Let me share with you a phone conversation I had Friday night...
"Hello"
"Hello...is this the Henderson residence?"
"Yes it is."
"Is this Mrs. Henderson?" (honestly, you never get used to being called by your mother-in-law's name!)
"Yes it is"
"This is Chris Yeager"
"Hi Chris" (I didn't know who Chris Yeager was, but he said it like I should know so I acted like I did...)
"I'm with the Navy"
"................." (silence)
"Are you aware your son has inquired about the Navy?"
"................." (silence)
"Mrs. Henderson?"
"Uh, yes, I'm here..."
"Avery is only 16, correct?" (It totally unnerved me that he called him by his name!)
"YES!" (finally a question I could answer!)
"Well, Mrs. Henderson," (why does he keep calling me that?) "we can't talk to Avery without your permission until he is 17 and a senior." (Darn tootin' you can't!) "So, I would really like to set up an appointment with you and Mr. Henderson and Avery to show you all the things the Navy has to offer. We see Avery as someone with great potential."
"..........." (this man had actually rendered me speechless a few times)
"Mrs. Henderson? Can we set up an appointment? I'd just like to come over and talk with you and Mr. Henderson and Avery."
"Hold on just a minute. Can you? Do you mind holding on just a minute?"
"No problem, Mrs Henderson."
At his point I go running back to Avery's room...forgetting he had just left the house with his Dad to see his science teacher. I look at Ashley and say...
"Avery?"
"Mom! You o.k.?"
"Uh...ya. Nevermind. You're not Avery..."
"Hello? I forgot. Avery left to see his science teacher really quick. He programmed their rocket for a launch tomorrow and isn't able to go to the launch...so he went to show the teacher what needs to be done and how to run the program."
"He's showing the science teacher what to do?"
"Well..." I said quickly backpeddling..."he's not THAT smart! He just went to show him a program for the launch."
"So, Mrs. Henderson, do you support Avery's decision?" (What a loaded question! And just exactly what decision is he referring to?)
"............"
"Mrs. Henderson?"
"O.K." I finally said, "here's the deal. Avery is very smart."
"We know how smart Avery is, Mrs. Henderson" (YIKES!)
"....AND...I mean...BUT he is also very very sweet."
"I'm sure he is, Mrs. Henderson."
"What I mean is, Avery has unlimited potential to do whatever he wants to do. And I don't know what that will be, but whatever it is, he will be great at it! So, I don't know about this Navy stuff, but I'm sure whatever Avery decides to do, then yes, his father and I will support him...whatever that is." (I was rambling...)
"That's why we would like to talk to you. We see Avery as someone with unlimited potential, also. But we need your support. We want to show you everything the Navy has to offer."
At this point, I felt sick to my stomach.
This is the kid we never had to spank because just the raising of your voice would stop him. He HATES being yelled at...or talked to sternly. And if you think for one second I'm going to APPROVE and SUPPORT his going to a place where for the first six weeks they spend tearing you down after I've spent his whole life building and loving and supporting him to be the confident and capable young man he is today...YOU'RE CRAZY!
But...do I support my son? Absolutely.
Does it stink to be a parent? Sometimes it does.
I don't know what will happen in Avery's future...but Friday night I was reminded that God delivers these beautiful packages called children to our lives and lets us keep them around for a while...and then, they get to make their own decisions and follow their own dreams.
I just pray for wisdom as the strings are being loosed from yet another child. I hope I make it through all this letting go stuff.
Blessings.
"Hello"
"Hello...is this the Henderson residence?"
"Yes it is."
"Is this Mrs. Henderson?" (honestly, you never get used to being called by your mother-in-law's name!)
"Yes it is"
"This is Chris Yeager"
"Hi Chris" (I didn't know who Chris Yeager was, but he said it like I should know so I acted like I did...)
"I'm with the Navy"
"................." (silence)
"Are you aware your son has inquired about the Navy?"
"................." (silence)
"Mrs. Henderson?"
"Uh, yes, I'm here..."
"Avery is only 16, correct?" (It totally unnerved me that he called him by his name!)
"YES!" (finally a question I could answer!)
