Graduation Week

It's difficult to believe but Graduation Week is here!



I remember the little boy I took to Kindergarten. I can see him in my mind just like it was yesterday. I remember the award he received graduating from Elementary School because he was kind and good to everyone.



I can see the people at Computech Middle School telling us parents that they would love and protect and teach our children to their very best ability. I can see a particular teacher giving me comfort when I was nervous about letting him be in a magnet school on the "bad" side of town...



I remember the first time he talked to me about his Rocket Projects. It was then I learned to smile and nod and say things like, "wow, you're really smart", or "wow, you're doing amazing things" or "wow, I'm so proud of you"...because I truly didn't understand a word he was saying.



I remember the first day he drove his truck to school after getting his license. I texted him on his phone to make sure he had arrived safely and was worried all day until I heard his truck drive in.



And now, it's time to graduate from this and move on to something even bigger. It really does seem like yesterday. Such bitter sweet thoughts. One the one hand, my heart breaks to think about him leaving and going to ACU. To not have him home with me is such a sad thing. And yet, my heart is full of joy and pride as I watch the man he is becoming.



I know life gets busy. I know you get irritated with little things. I know children can be trying. But, in the blink of an eye, things change. So, enjoy each moment. Don't sweat the small stuff. Build each other up every chance you get.



I imagine I'll have a tear or two as I watch my boy cross the stage to receive his diploma. But I would guess I still have many days ahead to say things like, "wow, you're really smart" or "wow, you're doing amazing things" or "wow, I'm so proud of you".



Blessings

Sweet Hour of Prayer

Many of you know Stephen Bailey and have already heard the sad news that he lost his nephew, Connor, in an automobile accident last night...(Monday)

His niece, Bailey, was airlifted to a hospital where she survived surgery that helped repair many broken and shattered bones. Bailey was/is headed to ACU in the fall...had just graduated from High School.

As I read the email from my friend telling me of this tragedy, my heart felt empty. My stomach began to turn. My head felt light. Physically, I was becoming sick at this news that I knew was so devastating to my friend, Stephen and his family.

My son was outside washing his truck. Lex was there chatting with him. My daughter was on the phone with one of her very best friends laughing that deep, sweet laugh that only comes from genuine acceptance and unconditional love of a long time friend.

I went to her bedroom and said, "hang up...call them back...we need to pray." I went to the front screen door and told the boys, "come in here...we need to pray..."

As I shared with them quickly what had happened, they came running to be part of a tiny circle of prayer for this family. We stood in our entry way, hands clasped together, forming what I think is the most powerful tool we have as Christians. Prayer...

What is important at the moment becomes ridiculous in light of such tragedy. When you know the deep wounds of a brother and sister, your helplessness becomes strength through prayer.

I ask you all to pray for this family. For Stephen and his family (the Bailey's) and for his sister and brother-in-law (Tod and LeeAnn Brown) at the loss of one child and the recovery of another.

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

Mother's Day

This post is overdue, however, one of the most fun things we did on our Texas adventure was take in a Rangers/Angels game on Mother's Day.

I had found a couple of things for us to do on that day that I thought my Mom would enjoy. The Fort Worth Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth with a 200 per choir and various soloists. The Dallas Symphony had a Tschaikovsky day which would have been beautiful also. But, when my mom found out that the Angels were playing the Rangers, there was no questions which event she wanted to take in for Mother's Day.

We had a blast. Wonderful seats. Very intimate park...almost any seat would be good, but ours were very good. We had a Hot, Humid, Sweat dripping very good time. It was hot to begin with, but then, as often happened while we were in Texas, clouds blew in and thunder rolled and the rain came quickly...and then it was gone and all that was left was the humidity.

I sat between my mom and my daughter. Mom cheered for the Angels, Ash cheered for the Rangers, and I cheered for both.

Forget the flowers and tea and "foo-foo" for my mom...just bring on a little healthy competition out in the heat and she's happy.

