Great pride, joy and sorrow all mixed up together. Ashley's school puts on a musical at the end of the year right before graduation. Last week was the show. It was a long exhausting week, but one that I'm sure the kids feel good about.

Last night was graduation. I was stable and calm. It was amazing to watch that little girl all grown up marching in with her class...Graduating. Little tears, but considering who I am, I was rather proud of the composure I maintained.

We went with family after graduation and celebrated with dinner and then it was off to Sober Grad night. It's a wonderful time for the kids. It's safe and fun and a time to just relax and be grateful you made it through! This year the kids went to a mini amusement park in Fresno. Water slides, miniature golf, food, D.J., Racing cars...they had a blast. Signing year books, hugging, laughing, just good fun being together. This is a very small class compared to other high schools. About 65 kids. So they are a tight knit group.

Lex, being the amazing father that he is, chaperoned the evening/night. He's had about 2 hours sleep as we speak and will head out after church to work for the afternoon.

But, I think one of my proudest moments was watching her brother take care of her in so many ways this week. Avery was in the midst of it all, helping with tech difficulties during the show, hanging out with people that came to the house, (a teen-age form of hospitality), fixing his sister's broken shoe needed for graduation night, and countless other moments of sweet sibling love. I am so proud of both my kids. They are good people. I could disappear (not that I have any plans of that!) and they would continue to be solid, Godly, amazing people. I really feel like my work on them is finished. God has always shown me what should be done and when...and for now, I can let go.

What a blessing...how very sad...

Last night I had the pleasure of attending my daughter's Baccalaureate Service. Next Saturday is Graduation.

I say that all very matter-of-factly, however, I'm a mess.

I made the mistake today of "Map Quest-ing" from my house to ACU. 1411.63 miles.

Did you really read that? Over fourteen hundred miles away from me my baby will be! What are we thinking?! I'm a mess.

O.K. Many of you have experienced this already. You're probably thinking..."you're not the first one to send your child off to College. Parents have been doing it for years."

I know. But I'm still a mess.

Last night at the service, the guest speaker said that sociologists have actually named my generation of parents...it's called the "helicopter generation". Have you heard this before? We are called this because of our "hovering" capabilities with our children. We are involved in every aspect of their lives...hovering at all times in case they need us.

We laughed, but we all knew with few exceptions, he was correct. It's going to be very difficult to hover 1400 miles away. I'm a mess.

What I know without a doubt is that in spite of my achy-breaky heart, she is doing exactly what she is supposed to do.

I know that God has His hand on her, and I know He's leading her to be what He wants and needs her to be.

I know that our kids are a gift...a blessing. I know that if we are doing our job correctly, they will eventually leave us to fly their own path with their own wings.

I know all this...and in the course of the next couple of months, I'll probably write more about this as we prepare to take her to her next stop in life.

But for now...for today, I'm a mess!

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance if fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." James 1:2-4

We are beginning our new pulpit series this week. It's always difficult for me to get into another series. I typically (with some exceptions) love the series we are in and find it difficult to change gears and embrace a new one. However, I began reading James and decided it was going to be a good thing not only for this church, but for me personally.

I'm looking forward to what God is planning to do during the next 13 weeks. We have the privilege of not only our regular rotation of speakers, but the addition of Brady Smith in August. What a treat!

So, my question of the day is: All you preachers/scholars/students of the Word, give me your favorite thing/things about the book of James. What comes to mind when you think of a study of that book?

Happy Wednesday!

Family, Bar-B-Que, Sleeping In, Pool Tournament in Mom's Patio, Home Made Vanilla Ice Cream, Warm and gooey Chocolate Chip Cookies, Reading...

It is a beautiful day. The weather isn't cold or hot...it's juuuuust right! The perfect day for spending time with family and having fun.

I hope today you all get to do things you love to do with people you love to do them with.

Remember, though, to take time to remember.

Have a beautiful Memorial Day...

I had the pleasure, Saturday, of spending most of the day with my nephew, James.

It really was a special day, because, you see, even though I see him often, it is always with other people around.

James and I rarely get the chance to have a one-on-one day. In fact, I don't remember a time before that I had him without others with me.

His Dad brought him over and we had 1/2 a donut and watched a few minutes of some cartoons, which he had to explain to me. (Not exactly the same stuff on that my kids used to watch.)

Avery woke up about an hour earlier than necessary (he usually sleeps until the absolute final moment that allows him just enough time to get ready for school, work, church, etc...) so he could hang out with James for a few minutes before he went to work.


They blew bubbles, hosed off the sidewalk, and drove the remote control car. Very fun.

We took Avery to work, and then headed to Taco Bell. We ate and then headed home to get ready for the T-Ball game. Sunscreen, two shirts (James' request), a hat, our glove, our inhaler in case we stop breathing (!?), and we're off!

T-ball was...well...just plain funny.

Then we headed to pick up our cousin, Ashley, who had been at work all morning making coffee for people. James was excited to get to see Ashley because she makes him a drink with milk and bananas and chocalate and ice all blended up. He loves it!

Back to the house where it was nap time! Whew!

Throughout this day, I decided to teach James a scripture...so, I did what any self respecting Aunt would do. I told him that if he learned a memory verse while he was with me, I would take him to Target to get a Hot Wheels of his choice.