"Well, Mrs. Henderson," (why does he keep calling me that?) "we can't talk to Avery without your permission until he is 17 and a senior." (Darn tootin' you can't!) "So, I would really like to set up an appointment with you and Mr. Henderson and Avery to show you all the things the Navy has to offer. We see Avery as someone with great potential."
"..........." (this man had actually rendered me speechless a few times)
"Mrs. Henderson? Can we set up an appointment? I'd just like to come over and talk with you and Mr. Henderson and Avery."
"Hold on just a minute. Can you? Do you mind holding on just a minute?"
"No problem, Mrs Henderson."
At his point I go running back to Avery's room...forgetting he had just left the house with his Dad to see his science teacher. I look at Ashley and say...
"Avery?"
"Mom! You o.k.?"
"Uh...ya. Nevermind. You're not Avery..."
"Hello? I forgot. Avery left to see his science teacher really quick. He programmed their rocket for a launch tomorrow and isn't able to go to the launch...so he went to show the teacher what needs to be done and how to run the program."
"He's showing the science teacher what to do?"
"Well..." I said quickly backpeddling..."he's not THAT smart! He just went to show him a program for the launch."
"So, Mrs. Henderson, do you support Avery's decision?" (What a loaded question! And just exactly what decision is he referring to?)
"............"
"Mrs. Henderson?"
"O.K." I finally said, "here's the deal. Avery is very smart."
"We know how smart Avery is, Mrs. Henderson" (YIKES!)
"....AND...I mean...BUT he is also very very sweet."
"I'm sure he is, Mrs. Henderson."
"What I mean is, Avery has unlimited potential to do whatever he wants to do. And I don't know what that will be, but whatever it is, he will be great at it! So, I don't know about this Navy stuff, but I'm sure whatever Avery decides to do, then yes, his father and I will support him...whatever that is." (I was rambling...)
"That's why we would like to talk to you. We see Avery as someone with unlimited potential, also. But we need your support. We want to show you everything the Navy has to offer."
At this point, I felt sick to my stomach.
This is the kid we never had to spank because just the raising of your voice would stop him. He HATES being yelled at...or talked to sternly. And if you think for one second I'm going to APPROVE and SUPPORT his going to a place where for the first six weeks they spend tearing you down after I've spent his whole life building and loving and supporting him to be the confident and capable young man he is today...YOU'RE CRAZY!
But...do I support my son? Absolutely.
Does it stink to be a parent? Sometimes it does.
I don't know what will happen in Avery's future...but Friday night I was reminded that God delivers these beautiful packages called children to our lives and lets us keep them around for a while...and then, they get to make their own decisions and follow their own dreams.
I just pray for wisdom as the strings are being loosed from yet another child. I hope I make it through all this letting go stuff.
Blessings.
4 comments:
Mrs Henderson:
I don't know what I'd have done in your situation. Most probably I'd WANT to hang up, but not wanting to make all the decisions for my kid…
You all hang in there.
Mrs. Henderson...I can completely imagine you during this phone call! Great narration! I'll be praying.
Lots of love!
Amber
Mrs. Henderson:
It's a good thing that's the ONLY tough thing you went through that day. At least you weren't sending in your daughter's college audition dvd or, I don't know, taking your son to the DMV all on the same day.
Hmmm? What's that, Mrs. Henderson?
Mrs. Henderson:
Having grown up in a military family makes me proud of the fact that the Navy is wanting your son to be one of them.
Being a parent of a son makes me understand on an emotional level the mixed feelings you must have with such an honor.
May God bless all of you through this time.
For Randy - This elder would never yell at a minister. That is, unless he ________. Just kidding, that is, on the yelling part.
Side bar - My elder partner and I had a very "frank" discussion with our minister this past Sunday. We had lunch with each other today and he started to apologized for voicing his opinion so strongly. Before I could say it, Jeff told Don that we don’t want a “yes sir, no sir relationship” with him. All of us on the leadership team need to be able to share what they’re thinking without fear of reprisal.
Of course, not to mention the fact that in most of our churches, it’s only the ministers who have the formal training in Bible and ministry.
It’s true in our case since our minister has to put up with a lumber salesman and a middle school math teacher.
According to the wv the correct legal term for such a relationship is etigaly.
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