Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Hard day...

There was a funeral for a young man (28 years old) who had committed suicide.

I found this one very strange. I've dealt with suicide issues before, but this one seemed different. He was very compassionate, considerate, and creative. Knew God, was very intelligent, and extremely handsome. Had enough...didn't want for family, or friends, or money, or anything.

There was a visiting pastor from another church handling the service...we were singing a few songs...the church was packed. Literally standing room only. Probably 800+ people there.

Finally, the pastor talked about an evil world converging on this precious young man with a tender heart. It became more than he could manage...whatever "it" is. So, in this pastor's mind, and in his message, he claimed it was a battle between good and evil...and evil won for a moment.

Do you know the "shudder", the internal tsunami, the trembling that message put into my soul?

Because as a mother, you sit and look at this wonderful mother who lost her boy to the evils of this world...and somehow, you think, "it wouldn't...it couldn't happen to me"...and then the guy says something that explodes that thought right out of the universe as he basically says...

"it could happen to anyone...given the right set of circumstances, it could even happen to you."


Holy cow...my stomach has been in knots all day. It was one of the longest funerals I've been to...and it's been one of the longest days of my life.

I guess, as always, this has to be given up to a powerful and loving God. I have to be able to say...again..."You are in control...not me"

Please pray for the Tuell family.

1 comment:

Brandon Scott Thomas said...

goodness, friend. these things don't ever make sense and trying to make sense of them only adds to the insanity. i will definitely be remembering that family. that's a very difficult situation. i am not sure how i would handle that except to sit and mourn with the family. sometimes words mean nothing in times like that. peace to you.

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