Blessings!

Home Sweet Home

So good to be home.

We had a wonderful time, but there's nothing like being home again.

Ashley said she was sore from sleeping so hard in her bed...I felt the same way this morning. There's nothing like the "familiar" to make you sleep good.

My favorite part was getting up early and looking in each of the bedrooms and seeing the little lumps in the bed. In both rooms...

I will enjoy this for a couple of months, and then I will be sad. But for today, I feel blessed to have both my sweet children home for a short while...

Blessings.

Dorm Life

I've been in Abilene for a few days now...since Tuesday. And yes, I'm still dizzy because my glasses are not right. I was told it takes a while to get used to glasses which I knew, because I've worn them before. But, these are just plain wrong. I don't know where the "wrongness" occurred (sorry Wendy), but they are wrong.

Vision problems aside, I have had a wonderful time. I've been living in an empty dorm room across the hall from my baby girl. My mom came with me, so Ash has both Mom and Grandma to take care of! Bless!

ACU is one of the most amazing places I've visited. The first morning, Ashley took us all around the campus. If you ever have the chance to come visit, do. This place has God all over it. Every corner, every prayer room, every piece of art, every peace garden, every classroom.

And, with some new grant money, it's even green with flowering plants and many new trees planted! It really is beautiful, which I don't remember it being last summer when I dropped Ashley off.

There are so many stories, so many students, so many hearts searching for God. I'm proud of my daughter...and, as I'm preparing to lose my son to ACU in a couple of months, there is a peace knowing what kind of place this is.

It's after midnight. I just polished off a Hershey bar with almonds as I sit in her room and blog while she studies for her 8 am final. Grandma finally gave up and went to bed about 11:45...she's a pretty cool grandma!

I've prayed for so many things for my children...health, safety, Godly mates, happy hearts. But my constant prayer has been that they seek and hear the voice of God in their lives. That they desire a deep relationship with their Creator, and that they live a life of service within the Kingdom.

I'm a good mama...Lex is a wonderful father. But there comes a time when even the best parents must pass that baton on to someone else to continue developing their children's hearts. I'm happy to pass that baton to this place...however, I'll never stop praying.

Blessings.

One Eyed and Dizzy

I had an irritation in my eye on Wednesday morning. Not sure what it was, but we think it may have come from the church building when they were cleaning the ducts from the fire...

So, by Wednesday morning, I needed to take my contact out of that one eye because I looked deformed. Bright red blood shot eyeball. ICK! I looked like Steven's cat...if any of you have had the pleasure of meeting Tabby, you'll know what I mean.

I had some old (but not expired) drops I had purchased for a previous eye problem and thought I could knock out the irritation with a little self-prescribed medicine.

By Friday morning, it wasn't any better, so I called the eye Dr. and got in to see him. I have an ulcer on my eye, caused from some debris.

Can only wear my left contact, which makes me totally dizzy and off balance. But, the alternative is to be blind and that's not a good option when driving. I don't have glasses because...well, I just don't, O.K.?

So, I'm leaving Tuesday morning. Flying to Dallas and driving to Abilene to get my girl. YIPPEE!! I'm so excited. BUT, I can't see.

It's one thing to drive in a town you know well without seeing out of one eye...but another town? Another state? Nope...no-can-do!

This morning I went to the eyeglass place that a friend from church works at. They are rushing a pair of glasses for me and to top it off, he's delivering them Monday night at the church because I'll be in a meeting. Friends are amazing.

But for now, until Monday night, I'll be One Eyed and Dizzy.

I always think people with glasses look smarter. I'm looking forward to that!

Blessings.

I bought a DVD that is supposed to have some exercise "routines" I might be able to handle.

You see, I can't just go pick up any exercise routine, or take off running miles and miles. In fact, a dear friend has offered to walk with me, but her walk would be useless because I'll be very slow and very short. She'll have to exercise after we exercise just to get her work out in!