He worked all day on it...little by little...laughing, getting frustrated, being silly, working hard.

Finally, he said,
"John 3:16...God loves the world soooooo much, he gave us his only Son!...John 3:16"

Very cool.

I learned a few things Saturday...or maybe I was just reminded again. It's been a while since I was in charge of a 5 year old boy.

I learned that if you both get Nachos at Taco Bell, you can double dip your chips into the stuff they call cheese, because you have your own. But if you share a Nachos, you're not supposed to "double dip."

I learned that "Mommy lets me get Pepsi, but only once. After that's gone, I have to fill my cup with water."

I remembered that finding sticks and rocks in the parking lot is equal to buried treasure.

I remembered that spilling the bubbles and hosing them off is more fun than actually blowing through the little lame plastic circle stick they give you.

I remembered that you can sit, crouched in "catchers position" and watch a slug for minutes...I mean minutes, and never move.

I remembered that to look a child in the eye and tell them how very much you love them never gets old. And to hear it back is magical...

I remembered what it's like to be silly and make a child laugh a big deep down belly laugh.

And, I remembered how very precious it is to hear scripture from the lips of a child.

It was a very good day.

Scripture

I love so many things about scripture...

I love the fact that the more I read and study, the less I know.

I love the idea that it is an eternal well that never runs dry...always there to quench my thirsty soul...to speak to me in a new and different way than the time before.

I love the excitement of the Old Testament. The God who actually spoke to people. What would that have been like? How exciting is that!?

I love the weaving of my Savior all through the Old Testament until, finally, we get to meet him face to face in the New Testament.

I love reading about people dedicated to their God and to Jesus Christ. People who would give their life before they would ever turn their back on what they believed to be true.

All these things I love, and many more.

But I think the most amazing thing to me is the way those ancient words relate to me...today...in 2006.

And today, their are two verses that I am basking in...

Psalm 71:5
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I've trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.

Psalm 16:1
Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge.

What a blessing, in these days of change and uncertainty to have this to rest on.
God is my refuge...my hope. He is my net when I'm on the high wire.
He receives my full trust, because, just as in scripture, He has never, ever failed me.

And...bloggers, He will never fail you...ever.

It's test time...
Finals week for Ashley.

It's her last time in High School to experience the long hours of test week...but we all know, College is just around the corner!

There are things about being young that I miss. There are moments when I think, "enjoy this...these are good times".

But testing, nope...don't miss that at all.

Their school follows the Fresno State University schedule which actually gives them 10 days less of class instruction than the other high schools in town. That is difficult for the teachers as well as the students.

She is allowed to take Fresno State classes, along with her regular high school classes, so this semester she has a University Geology class and German class as well. ( my Mom said "she's too pretty to speak German. She should pick another language." Those Grandma's...they're priceless.)

After Finals week, they go into "electives" which basically means she is through with class work and now rehearses and works for 2 weeks to put on a really good show. It's a fun time for the kids after such a difficult study schedule.

But for now, we are in Finals Week. It's difficult for me to stand by and watch her work and study so hard with so little sleep! I want desperately to help, but can't.

I guess the best I can do is sharpen those #2 pencils and pray!

It's Monday!

Tell me what Monday means to you.
Is it a welcome day after a long hectic weekend?
Is it a time to rest?
Is it a jump back on to the 'ole hamster wheel?

I've said this before, but I used to despise Monday.
I didn't hate school, but would have rather been home.
So, Sunday night, I would feel the anxiety of Monday.
It would actually ruin my Sunday night because Monday was so close around the corner.

I love Monday's.

I love the fact that nothing is due or pressing for me.

I love the fact that I have flexibility on my job, so if the laundry is piled up after a long weekend, or dishes are in the sink, I can take some extra time at home and finish up my duties there.

I love coming into the office and cleaning the coffee pot from the day before.

I love thinking about the time spent just 24 hours earlier in that room praying, laughing, singing, worshiping together before heading out to the auditorium.

I bask in the goodness of God as I think about the day before, as He always, and I do mean always, shows Himself somehow in a way I didn't expect on Sunday.

So, Monday? Bring it on.
For me, it's a great day.

Blessings

Ana One, Ana Two...

Ashley handed me a tiny article cut from the newspaper...I unfolded it and she said,
"Wanna go...?"

It was the Lawrence Welk Mother's Day tour coming through Fresno.

Laugh if you want...I'll give you a minute.

But yesterday, Ashley and Grandma (my Mom), and I all enjoyed a wonderful lunch together and then headed down town to see a Lawrence Welk show.

When I was a little girl, my Saturday night consisted of sitting in the floor while my Mom combed out my freshly washed hair and curled it in rag curls for Sunday morning.

My Dad was in his recliner, Mom in her chair, and I was at her feet watching Lawrence Welk. (and Hee Haw!) Every Saturday night.

So, for me, Lawrence Welk became a part of who I was. It provided safety, security, and consistency because that's how I felt in that room with my parents...every Saturday night.

When my daughter was little, she would sit at my feet as we watched Lawrence Welk re-runs on PBS on Saturday night. Or, if we had already curled the hair, we would just sit together and watch.

Beautiful girls, Handsome men, sparkling dresses, lovely voices, and the bubbles. We loved it.

So, when Ashley asked me to go and bring Grandma, how could I resist such an invitation?

