I didn't know the lady who passed away, but her grandchild and some extended family attend College. So, I was honored to go sing at her grave side.

I thought I'd been in every cemetery in the Valley, but this one had escaped me. It was a beautiful, small, country cemetery surrounded by acres and acres of undeveloped land. Something difficult to find around here.

As I listened to the letters and words from family and friends, I thought I would have loved this woman. According to her family, she was sophisticated, classy, cultured, talented, generous, and sweet. Somebody said "mostly sweet"...that was the word they used above all others to define her.

Her home was always open, she made her family feel special, she baked and cooked and sewed. She was a wonderful artist.

She was struck with Alzheimers about 6 years ago and was "very bad" for about the last 4. They didn't talk about that. They just talked about all the wonderful things she was to them in her healthy days.

They didn't talk about how much money they had, or how many things she owned, or how many expensive trips they had been on. They talked about relationship and the way she made them feel in her presence.

The interesting thing about this funeral was that only when somebody took me aside and shared some information with me did I know how incredibly wealthy this family is. It didn't come from the family...and you would never have known it by their conversation. That's not what mattered to them.

As I stood on top of that hill, looking around, I was told that as far as the eye could see in two directions was undeveloped land owned by this family. Goodness! It was overwhelming. But it didn't matter.

What mattered was that when they asked her to bake a coconut cream pie, she not only baked coconut, but also chocolate.

That when the granddaughter needed a special outfit for a function at school, her grandma made her the prettiest dress in the whole world that made her feel like a princess.

That when it came time to pay some hefty Dr. bills, their Grandpa sold off a sliver of land to cover the best care he could buy for the woman he would love forever.

That even when she no longer knew him, he went to visit her twice daily, and took ice cream for her every day.

Funerals are good for me.
Funerals remind me of the simple good that gets cluttered by the hectic pace of "life".

This one reminded me that relationship is a beautiful gift from God. Not only relationship with eachother, but with Him.

What kind of imprint do you make on the family and friends you are blessed with?

And what about the strangers you come in contact with?

Blessings.

Back to work today.

Sitting at my desk.

Very strange.

Time away was wonderful.

I cooked
Not only washed the laundry, but actually folded it and put it away.
Enjoyed being there when my kids came home from school.
Cooked some more.
Read
Slept
Enjoyed T.V.
Enjoyed quiet.
Cleaned one cupboard in the kitchen. (only because when I opened it, everything came crashing out and it just irritated me enough to clean it.)
Enjoyed staying up late on Saturday night.
Enjoyed having people over to eat on Wednesday night.

But today, I need to remember what it feels like to focus on work. Honestly, very hard to do.

O.K. I didn't work out, I didn't clean all the closets, and I didn't abstain from all things yummy, BUT, I did learn how to relax again. How to take the day as it comes instead of directing and controlling every issue. How to sit up late under blankets watching a movie on Saturday night with my family. (By the way, Chicken Little broke my heart. Anybody else feel that way about poor little misunderstood Chicken Little?) How to really enjoy being home. It was a good time for me.

My challenge will be to continue to enjoy (while working) the things I enjoyed while not working.

Blessings.

So...the boys went to Las Vegas for the WORLD MONSTER TRUCK FINALS.

Not just the State Finals, not even the National Finals, but the WORLD Finals. They had a blast.

This was Avery's 16th Birthday present...but he had to wait a long time to enjoy it. His birthday was in June and it's now March.


When I bought the tickets in June, the stadium was selling out fast. Can you believe that? They had great seats and had a particularly wonderful guys weekend.

Ashley and I had a wonderful time together doing girlie things. We went Prom Dress shopping, looked at jewelry, went to a yummy lunch, and rented Chicken Little. It was so good to have her all to myself. I realized, again, what a pleasure she is. She is very funny and fun to have around. We usually don't have a full day to spend together and I considered this weekend a real treat.

We went to church Sunday and led worship and then headed to a 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration. Isn't that amazing? 50 years.

The boys returned home last night and today was a regular Monday. Everybody back to their respective jobs/schools.

What a nice break, though. My family is a treasure...an absolute treasure.

By the way, Ashley received her acceptance letter to Pepperdine today. She called me screaming...very excited. Now all we have to do is find a way to pay for it!