I found this DVD that has gospel music on it and I was thinking it might encourage me to hear the music as I do what I despise! I've known for two months that not only do I need to lose weight by eating healthier, but the exercise factor is a huge deal here. I would love to ignore it...in fact I have!

I bought this DVD days ago. (maybe a week or so ago) And finally, last night, I decided to put it in the player and see what it's all about. There was a very amateur production of a couple of 10 minute line dances, a 20 minute walking/step routine, and a 30 minute cardio workout. I loved it, it was entertaining. A little goofy, and quite low budget. But, the key here is that I could actually do what they were asking me to do.

At least I think I can. Last night, I just sat on the couch and watched it.

Maybe tonight I'll get up and join them!

Blessings!

Distractions...

Monday night, well, Tuesday morning if we're gonna get technical, there was a fire in our church building.

Some "angry-not-enough-to-do" person decided to set a trash can up against the back of the church and set it on fire. According to the fire investigator and police and a hundred other "specialists" who have been on campus for two days straight, they had to use some kind of accelerant to make it get as hot as it did and climb the stucco wall, thus burning through to the inside of the building.

The actual "fire" damage was limited to one wall, albeit a strong beam load bearing wall...(YIKES). But the other damage is still being uncovered.

Fortunately, we have a good alarm system which includes sprinklers that go on at the first sign of fire, so the water damage is another story. One whole wing is incapacitated because of smoke and water damage.

However, we're working through it. At least we're trying.

I am currently sitting at my desk, which at least now has power...until late yesterday, we had no electricity. There are a gazillion fans and dehumidifiers running all down the hall, into every office and school room. It is a maze to get from point "A" to point "B". The noise is deafening. I rarely get headaches. I woke up in the night with a doosie! And sitting here now, it's only getting worse. So, with the smoke smell, the darkness in the hallways, (that circuit hasn't been restored, yet.), the absolute ridiculous noise from the fans, not to mention the "mess" the whole wing is in because of ripped up baseboards and moved furniture, it's a little hard to concentrate.

And yet, we still need a worship order for Sunday. Hmmm...

This isn't about me. Not by any stretch. This is about the amazing crews of people who have jumped to come help. Not only church members, but city workers, and others. This is about those who will have to spend countless hours working on this project...because this is a long haul kind of project. This is about how to continue to lead a church in the midst of mess. And, this is about how to reconcile some body's anger and disregard in our own heads and actually pray for the person who created this distraction.

But, most of all, this is about how we can't let the distraction distract us. Period.

Pray for our church. Pray for our front ladies having to deal with city inspectors, contractors, adjusters. And pray that this is just another moment when we see God's goodness come shining through.

Blessings!

Some of you out there know my sister-in-law is a "Creative Memories" rep and is quite passionate and successful at her business. She's been trying to encourage me to just start with the picture thing. I take millions of pics. I have millions of pics in boxes in the closets. But the task of putting them in albums has, up to this point, been overwhelming. There's just too much! I truly expect that next year, after my Avery leaves for ACU, I'll need something to distract me from my empty nest. What better than pictures of your babies who are no longer babies? I'll start next year...maybe...

There's a point to the above paragraph. Have you, in blogland, ever had SO MUCH that you couldn't even blog about it because it was just too much? Like the boxes of pictures, it's just overwhelming! Life has been whirling and spinning and progressing at such a fast pace I can't even keep up!

So, for now, I just wanted to check in and say...life is good. Life is blessed. Life is very hard. Life is swelling with fullness beyond description.

More later when it can all be sorted.
Blessings!

There is something about the word "accepted" that makes us happy...comfortable...at rest.

We all want to feel like we're accepted. Accepted in normal society, accepted with our friends, even our family. There is a wonderful feeling that you have when you have friends and family that love you unconditionally and accept you in all circumstances.