When the curtain opened and the band played and the singers began singing, I cried.
When Joe Feeney (beautiful Irish tenor) sang Oh, Danny Boy, I cried.
When they began the closing song, "Good night, sleep tight, and pleasant dreams to you..." I cried.

It wasn't just about the Lawrence Welk Show, it was about a childhood, and now me, a mother and a daughter sitting between my mother and daughter.

So laugh if you want...make fun...I can take it.

It was a blast!

Last night, I had the pleasure of knowing everybody was home and in their own "place" in our house. It's so good to have Avery and Lex home. Lex had a great time at Pepperdine and Avery had a very successful rocket launch and journey home.

I will post more later regarding the launch, but for now...

Yesterday morning we were in the middle of our rehearsal time. Singing through the music we would soon be sharing with the church. One of our praise team members stopped us and shared her heart and a scripture....

We were singing "Be Unto Your Name". (From ZOE Heart of Worship CD)

She said she couldn't sing it without thinking about Revelation and then proceeded to read to us what was on her heart.

"...Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty --
the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come." (4:8)

"You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power..."(4:11)

The scripture was beautiful. We love that song and have sung it many times, but yesterday, I saw it differently. Fresh, full of the Spirit. We knew it was from scripture, but to be stopped and have our attention brought back to it was a wonderful experience amidst the "rehearsal" time.

So today as I reflect on those few minutes, I'm very grateful for people who give their hearts in service to God. People who do what they do not for the glory or attention of it, (which can be a down fall to some Worship Teams and/or Leaders), but simply because they are in love with their Savior and in awe of their God and want to share that with others.

Blessings...

I took yesterday off and enjoyed doing...absolutely...nothing!

Don't tell my husband. He's working hard in Malibu, bless his heart!

Lex comes home today but informed me last night he's headed straight to the "shop" because they have their first "Friday Night Event" of the summer. He feels he needs to be there, so once again, I lose to the motorcycles.

Avery is having a very good time in Huntsville. He had lunch yesterday with the pilot of the next Space Shuttle. wow...I really wouldn't even know how to converse with the guy. They launch tomorrow, so when you get a chance, maybe you could pray for safety and success for the team.

Ashley has had two AP tests and a college level Geology Final this week. Whew! What a week for her! She's quite a girl.

I've done a couple of things I've never done before. Emptied the garbage from the house, took the cans to the street for pick-up, lost the dog in the process (I'm an amateur), and then brought the cans back up the next day. It was amazing as I was doing it that I realized I had never had to do it before. Never. At least now we know I can! (The dog came back as soon as he finished his little journey around the block.)

It's been very clear to me recently how very blessed we all are to have relationship with each other through the Father. It amazes me to think about dropping my daughter off in another state and have full assurance and peace that she will not only be just fine, but really have a chance to grow and become something wonderful for the Kingdom of God. Not just because of her efforts, but because of all the people who already know and love her and are willing to help develop and support her. Not to mention the ones she's yet to meet.

It's been wonderful for Lex to be at Pepperdine and have time with the "guys". He doesn't get a chance to do stuff like that at home. But what a blessing to have a group of people he can call on if he needed somebody to pray with him and/or for him. Through blogging, through Pepperdine, through ZOE, through church...what an enormous blessing it is to be connected.

Blessings to you all in Pepperdine as you finish up your week and get ready to travel home. I hope you're filled up and overflowing!

Blessings to those of you who are traveling home from other places. (NASA and Georgia in particular)

Blessings to those of you who stayed home this week and just kept doing what you do in beautiful service to your family and God.

Had an Elder walk by me last night at church and say with a little twinkle in his eye, "read your blog today".

Great. The one time I let a little frustration out regarding a church process and result, he reads my blog. The only thing I could think to say was, "at least I didn't say anything about the Elders, right?"

Had another person stop me last night and tell me they were going to shake down their second grade class last night to raise money for my salary...that way the church could pay for me as well as that Saturday advertising! Funny people.

I'm glad we can have a sense of humor about some things. So far, the class has raised $3.50. It looks like I'm getting a raise! (couldn't resist...sorry, Elder, if you chose to read again.)

On a lighter note, here are some pics from recent happenings...
Ashley with her very good friend and horn partner, Chris, at their final concert. This boy is a precious part of our family.

The Quartet at their final vocal concert

Ashley with Daddy before Prom.
Ashley with friends before Prom. Beautiful girls.

Thanks for stopping by!

Because there are so many things to blog about, so many things happening in the Henderson household, as well as the church household, I have hesitated blogging at all!

Here in a nutshell is what is going on:

*Ashley had her last concerts Monday, Thursday, and Friday of last week. I've been attending school concerts for many years, and last week, I watched kids whom I have been watching since Elementary school give their final performances for the parents. They were wonderful. And, yes, a few tears fell. (and not just mine, by the way!)

*Ashley turned down the Pepperdine Scholarship and Admission and decided to attend Abilene Christian University. As much as I would have loved to have her within arms reach in Malibu, I think, for her heart and future, she made a very wise decision. So, amidst final concerts, and Finals, and AP testing, and graduation thoughts, she's made a very prayerful and good decision regarding her future. I've very proud of her.

*Lex leaves today to work for ZOE at Pepperdine. He's never gone without me. I will miss him, but know he's doing something God has gifted him to do. I've said it before...there isn't a better sound guy with a heart for worship than Lex. He's a treasure.

