Yesterday was a huge day in our family. In my life as a mother, it was a milestone. It was one of those moments you're proud of in so many ways, but internally, you ache and hurt because it is just that...one more step toward adulthood for your child.

My Avery bought his first vehicle. He's been searching and saving for months. He knew exactly what he wanted and he found it. I can't say I'm excited about it. My first thought as I looked at it through a few tears was how big it was...how tall it was...how easily it could roll over in a split second...where's the roll bar? (My boys assured me they would be attaching a roll bar.)

This is the vehicle that drives in front of you and makes you crazy because you can't see around it. This is the truck you hear before you see it coming. This is my son's dream. What's a mother to do?

I haven't seen Avery so excited about anything since...well...maybe ever. This is it for him.

It's so hard to continue to parent while balancing that line of "I support you and whatever you decide" and "are you nuts?! Have you thought this through?"

When they are little, you make all their decisions for them. Then, gradually, the scales tip the other way and they begin making all their own decisions...hopefully with your input, but ultimately, it's up to them.

My job is to love, encourage, support, teach where possible, and stand back. Whew...that stand back part is tough. Some of you already know this. You've been there.

I wonder how many times in our life God, our Father, who loves us like no other, stands back and hopes we make wise decisions? Sometimes shaking His head wondering "what are they thinking?"

I don't think Avery made an unwise choice. If you know my son, you know he's researched and studied and figured out exactly what he's doing before he does it. He's already told me the wheels and tires alone are worth what he paid for the whole truck. He knows what he's doing.

Let me just close by saying, I long for the little boy playing in the floor with his hot wheels. I ache for the sound of the big wheel tearing down the side walk. It seems like only yesterday we took him to buy his first big bike with his own money.

And now in front of my house sits a Chevy Truck taller than I...

It is possible to be very proud and very sad all in the same moment.