My son received his "acceptance letter" from ACU last week. It was packaged beautifully, as if you might want to keep it and treasure it forever. To have your name on the top of the letter..."Dear Avery"...and to continue reading that it is their pleasure to inform you that you've been "accepted" to Abilene Christian University is quite a good feeling.

It just seems like yesterday I was feeling all these feelings because my sweet daughter was receiving the same letter and preparing to graduate and go to Texas. I wondered if I would feel the same sadness...surely, I'd be used to it. More practiced. An old pro at this "child leaving home" thing. Nope.

Avery is one of the sweetest, kindest, smartest young men I know. Not because of anything I've done...but because he's been showered with God's goodness and mercy through a huge community of people who love him unconditionally, and accept him all the time.

So, congratulations Avery. I had no doubts they would want you.

And really, Congratulations Abilene Christian University! You're getting a magnificent young man!

Blessings.

My children thought it would be nice to give their Daddy a puppy for Christmas! He's been wanting another dog for quite some time now, and I was the one who kept saying "please, no." We have a dog. A very sweet old dog. A dog that I have loved very much in spite of my "no dog" rule.

So, to bring in another puppy, to me, just didn't make sense. Puppies are like babies. They cry and poop and pee and need to be fed and cared for 24/7. I knew I had lost the battle when at Christmas time, a friend of my daughter's dog had puppies. Black lab/German Shepherd puppies. I finally gave in when the kids said, "Dad doesn't ask for much, ever, so we think we should listen when he asks..." So the kids took off to go choose the puppy for their Dad.

It seems that life has been hectic and crazy since Christmas and I've not introduced you to Lex's new love. This is Jake... He is hysterical and yes, he's a mess. He is a very good dog, though, and although I was against it, watching a grown man cry when his children handed him their gift to him changed my mind.

I guess I'm just destined to always have a dog around. It's one of those marriage compromises we make because it makes the other person very happy.

It's worth it.

Happy Birthday James

I tried to blog on James' birthday, but blogger wouldn't allow. Seems to be less touchy today...

James is funny...very funny. I find myself amused by him often, just like I am amused by his Daddy often. At least James hasn't figured out, yet, how to get me in trouble in church by making me laugh. Give him time, though, because he definitely has his Daddy's genes in the silly category.

James is sweet and kind. He's turning from the natural selfish instincts we all have, to a boy with a heart of empathy and concern.

James is learning to be a Christ follower.

James doesn't quite get yet how blessed he is. Maybe we all don't quite get it. But James has a very large community of people who will pray with him, play with him, love him unconditionally, and teach him constantly.

He is blessed, and he in turn is a blessing to us.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET JAMES!

Spring Break

Ashley flew in today at noon to begin her 10 days of Spring Break.

It's so good to see her and hear about the ways she is growing and experiencing life.

Some things hurt deeply, like letting your child go 1411 miles away to College, however, there couldn't have been a better place for her to grow and develop as a Godly woman.

So, I'll continue giving things up to God, because He seems to know what he's doing!

For all those on Spring Break this week...Enjoy!! And stay safe...

Blessings.

Joe Beam

Did any of you see Joe Beam on the Today show yesterday?

I was getting ready for work and had it on. I listen but don't usually stop to watch unless something strikes my fancy.

Yesterday, they continued to "tease" this segment with sentences like:

"An evangelical preacher talking about something very uncomfortable..."
or
"Wait till you see what this evangelical preacher is talking to his folks about..."

I didn't pay much attention, but when they actually ran the story, they said his name which made me stop and watch. They ran a tape of him speaking to his audiences about sex and the pleasures and joy and blessing of it. They then did a live interview with him.

His message was good. They even had someone on with him to "counteract" what he was saying, but she couldn't. When it came her turn, she simply said "I think what he's teaching is great!"

So good to see the church in a positive light, isn't it? Maybe if we can talk to the world about things that grab their attention, we can eventually talk to them about their salvation.

Blessings.