*Avery leaves tomorrow for Alabama for the Launch with NASA. He and his team have been working overtime on the final preparations for their rocket. He's put some special things in this year that he's anxious (maybe a little stressed) to see if it produces the kind of launch he's hoping for. To say I'm proud of him is an understatement. He's quite intelligent...and very sweet.

*Our church just finished a process of communication that was, at best, interesting. There was a Steering Committee appointed to "poll" the church on different issues. Can you say "can of worms?" Anyway, a 50 page report came out Sunday with suggestions from the congregation regarding anything you could think of. Although there were some very thoughtful and enlightening responses, (very few), my favorite was to let the Worship Minister go (that would be me) because it's an unnecessary expense and use that money to take out a full page ad in the Saturday religion section of the paper inviting people to come to our church. My salary should cover the advertising costs.

Although some of the remarks hurt a bit, for the most part, I found the whole process and result amusing. It's a sign of growth for me. In the past I would have been devastated to think somebody didn't like me. That's o.k. God has a purpose for me and for now, it involves serving at the College Church. When that's over, He'll let me know. Don't let my comments steer you toward thinking it was only a negative report, there were many sweet and positive comments made regarding many things, I just found amusement with some of the other suggestions.

Hhmmm...seems like there's more, but for now, I can't think beyond what I've told you...so, enjoy your day bloggers...particularly those of you enjoying the sun and fellowship and rich teaching in Malibu!

We now cannot even walk on the side walk because the "stick" has climbed and grown so much it has covered the corner of our house. We have to walk around it on the grass to get to the front door.

Walking in from church Sunday, Ashley said, "Mom, the stick is attacking me...time to cut the stick!"

I'll prune it back after it quits blooming, which, by the way it is still doing. You just can't see it as well because the leaves are so huge and numerous it's covering up the blooms.

I love the season of pruning. I love pruning back my roses for the winter...cutting them way back until they almost look unable to achieve a flower in the future. I will love cutting back this vine because I know it will make it grow even more beautiful next year.

John 15:1-4
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned for greater fruitfulness by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful apart from me."

As much as I love pruning in my yard, I never like the idea of being pruned myself. It's usually uncomfortable, rarely pleasant, often painful. But it's necessary. I know we are a work in progress. Constantly growing, producing fruit, being pruned, and so on and so on.

I want to be fruitful. I want my life to leave evidence of Jesus Christ along the way. The only way to be productive is to accept my pruning.

Ouch...but thank you.

There is a song that comes on the Christian radio station...it's kind of sappy, maybe, but the sentiment for me is bulls-eye, on the money, exactly what I'm feeling at this time.

It talks about holding this child for a short while, and then moves on to say that I hope my love gives them roots and helps them find their wings. It destroys me every time I hear it.

So, tonight, I'm driving to the home of a friend of my daughter, where she and about 20 other kids are all getting ready for their Senior Prom. The kids wanted to be together as long as possible and since getting ready is half the fun, they wanted to share that, too.

I'm already a bit of a mess...my daughter is going to her Senior Prom...that's awful close to graduation which is horribly close to college which is devastatingly close to not living in my house any longer. I can't tell you the lump in my throat as I'm driving to this beautiful home in a wealthy gated community.

As I'm driving, this song comes on..."listen to this" I tell Lex. So, thinking I've heard it enough times that it won't mess with me again, I turn it up. Foolish move.

As I'm wiping the tears away, I turn on the street that will lead me through the gate to their home...there is the limo in front of me that the parents of the big home in the gated community rented for the kids. I'm a mess...

Fortunately, the limo driver doesn't know the gate code, so I have to unbelt my self and get out and walk over and punch in the code so he can get in. All this helps me quit crying...

Until I pull through the gate and see this amazing group of young adults...many of whom I've known and loved since elementary school, one in particular that I've adored since the moment I knew she was...

Again, I'm a mess.

What a tremendous blessing to have been part of something so creative, so difficult, so beautiful as the raising of children.

Of all the blessings in my life, this one is overwhelming.

So, I will post pictures later, but let me say that as the tears stream down I am so grateful to be a Mom...

Blessings.

The images you see here are in front of my home. I have a vine that grows up and over my garage. This vine is about 4 years old, I think.

I was at a local hardware store one day, (pause for confusion about me in a hardware store) and saw this stick. Attached to the stick was a picture of what this stick would become, if all went as planned.

I loved the picture, so I purchased the stick, the pot, and some dirt.

My family made fun of me every time we pulled in our out of the garage.

"Nice stick, Mom"

"Just wait, things are happening...it's growing roots and the stick is growing...I can see it." I would tell them that it was going to grow into something beautiful and then they'd all owe me an apology for doubting. My sweet husband would pat me and look away as he chuckled at my delusional thoughts.

Time passed, nothing happened...and then one day, there was a green bud. and then another, and another. Suddenly it started growing tall and eventually, we installed the lattice over the door so it would have a place to climb.

Last year, it popped out a couple of flowers, and oh how I was excited!

But this year, goodness, it is beautiful. I can't walk in or out of the house without staring in wonder at what it was (even I had my doubts, but nobody knew), compared to what it is.

You all are smart enough to see where this is going...