Blessings.

Your comments have been interesting. It's a good exercise to simply stop and think about how we relate to the world.

This book has me reading pages over again because it's not in my typical language...but the process is good for me and what I'm learning is exciting.

I say that to say this: I know some of you may see this as simplistic. Maybe you've thought these thoughts months or years before and you're thinking, "Duh, we already knew that." But for me, this is where my brain is at the moment. So, hang in there with me.

There is basically a matrix which offers four general categories addressed in this book. They've chosen 5 people to speak on each quadrant. (one quadrant has two authors).

This matrix represents the church's response to cultural change on two axes, change in method/form/style and change in message/content/substance.

According to the book, churches fall into one of these categories:
1. Low Change in Method/Low Change in Message
2. High Change in Method/Low Change in Message
3. High Change in Message/Low Change in Method
4. High Change in Message/High Change in Method

Leonard Sweet goes on to say this:

This introductory essay anatomizes the complex subject of Christ and culture in a different way: by describing four types of clearings (Garden, Park, Glen, Meadow) in which twenty-first century leaders are laboring. The language of "clearing" is another way of talking about "Kingdom" and kingdom is another way of talking about creativity. Each clearing engenders a different ecosystem.

Sweet goes on to explain that those in the first clearing, the Garden, use only tried and true seeds that have been inherited. They retain the purity of the seed stock and pass on the rituals of planting as they've inherited them. This is called "preserving message/preserving method" clearing.

The second clearing, the Park, use only the seeds that have been passed down from their ancestors, but they exploit new methods of planting the ground. This is the "preserving message/evolving methods" clearing.

Third is the Glen, where they feel free to fortify the seed stock and adapt it to meet the challenges of new environments. However, they sow this new seed in traditional ground with traditional plows. This is the "evolving message/preserving method" clearing.

Finally, those in the Meadow are open to augmenting the seed stock, even using new techniques of cross-fertilization, hybridization, and the like. They desire to use the latest tractors and any other equipment needed. This is the "evolving message/evolving method" clearing.

Obviously, this isn't absolute. These "clearings" or quadrants aren't the final say in who we are. But it's an interesting study.

To answer my own question from the previous blog...I use a genuine "how are you?" method as well as food. Food can reach people and make them vulnerable in ways that open you up to conversation later. And, when ordering or paying or whatever I'm doing in daily life, I try to always ask people how their day is going in some way. It's amazing the hunger people have to just be cared about...if even for a short moment.

Blessings...

Finished a "fun" book of light reading Sunday, so I thought it was time to get into something a bit meatier.

I've had "The Church in Emerging Culture" for some time and haven't dug in yet.

There are 5 authors: Leonard Sweet, Andy Crouch, Michael Horton, Frederica Mathewes-Green, Brian McLaren, and Erwin Raphael McManus.

The book begins with Leonard Sweet, who happens to blow my mind. When he was in Fresno for the ZOE Conference, I would listen, and then have to stop and think about what he just said, which made me sometimes miss what he was saying next. He has a sarcastic tone, but generally, his thoughts are brilliant...in my opinion.

His chapter begins:

"It has been more than fifty years since the publication of H.Richard Niebur's classic text Christ and Culture (1951), which asked the question, What kinds of relationships does the church want with the culture?"

Sweet goes on to say that Niebur's book was "one of the most influential Christian books of the past century." He then says, "Niebuhr's words aren't the last on the subject. Five decades after Christ and Culture, we're still asking: Is the 'lived culture' of Christian faith shaped by criteria intrinsic to itself or in mutual exchange with the culture?"

So, fifty years ago the questions were the same as today. And, in the first century, the question was how to relate to the culture. Sweet goes on to say that the Christ of the Bible is the Christ of a culture. The ultimate act of communication in history, the Incarnation, means that Christ became a part of a culture and can't be understood apart from culture. You can't live in God without living in the world.

So, my question of the day is this...

How do you personally relate to the world? What tools do you have that catches the worlds attention? How do you, Christian people, develop healthy relationship with the world?

I have an answer for myself...but you'll have to tune in next time the read it. For now, I'm interested in your comments regarding your own life.

Blessings...

The "Viewing"

This blog won't take long.