Habits

The thing about habits is that they are so...well...habitual.

I mean, if it's a true habit, it's something you do without even thinking, right?

Let me give you a list of things I wish I were in the "habit" of doing...

1. Wake at 5:00 am every morning to go for a brisk-cardio-healthy-oxygen-pumping-hour-long walk.

2. Spend at least 2 hours each day in prayer. 1 hour just meditating and listening, and one hour conversing with no distraction/interruption with my Heavenly Father.

3. Eat only when I am hungry...and here's the best one, stop eating when I'm full.

4. Actually send the card or make the visit when I know someone could use it.

...and the list could go on and on of things I wish I were better at...

But, here are the things that I am in the habit of:

1. Telling my children how much I love them and how proud of them I am...every day.

2. Talking to God all the time, even if I don't carve out the specific private time.

3. Getting those cards/visits done about 75% of the time.

4. Cooking to my hearts delight beginning with baked goods and dinners that almost always start with a cube of butter.

5. Eating when I'm anxious, but not necessarily hungry.

6. Eating when I'm happy, but not necessarily hungry.

7. Eating when I'm sad, but not necessarily hungry.

These are all things I do without thinking. These ARE my habits. And although some of them are wonderful, some are dangerous.

My husband and I both received word from our Dr's this weekend/week. Mine on Friday, and truthfully, I forgot about it in the worry of my husbands episodes. But today, it's all coming back to me.

We have changes to make. Not easy changes...not changes that will happen over night. We have life changes to make.

It is as if we are alcoholic, or addicted to drugs, or any other physical/mental problem that people deal with. It will be no easier for us than for those kicking their bad habits.

So, I ask you all for one thing. Pray for us. Don't nag...don't give advice...we have plenty of people doing that and there will come a moment when I will probably have to ask those good intentioned souls to stop. Just pray.

Our changes will determine how long we live. So, just pray.

Thank you.
Blessings

It is good to be home with my husband tonight...

They worked hard, medically/drug-wise, to get his blood pressure down just so they could give him the medication that "amps" him up as to running a marathon. He said it was very weird feeling the feelings of running hard and long all the while laying still.

He has bruises from i.v. inputs, bruises from taking his blood pressure every half hour for the past 3 days, and sore muscles from not so comfy hospital beds. But, he's home and I couldn't be happier.

The stress test proved no damage to his heart. Valves are open and flowing properly. No blockages. The only problem seems to be a calloused heart. (silly wording...they obviously don't know lex) The walls of his heart are tough and thick from too much time ignoring the high blood pressure and not taking his medication.

He is a changed man. He has many people very frustrated, but grateful. He won't get away with not taking his medicine ever again.

He has a very ugly orange shirt that he happens to love. He came walking out in that ugly orange shirt after his first shower in three days. He's never looked so good to me.

Thank you for those who knew and prayed. We were overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and concern. Community is a beautiful thing...

Valentines Day...the morning after.

What a sweet Valentine night I had. I spent it with my two favorite boys...my husband and my son.

I love occasions that cause you to stop and say how much someone means to you...and Valentines Day is one of those occasions.

I am fully aware I have very little "normal home" time left with my Avery, so last night, Lex and I cooked a wonderful dinner at home. I don't like going out on holidays like this because everything is overpriced, crowded, and short on relaxation!

Lex BBQ'd steaks and we had baked potatoes and green beans and beautiful bread. We sipped sparkling cider from wedding present champagne glasses, and a home made heart chocolate cake for dessert! The table had a fresh red table cloth and I wore my new (from Christmas) red apron.

We gave Avery what any truck owning 17 year old boy would want...gas gift cards! And my sweet husband came walking in with a beautiful "kitchen-y" basket from William Sonoma with fresh dish towels, kitchen tools, a Paula Deen DVD Set (I love that woman), and pixie sticks. Yes, you read that correctly. I adore pixie sticks.