Attached to all of us is a picture that our Heavenly Father sees clearly. It's of this beautiful creature...growing, flowering, producing, inspiring. Sometimes, the world sees a stick. And, in truth, don't we sometimes look at people and think, "Nice stick." ? We don't always believe in the power of God's transforming love.

What starts out as a stick to be made fun of may turn into the glory of the neighborhood! (or heaven!)

Let's rely, for the sake of our own hearts, on the amazing grace and love that was purchased so we might not remain a stick.

Blessings!

Ever wonder how anything good gets done while trying to do so many things at once? We've high-teched ourselves into multi-tasking robots as we try to see who can accomplish the most in the least amount of time so we'll have time for....what, exactly?

I was hit in the face with this as I sat at my desk this morning. All music and three different translations of scripture lay out before me as I organize an Easter service. If you know me, you know I'm not a big holiday lover when it comes to our assembly time on Sunday morning. I put as much into the other 50 Sundays of the year as I do Easter and Christmas.

But, as most of you know, there are visitors to consider in larger number and there's always the hope that this particular service will touch an untouched part of their heart. That it will be this Sunday they see Jesus in a way that makes them want a personal relationship with Him on a daily basis...right?

Important? Absolutely.

Five different song books open, others laying behind me on the floor, two Bibles open, pencils sharpened and ready. I begin writing down possibilities, looking at scripture, putting down an order...

I decide to check my email. Something from Pepperdine saying they need a form that I've already FAXED to them twice. So, in the midst of all the planning, I call Pepperdine. I'm on the phone with them when my cell phone rings, I answer that and tell them to hold on just a second, I'll be right back with them. I'm chatting with Financial Aid when someone comes in my office and stands, waiting to say something...

As all this is happening, I'm still writing down song possibilities and putting together an order for Sunday.

I finished with Pepperdine, answered the question of the one standing in my office, and completed the cell conversation in record time.

Then I looked at what was before me.

I was a bit ashamed of myself. Not a beating of myself kind of shame, but just an honest..."I'm sorry other things take a slot before You" kind of feeling.

I don't have an answer to this problem. This isn't an occasional occurrence. I don't think it is with most Americans. Satan doesn't get us to sin, for the most part, by tempting us with holding up a bank, or murdering our friend, or stealing someone else's spouse.

He gets us in the business of life. He gets us with the busy multi-tasking way we think we're accomplishing so much, when usually, all we're doing is being distracted from the important things that matter in the long run.

We like to feel accomplished, productive, successful. By what standard are we measuring this? That's really the question.

Life is full of disappointments.

Our family shared one last night. I won't go into great detail out of respect for the inflicted party, but let me say that when your children hurt, you are devastated. I don't think I've felt quite the void and sadness for one of my kids ever the way I'm feeling it now.

Nothing that won't be fine eventually. But let me just say that the words you want to use in certain situations as a minister right now sound very lame...so through this I've learned that our pat answers like "when God closes a door, He opens a window" or "God is in control" or "You'll understand it better down the line"...lame, lame, lame.

Is our faith shaken? no. Are we angry at God? no. Do we know deep down all things work together for good for those that love Him? of course.

But last night, my baby had a broken hearted disappointment. So, I did what any self-respecting mother would do.

I went to the grocery store, found our drug of choice, sat on the bed and cried a little and said, "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. Now, grab a spoon and dive in."

I love the story of David's anointing. I love the fact that Samuel is told by God..."I'll let you know when you find the right person." Jesse brings out his boys and one by one God says - "Nope, Next!" And so it goes until Samuel finally says, "is this it? is there another one?"

Well, yes, but it's the little one, the youngest. You know Jesse was thinking there must have been a mistake. Surely you don't mean this young one.

I love the way what seemed obvious to man, wasn't to God. I mean, if there's a job to do, don't we pick the strong one of great stature? Don't we elect men we see as strong physical specimens? Don't we see the physical person first and sometimes don't recognize a strong heart underneath?

God said, "Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!" Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward. (I Samuel 16:12,13)

Let's work on being Genuine. Holy. Transparent. Let's move away from making sure man will be impressed with our shell and pray that God is pleased with our hearts.

Now that Steven's posted the pictures he wanted to post, www.intentionalwalk.blogspot.com), I'll show you a couple more.

Sweet, sweet, sweet.

Grandma Jeanie received some post-game love.

Avery always gets a hug from James. These two are buds.

Sunshine, baseball, family all around to watch you, and a daddy who stays with you the whole way. What more could Master James want?

It was a very good hour.

I didn't know the lady who passed away, but her grandchild and some extended family attend College. So, I was honored to go sing at her grave side.

I thought I'd been in every cemetery in the Valley, but this one had escaped me. It was a beautiful, small, country cemetery surrounded by acres and acres of undeveloped land. Something difficult to find around here.

As I listened to the letters and words from family and friends, I thought I would have loved this woman. According to her family, she was sophisticated, classy, cultured, talented, generous, and sweet. Somebody said "mostly sweet"...that was the word they used above all others to define her.

Her home was always open, she made her family feel special, she baked and cooked and sewed. She was a wonderful artist.

She was struck with Alzheimers about 6 years ago and was "very bad" for about the last 4. They didn't talk about that. They just talked about all the wonderful things she was to them in her healthy days.

They didn't talk about how much money they had, or how many things she owned, or how many expensive trips they had been on. They talked about relationship and the way she made them feel in her presence.