Went to "view" Lex's Grandmother today. I've been to a few, and usually, they're in a larger room so you can "escape" actually "viewing" the body in the casket.

I know I'm weird. Maybe it's the hundreds of funerals I've sung for, or maybe I'm just really a strange bird, but I don't get the viewing concept.

We went to the Funeral Home and they directed us to a room where the door was closed. We expected others to be there, but nobody was in the room except Avery, Lex, and I. Open the door and nearly walked right into Grandma.

Oh, this isn't good. Closed the door and immediately felt the blood, or something, rush to my head. Turned my back on Grandma to read the guest list of those who had already been there. Felt a little light headed...fortunately there was a chair and a couch. Avery took the couch, I took the chair. Sweet Lex was paying his respects to Grandma.

"So, isn't this a cool old house?" I asked my architect son.

"This was a house?"

"A long time ago...can you imagine living here? It's beautiful." I answered

We made small talk, I took the "program" and fanned my face that felt like it was on fire.

I acted very cool. Then, Lex asked me if I was ready to go.

I was up and out of there before he even finished the sentence.

So, here's the important part of my blog.

For the record, when I quit breathing, when God takes my soul from this earth, when I no longer have control over my make-up, hair, and clothes...I don't want to be viewed. I don't care who you are. I don't care how much you proclaim you loved me, I don't care how long we knew each other...don't view me. It panics me to even think about it.

By the way, the quick nano-second that I glanced at Grandma, I noticed she looked beautiful. Peaceful. But then that fever came over me and I had to look away.

Blessings.

This vacation stuff is glorious.



O.K. I've really only been home. I've not been to Cancun, the Greek Isle, or Bahamas.

It usually takes me about a week to become fully detached from work. It's been a week. I'm beyond detached! I'm giddy...

Home is wonderful. I've loved being here. Lex called the other day to see if I wanted to meet him somewhere for lunch...something I normally would have LOVED doing. I surprised him as well as myself by saying I just wanted to be home. Didn't want to go anywhere.

Baked some cookies yesterday for a friend who had surgery 2 weeks ago. Thought she might be up for some oatmeal raisin specialties...iced with a scrumptious glaze, of course! So, last night I packaged up three plates of goodies. Avery took one plate to the neighbors and Lex and I took off to deliver the other two.

As we were driving, Lex got a phone call that his grandmother had just passed away. We've been expecting it, but none-the-less, it's strange to actually get the call.

"You o.k?" I asked.
"sure...it's better" he answered.

We continued on toward the goal of delivering our plates of love to those who mean a great deal to us.

I thought how strange it is that someone can actually pass from earth and we just continue driving to deliver cookies. Seems like something should happen, but what?

We had a wonderful evening together, Lex and I. We talked and laughed and enjoyed our friends.

My phone rang and Ashley said she was going to bed...she had to be up early for a journey to Sacramento today. Said good night and she loved me. It made me want to quickly get home and hug and kiss my girl.

We made our final stop at the grocery store for milk and hurried home. It was good to be home again...Avery curled up in a chair with a blanket watching the end of the newest released Harry Potter DVD and Ashley in her bed almost asleep. I bent down and kissed her sweet cheek and neck taking in a deep breath. I don't ever want to forget that sweet smell of my children...even when they aren't in my home any longer.

I don't know what will happen the moment I pass from earth...probably people will go on about their business and hopefully think sweet things about me. I do know, though, that I am enjoying every second filled with millions of blessings while I'm here.

I love being around the table with my kids and husband. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen often enough. But when it does, I treasure it.

The conversation is almost always spirited, vibrant, intelligent, and revealing. It's neat to be able to talk to your kids like adults.

I asked the kids if they had any opinion on the practice of Lent. I specifically asked Avery if he knew what it was..."the stuff in the bottom of your pockets?" he replied with a naughty grin. I never know for sure if he's joking.

Then, because Ashley has many friends of the Catholic and Lutheran faith, I asked if she'd tell us what she knows about it. She did a good job explaining it. I then asked if they thought it wasn't a really good practice. Something physical we do to help us focus on Christ on a daily basis...how can that be bad?

We talked about the fact that just because it isn't commonly practiced in the C of C doesn't mean it isn't something good...and, just because it's embraced by another "religion" doesn't mean it's bad.