The presents were fun. The dinner was fabulous. But the best part was the conversation. The laughter. The silliness. The "just-being-together".

I'm not waiting until a holiday to do it again. Every time you get to be together with your family should be viewed as a special occasion.

Blessings...

One of my favorite things to do these days, is lay on my sons bed, which is bumped right up against his desk/computer, of which he spends countless hours. So, sometimes, if I want a conversation with him, I must go to him.

The bed is a great place because I'm not standing over him, I'm relaxed, which seems to relax him, and I can't see the computer screen...so he knows I'm just there for him and not to "check up" on him. (Not that I'm beyond that, but it's just not usually necessary.)

He was IM-ing with his sister last night. I love watching him giggle quietly as their comments to each other flew...and I mean FLEW back and forth. They are both very witty people, so when they get together, it can be amusing.

I just sat back, enjoyed the sounds of his room, (computer, fish tank, music, etc.). I was looking around in between conversation with him and his sister, and then my eyes landed on the top of the inside of his closet. Hot Wheel Tracks and cars, Robots, Legos, and on the floor, Dump Trucks, Children's Books, and so on. My son takes very good care of his "stuff" and has saved some things for his son.

My eyes filled, my throat closed up...my heart pounded. Where did the time go? I looked at him, and then back to the closet and back to him. His sweet face, and beautiful spirit...funny heart and sometimes difficult personality, his sideburns and muscles...

I don't think I'm alone in missing the grown up stuff at times. I think, as parents, we tend to see our kids as just kids. Maybe not babies, but definitely not grown up people.

My son is a grown up person. Complete with a mind of his own and a heart determined to be on it's own path. He's an amazing, caring, hard working young man.

I miss the Legos, the feet of track and cars I would trip over. I miss the sweet boy who couldn't sit close enough to you. I miss the gentle "do whatever you say" spirit. But, those days were just a preparation for what he is now...and what he is becoming.

Look out world. There is one awesome young man about to enter your gates!

Contagious Passion...

I have been talking recently with someone who is very dear to me...my daughter.

We talk often, but the conversations contained in the past two days have not been the typical mother-daughter stuff as usual. Oh, those words are still there...but there's more.

She is being awakened to a hurting world, a lost world, a world she is beginning to feel a responsibility to. ACU does a beautiful job of informing and presenting many different ways you can be involved in the "betterment" of this planet. She has grabbed on with gusto.

Her passion is contagious. Her heart is full of ideas. Her mind is reeling with possibilities.

Do you remember that feeling? Before you "got the sense knocked into you?" Before you let reality set in? Before you decided you could only do so much?

I am so grateful for her passion. I think it's time the church wakes up to this generation of intelligent, passionate, amazing people. We could learn, or re-learn, much from them.

Do we really want to be missional? Do we? Really?

It's not pretty...but, goodness, it's beautiful!

I am one tired puppy.
It wasn't the endless Christmas rehearsals, nor was it the long hours planning and enjoying the ZOE Conference. It wasn't the Super Bowl Party and it isn't the daily tasks of life. I'm just tired. I've been going to the Dr since August trying to figure this whole thing out. So far, we are continuing to treat the effects of the imbalances (no jokes please), but haven't discovered the REASON for the imbalance.

Randy once told me there is no guilt in blogland, and I don't have to apologize for not writing on a regular basis. I'm trying to believe that!

I have had so many "God moments" I've wanted to share for the past couple of months, but really just haven't had the energy.

So, my friends, I will ask you again to pray for my health. I know there are those in much worse situations than I, and I feel silly even bringing it up. But, it's a constant cloud over my every day comings and goings.

God has been so evident in my life. He is so very good to me. He is constant and faithful. I want to be teachable. I don't ever want to think " I've arrived " at some kind of spiritual maturity. But Satan can seep into you through discouragement and this has been a long enough battle for me to become discouraging.

Thank you in advance for your presence in my life and the prayers you will say on my behalf.