The interesting thing about this funeral was that only when somebody took me aside and shared some information with me did I know how incredibly wealthy this family is. It didn't come from the family...and you would never have known it by their conversation. That's not what mattered to them.

As I stood on top of that hill, looking around, I was told that as far as the eye could see in two directions was undeveloped land owned by this family. Goodness! It was overwhelming. But it didn't matter.

What mattered was that when they asked her to bake a coconut cream pie, she not only baked coconut, but also chocolate.

That when the granddaughter needed a special outfit for a function at school, her grandma made her the prettiest dress in the whole world that made her feel like a princess.

That when it came time to pay some hefty Dr. bills, their Grandpa sold off a sliver of land to cover the best care he could buy for the woman he would love forever.

That even when she no longer knew him, he went to visit her twice daily, and took ice cream for her every day.

Funerals are good for me.
Funerals remind me of the simple good that gets cluttered by the hectic pace of "life".

This one reminded me that relationship is a beautiful gift from God. Not only relationship with eachother, but with Him.

What kind of imprint do you make on the family and friends you are blessed with?

And what about the strangers you come in contact with?

Blessings.

Back to work today.

Sitting at my desk.

Very strange.

Time away was wonderful.

I cooked
Not only washed the laundry, but actually folded it and put it away.
Enjoyed being there when my kids came home from school.
Cooked some more.
Read
Slept
Enjoyed T.V.
Enjoyed quiet.
Cleaned one cupboard in the kitchen. (only because when I opened it, everything came crashing out and it just irritated me enough to clean it.)
Enjoyed staying up late on Saturday night.
Enjoyed having people over to eat on Wednesday night.

But today, I need to remember what it feels like to focus on work. Honestly, very hard to do.

O.K. I didn't work out, I didn't clean all the closets, and I didn't abstain from all things yummy, BUT, I did learn how to relax again. How to take the day as it comes instead of directing and controlling every issue. How to sit up late under blankets watching a movie on Saturday night with my family. (By the way, Chicken Little broke my heart. Anybody else feel that way about poor little misunderstood Chicken Little?) How to really enjoy being home. It was a good time for me.

My challenge will be to continue to enjoy (while working) the things I enjoyed while not working.

Blessings.

So...the boys went to Las Vegas for the WORLD MONSTER TRUCK FINALS.

Not just the State Finals, not even the National Finals, but the WORLD Finals. They had a blast.

This was Avery's 16th Birthday present...but he had to wait a long time to enjoy it. His birthday was in June and it's now March.


When I bought the tickets in June, the stadium was selling out fast. Can you believe that? They had great seats and had a particularly wonderful guys weekend.

Ashley and I had a wonderful time together doing girlie things. We went Prom Dress shopping, looked at jewelry, went to a yummy lunch, and rented Chicken Little. It was so good to have her all to myself. I realized, again, what a pleasure she is. She is very funny and fun to have around. We usually don't have a full day to spend together and I considered this weekend a real treat.

We went to church Sunday and led worship and then headed to a 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration. Isn't that amazing? 50 years.

The boys returned home last night and today was a regular Monday. Everybody back to their respective jobs/schools.

What a nice break, though. My family is a treasure...an absolute treasure.

By the way, Ashley received her acceptance letter to Pepperdine today. She called me screaming...very excited. Now all we have to do is find a way to pay for it!

Blessings.

Your comments have been interesting. It's a good exercise to simply stop and think about how we relate to the world.

This book has me reading pages over again because it's not in my typical language...but the process is good for me and what I'm learning is exciting.

I say that to say this: I know some of you may see this as simplistic. Maybe you've thought these thoughts months or years before and you're thinking, "Duh, we already knew that." But for me, this is where my brain is at the moment. So, hang in there with me.

There is basically a matrix which offers four general categories addressed in this book. They've chosen 5 people to speak on each quadrant. (one quadrant has two authors).

This matrix represents the church's response to cultural change on two axes, change in method/form/style and change in message/content/substance.

According to the book, churches fall into one of these categories:
1. Low Change in Method/Low Change in Message
2. High Change in Method/Low Change in Message
3. High Change in Message/Low Change in Method
4. High Change in Message/High Change in Method

Leonard Sweet goes on to say this:

This introductory essay anatomizes the complex subject of Christ and culture in a different way: by describing four types of clearings (Garden, Park, Glen, Meadow) in which twenty-first century leaders are laboring. The language of "clearing" is another way of talking about "Kingdom" and kingdom is another way of talking about creativity. Each clearing engenders a different ecosystem.

Sweet goes on to explain that those in the first clearing, the Garden, use only tried and true seeds that have been inherited. They retain the purity of the seed stock and pass on the rituals of planting as they've inherited them. This is called "preserving message/preserving method" clearing.

The second clearing, the Park, use only the seeds that have been passed down from their ancestors, but they exploit new methods of planting the ground. This is the "preserving message/evolving methods" clearing.

Third is the Glen, where they feel free to fortify the seed stock and adapt it to meet the challenges of new environments. However, they sow this new seed in traditional ground with traditional plows. This is the "evolving message/preserving method" clearing.

Finally, those in the Meadow are open to augmenting the seed stock, even using new techniques of cross-fertilization, hybridization, and the like. They desire to use the latest tractors and any other equipment needed. This is the "evolving message/evolving method" clearing.