Ashley said we missed out on the "Fat Tuesday" part of it which puts us at a disadvantage. Basically, we agreed we have been living like it's "Fat Tuesday" for about 3 months now. It's time to become more focused and disciplined.

They agreed...

"So, Mom," Avery asked, "what are you going to give up?"

Yikes...why do I have to answer first, and when did this conversation flip from me in charge to them?

"I don't know...what do you guys think you would be willing to give up?" I used the 'ole Randy method of answering a question with a question.

Ashley responded that her friends had given up a multitude of things but mainly sugar and caffeine. Some have given up meat...some chocolate. But the majority have the sugar and soda thing in common. So, she thought giving up sugar and soda would be good because she wouldn't want to eat/drink in front of her friends anyway. So, basically, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Avery thought sugar and soda was a good thing to give up. Lex, too. So, what was I to do? How can I give up anything and still retain sugar and soda? O.K. I'll give up sugar and soda.

I was so grateful to see today at the grocery store Black Cherry Jello in a sugar free container. Very exciting. There was Chocolate, also. So, in my fridge sits happy little pudding/jello cups minus one. I've already tried the Black Cherry...very tasty!

I have thrown away the M&M's...I've tried to throw away the Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream in the freezer, but can't quite seem to follow through with that. I need to dump the 2 liter sodas we have left over from a dinner we had with company a few days ago.

So, if you had to give something up, (or maybe you do during this time), what would be most difficult to let go of?

I don't think it's a necessary practice to get me into heaven, but something that helps create physical health while at the same time focusing my mind on Christ can't be bad. When I have wanted something I promised to refrain from, it has made me think about what He gave up for me. Seems trivial in comparison to His sacrifice.

Blessings!

Am I the only one in the world who noticed her hair first? Really, you guys...take a look at that hair. Seriously...why wasn't that one of the choices..."What is the first thing you noticed about her?" Please, somebody tell me you noticed the her weird ponytail.

O.K. I give...who is this?

And this? No, really, I want to know.

Am I embarrassing you, Steve? Really, I don't know who these people are and wonder why that girl would allow a picture of herself like that on the internet.

Oh, by the way, I scored 4%. And, I'm a little upset at that...

What did I answer that said I was 4% nerdy?

Oh, well...the test said I might even be cool. My kids would disagree.

Happy Monday!

Yesterday was a huge day in our family. In my life as a mother, it was a milestone. It was one of those moments you're proud of in so many ways, but internally, you ache and hurt because it is just that...one more step toward adulthood for your child.

My Avery bought his first vehicle. He's been searching and saving for months. He knew exactly what he wanted and he found it. I can't say I'm excited about it. My first thought as I looked at it through a few tears was how big it was...how tall it was...how easily it could roll over in a split second...where's the roll bar? (My boys assured me they would be attaching a roll bar.)

This is the vehicle that drives in front of you and makes you crazy because you can't see around it. This is the truck you hear before you see it coming. This is my son's dream. What's a mother to do?

I haven't seen Avery so excited about anything since...well...maybe ever. This is it for him.

It's so hard to continue to parent while balancing that line of "I support you and whatever you decide" and "are you nuts?! Have you thought this through?"

When they are little, you make all their decisions for them. Then, gradually, the scales tip the other way and they begin making all their own decisions...hopefully with your input, but ultimately, it's up to them.

My job is to love, encourage, support, teach where possible, and stand back. Whew...that stand back part is tough. Some of you already know this. You've been there.

I wonder how many times in our life God, our Father, who loves us like no other, stands back and hopes we make wise decisions? Sometimes shaking His head wondering "what are they thinking?"

I don't think Avery made an unwise choice. If you know my son, you know he's researched and studied and figured out exactly what he's doing before he does it. He's already told me the wheels and tires alone are worth what he paid for the whole truck. He knows what he's doing.

Let me just close by saying, I long for the little boy playing in the floor with his hot wheels. I ache for the sound of the big wheel tearing down the side walk. It seems like only yesterday we took him to buy his first big bike with his own money.

And now in front of my house sits a Chevy Truck taller than I...

It is possible to be very proud and very sad all in the same moment.