Obviously, this isn't absolute. These "clearings" or quadrants aren't the final say in who we are. But it's an interesting study.

To answer my own question from the previous blog...I use a genuine "how are you?" method as well as food. Food can reach people and make them vulnerable in ways that open you up to conversation later. And, when ordering or paying or whatever I'm doing in daily life, I try to always ask people how their day is going in some way. It's amazing the hunger people have to just be cared about...if even for a short moment.

Blessings...

Finished a "fun" book of light reading Sunday, so I thought it was time to get into something a bit meatier.

I've had "The Church in Emerging Culture" for some time and haven't dug in yet.

There are 5 authors: Leonard Sweet, Andy Crouch, Michael Horton, Frederica Mathewes-Green, Brian McLaren, and Erwin Raphael McManus.

The book begins with Leonard Sweet, who happens to blow my mind. When he was in Fresno for the ZOE Conference, I would listen, and then have to stop and think about what he just said, which made me sometimes miss what he was saying next. He has a sarcastic tone, but generally, his thoughts are brilliant...in my opinion.

His chapter begins:

"It has been more than fifty years since the publication of H.Richard Niebur's classic text Christ and Culture (1951), which asked the question, What kinds of relationships does the church want with the culture?"

Sweet goes on to say that Niebur's book was "one of the most influential Christian books of the past century." He then says, "Niebuhr's words aren't the last on the subject. Five decades after Christ and Culture, we're still asking: Is the 'lived culture' of Christian faith shaped by criteria intrinsic to itself or in mutual exchange with the culture?"

So, fifty years ago the questions were the same as today. And, in the first century, the question was how to relate to the culture. Sweet goes on to say that the Christ of the Bible is the Christ of a culture. The ultimate act of communication in history, the Incarnation, means that Christ became a part of a culture and can't be understood apart from culture. You can't live in God without living in the world.

So, my question of the day is this...

How do you personally relate to the world? What tools do you have that catches the worlds attention? How do you, Christian people, develop healthy relationship with the world?

I have an answer for myself...but you'll have to tune in next time the read it. For now, I'm interested in your comments regarding your own life.

Blessings...

The "Viewing"

This blog won't take long.

Went to "view" Lex's Grandmother today. I've been to a few, and usually, they're in a larger room so you can "escape" actually "viewing" the body in the casket.

I know I'm weird. Maybe it's the hundreds of funerals I've sung for, or maybe I'm just really a strange bird, but I don't get the viewing concept.

We went to the Funeral Home and they directed us to a room where the door was closed. We expected others to be there, but nobody was in the room except Avery, Lex, and I. Open the door and nearly walked right into Grandma.

Oh, this isn't good. Closed the door and immediately felt the blood, or something, rush to my head. Turned my back on Grandma to read the guest list of those who had already been there. Felt a little light headed...fortunately there was a chair and a couch. Avery took the couch, I took the chair. Sweet Lex was paying his respects to Grandma.

"So, isn't this a cool old house?" I asked my architect son.

"This was a house?"

"A long time ago...can you imagine living here? It's beautiful." I answered

We made small talk, I took the "program" and fanned my face that felt like it was on fire.

I acted very cool. Then, Lex asked me if I was ready to go.

I was up and out of there before he even finished the sentence.

So, here's the important part of my blog.

For the record, when I quit breathing, when God takes my soul from this earth, when I no longer have control over my make-up, hair, and clothes...I don't want to be viewed. I don't care who you are. I don't care how much you proclaim you loved me, I don't care how long we knew each other...don't view me. It panics me to even think about it.

By the way, the quick nano-second that I glanced at Grandma, I noticed she looked beautiful. Peaceful. But then that fever came over me and I had to look away.

Blessings.

This vacation stuff is glorious.



O.K. I've really only been home. I've not been to Cancun, the Greek Isle, or Bahamas.

It usually takes me about a week to become fully detached from work. It's been a week. I'm beyond detached! I'm giddy...

Home is wonderful. I've loved being here. Lex called the other day to see if I wanted to meet him somewhere for lunch...something I normally would have LOVED doing. I surprised him as well as myself by saying I just wanted to be home. Didn't want to go anywhere.

Baked some cookies yesterday for a friend who had surgery 2 weeks ago. Thought she might be up for some oatmeal raisin specialties...iced with a scrumptious glaze, of course! So, last night I packaged up three plates of goodies. Avery took one plate to the neighbors and Lex and I took off to deliver the other two.

As we were driving, Lex got a phone call that his grandmother had just passed away. We've been expecting it, but none-the-less, it's strange to actually get the call.

"You o.k?" I asked.
"sure...it's better" he answered.

We continued on toward the goal of delivering our plates of love to those who mean a great deal to us.

I thought how strange it is that someone can actually pass from earth and we just continue driving to deliver cookies. Seems like something should happen, but what?

We had a wonderful evening together, Lex and I. We talked and laughed and enjoyed our friends.

My phone rang and Ashley said she was going to bed...she had to be up early for a journey to Sacramento today. Said good night and she loved me. It made me want to quickly get home and hug and kiss my girl.

We made our final stop at the grocery store for milk and hurried home. It was good to be home again...Avery curled up in a chair with a blanket watching the end of the newest released Harry Potter DVD and Ashley in her bed almost asleep. I bent down and kissed her sweet cheek and neck taking in a deep breath. I don't ever want to forget that sweet smell of my children...even when they aren't in my home any longer.

I don't know what will happen the moment I pass from earth...probably people will go on about their business and hopefully think sweet things about me. I do know, though, that I am enjoying every second filled with millions of blessings while I'm here.

I love being around the table with my kids and husband. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen often enough. But when it does, I treasure it.

The conversation is almost always spirited, vibrant, intelligent, and revealing. It's neat to be able to talk to your kids like adults.

I asked the kids if they had any opinion on the practice of Lent. I specifically asked Avery if he knew what it was..."the stuff in the bottom of your pockets?" he replied with a naughty grin. I never know for sure if he's joking.

Then, because Ashley has many friends of the Catholic and Lutheran faith, I asked if she'd tell us what she knows about it. She did a good job explaining it. I then asked if they thought it wasn't a really good practice. Something physical we do to help us focus on Christ on a daily basis...how can that be bad?

We talked about the fact that just because it isn't commonly practiced in the C of C doesn't mean it isn't something good...and, just because it's embraced by another "religion" doesn't mean it's bad.

Ashley said we missed out on the "Fat Tuesday" part of it which puts us at a disadvantage. Basically, we agreed we have been living like it's "Fat Tuesday" for about 3 months now. It's time to become more focused and disciplined.

They agreed...

"So, Mom," Avery asked, "what are you going to give up?"

Yikes...why do I have to answer first, and when did this conversation flip from me in charge to them?

"I don't know...what do you guys think you would be willing to give up?" I used the 'ole Randy method of answering a question with a question.

Ashley responded that her friends had given up a multitude of things but mainly sugar and caffeine. Some have given up meat...some chocolate. But the majority have the sugar and soda thing in common. So, she thought giving up sugar and soda would be good because she wouldn't want to eat/drink in front of her friends anyway. So, basically, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Avery thought sugar and soda was a good thing to give up. Lex, too. So, what was I to do? How can I give up anything and still retain sugar and soda? O.K. I'll give up sugar and soda.

I was so grateful to see today at the grocery store Black Cherry Jello in a sugar free container. Very exciting. There was Chocolate, also. So, in my fridge sits happy little pudding/jello cups minus one. I've already tried the Black Cherry...very tasty!

I have thrown away the M&M's...I've tried to throw away the Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream in the freezer, but can't quite seem to follow through with that. I need to dump the 2 liter sodas we have left over from a dinner we had with company a few days ago.

So, if you had to give something up, (or maybe you do during this time), what would be most difficult to let go of?

I don't think it's a necessary practice to get me into heaven, but something that helps create physical health while at the same time focusing my mind on Christ can't be bad. When I have wanted something I promised to refrain from, it has made me think about what He gave up for me. Seems trivial in comparison to His sacrifice.

Blessings!

Am I the only one in the world who noticed her hair first? Really, you guys...take a look at that hair. Seriously...why wasn't that one of the choices..."What is the first thing you noticed about her?" Please, somebody tell me you noticed the her weird ponytail.

O.K. I give...who is this?

And this? No, really, I want to know.

Am I embarrassing you, Steve? Really, I don't know who these people are and wonder why that girl would allow a picture of herself like that on the internet.

Oh, by the way, I scored 4%. And, I'm a little upset at that...

What did I answer that said I was 4% nerdy?

Oh, well...the test said I might even be cool. My kids would disagree.

Happy Monday!

Yesterday was a huge day in our family. In my life as a mother, it was a milestone. It was one of those moments you're proud of in so many ways, but internally, you ache and hurt because it is just that...one more step toward adulthood for your child.

My Avery bought his first vehicle. He's been searching and saving for months. He knew exactly what he wanted and he found it. I can't say I'm excited about it. My first thought as I looked at it through a few tears was how big it was...how tall it was...how easily it could roll over in a split second...where's the roll bar? (My boys assured me they would be attaching a roll bar.)

This is the vehicle that drives in front of you and makes you crazy because you can't see around it. This is the truck you hear before you see it coming. This is my son's dream. What's a mother to do?

I haven't seen Avery so excited about anything since...well...maybe ever. This is it for him.

It's so hard to continue to parent while balancing that line of "I support you and whatever you decide" and "are you nuts?! Have you thought this through?"

When they are little, you make all their decisions for them. Then, gradually, the scales tip the other way and they begin making all their own decisions...hopefully with your input, but ultimately, it's up to them.

My job is to love, encourage, support, teach where possible, and stand back. Whew...that stand back part is tough. Some of you already know this. You've been there.

I wonder how many times in our life God, our Father, who loves us like no other, stands back and hopes we make wise decisions? Sometimes shaking His head wondering "what are they thinking?"

I don't think Avery made an unwise choice. If you know my son, you know he's researched and studied and figured out exactly what he's doing before he does it. He's already told me the wheels and tires alone are worth what he paid for the whole truck. He knows what he's doing.

Let me just close by saying, I long for the little boy playing in the floor with his hot wheels. I ache for the sound of the big wheel tearing down the side walk. It seems like only yesterday we took him to buy his first big bike with his own money.

And now in front of my house sits a Chevy Truck taller than I...

It is possible to be very proud and very sad all in the same moment.