It's V.B.S. week!


What a wonderful, tiring, joyful, exhausting time we're having. All I can say is...

"God is amazing!"

He takes our selfish, goofy, imperfect hearts and offerings and turns them into an amazing tool to reach the souls of the children. I'm so grateful I have been here to see it. We've had 125+ kids each night and I only expect that number to grow.

It's humbling to see God work in such a powerful way. I will say what I say every day of my life...I'm so honored to be a tool. To be used by God...totally submissive to His will, is something that I've had to learn. It's not about me, it's about what God does through me.

I hope at some point, you all get to feel the reckless chaos of an over-the-top experience where joy just oozes out of every moment .

Last week, the pipes in the church backed up and we had a great flood from the sewer lines up through the vents of the older section of our building. There is detail I will spare you, however, the bottom line is...some rooms are closed due to biological hazardous material, some rooms were cleaned/disinfected, and some rooms were spared. We can't run the air conditioning because it's a "water-run" system and we can't run the water through the pipes until everything is cleaned out. And, according to the contractors/insurance adjuster/restoration people, that won't happen for a couple of weeks.

So...did I mention, this is V.B.S. "prep" week, and Vacation Bible School starts next Monday? The auditorium is being converted into a military camp. There is an aircraft carrier forming over about 20 pews...which will incorporate the sound booth area. (very large area) The stage area is a mountain range with rocks, tents, fox-holes, and look out towers. (The praise team will stand in the middle of it to lead worship this week.) The building is hopping with workers, builders, painters, and idea people.

The auditorium, after having no air, and many workers sweating and creating in there all afternoon and into the late night, smells like a locker room. (remember, no air conditioning).

Nothing has been easy...after things are built, they don't look quite like they had hoped, or, they actually fall apart and crumble causing the people to have to start from square one.

There have been personality conflicts, misunderstandings, and some health scares among a few of our congregation, including one of our precious pre-school children which we are, at this minute, waiting for a call from a Dr. to tell us things are or are not o.k.

Here is what I've decided...there must be something amazing that God has up his sleeve for this week...because Satan is trying with everything he has to distract us, discourage us, derail us.

The kids that come to this place next week will find a church full of adults wanting to act silly, play hard, tell stories, teach Jesus...all for them. What better thing do we have to do in the evening than that? For four evenings, we will work, sweat, laugh, sing, pray, & shepherd our children...because we love them... because He loves them.

I looked in on the workers a few minutes ago and the auditorium looks amazing. There are actual runway lights blinking down the aircraft carrier and water is being "built/added" to make it look just like it's in the middle of the ocean. Absolutely amazing. The stage is unrecognizable. The kids will be overwhelmed at the work that has gone into this. I know I am.

Pray for the children. Pray that their hearts will be touched in a positive, permanent way...

By the way...while writing that last line, the Daddy of our little health scare came in and said the Dr called...the mass they removed from his son's neck was benign. He is fine.

God...You are so good.

Grateful

My heart is particularly grateful this morning for a number of things...

It's such a wonderful feeling to be peaceful and content. I've not always experienced that feeling.

I struggled for many years feeling like I didn't have enough, hadn't achieved enough, wasn't smart or pretty or talented enough. Often afraid that if people really knew me, they would discover I was a fraud. What they saw on the outside was just a facade...an illusion. They would find I wasn't all I was trying to make them believe I was.

I think, unfortunately, the discovery of your own worth often comes with age...and I am sad to say, I'm beginning to experience the benefits of age. The good news is, there really is a benefit to growing older. The bad news is, I'm growing older.

So, this morning, here is what I'm grateful for.

I'm grateful for a husband that I've loved in a marriage that has lasted through very good and some bad times for 18 years...knowing we can say we love each other more today than yesterday...but not as much as tomorrow.

I'm grateful for a son who successfully celebrated his 16th birthday this weekend. When asked what he wanted to do for that milestone of a day his wish was to be at Grandma's house with family eating Bar-B-Que Hamburgers, Baked Beans, Hot Rod Fries (potato wedges baked with bacon and cheese melted on top!), Home Made Vanilla Ice Cream and a Triple Layer Chocolate Cake with Whip Cream Filling and Chocolate Fudge icing on top! It was a wonderful time as we all sat under a huge Mulberry Tree in my Mom's back yard eating and laughing and celebrating Avery's life.

I'm grateful for a daughter who is strong and sweet and compassionate and beautiful. Who when given the opportunity to go to a popular Graduation Party Saturday night, chose to be with family to celebrate her brother's birthday.

I'm grateful that our days have been cool and beautiful.

I'm grateful I can pay my bills.

I'm grateful I have an abundance of friends/family who love me.

I'm grateful there are so many people who love and encourage and guide my children.

But most of all, I'm grateful today that God loves me...that He wants above all to have a relationship with me...Me...such a sinner. That Jesus trusted and obeyed God so much so that it took Him to a horrible, humiliating death...for me. That we are left with the beautiful gift of the Holy Spirit...who guides and directs and shapes and molds us.

I am so grateful...

If, sixteen years ago, I had been able to have a conversation with God I would have said this...

"O.K., God. You know I already have a 17 month old baby girl. You understand, of course, that she takes up an enormous amount of energy. You see, I'm sure, that Lex and I aren't wealthy and some months don't quite know how to make ends meet. So, if you still insist on blessing us with another baby, here's what I would like...

I want him to be a him. I already have a her. I want him to be good. Quiet. Easy. Sweet. Gentle. I want him to be smart...intelligent...an asset to the minds he will study and work with. Good looking never hurt in this crazy world. I want his handsome face to glow because of a sweet smile and a gentle heart, not because he's stuck on himself. I want him to have not only a physical strength, but an inner strength as well. Confident of who he is and who he belongs to.

And above all, I want him to serve you in all that he does. Whatever it is. Lead him...mold him...create a man who will honor you all of his days on earth."

And God gave us Avery. Happy Birthday, Avery. You are a blessing to all you come in contact with.

Live What I Believe!

I was lecturing Ashley about going to Summer School without something to eat first. It helps your brain, metabolism,...etc, etc. This is an ongoing conversation we have been having recently.

I picked her up yesterday and she exclaimed that she was starving! You have to understand that this is a girl who loves drama and the ability to express yourself in big ways. So her expressions of hunger rivaled any Tony or Academy Award winning actress.

She had left home, again, without eating and had endured a 5 hour Economics class. (Is that really necessary? 5 hours of Economics?)

I was tired of listening to her complain and said...

"You know, you're not the only hungry one here...you're just the only one complaining about it...I haven't had a chance to stop and eat at all today!"

"AAh Haa!" she exclaimed! "You don't eat either! Don't tell me to do things you don't do yourself!"

Stupid kids...the truth is, I started laughing. What a great lesson for me. Plain and simple.

I know this is simplistic, but we can't expect anyone, (especially our kids) to do what we say and not what we do...right?

Our kids, our friends, our co-workers,...the world is watching us to see if what we say is what we believe.

It has been such a long time since I've "blogged". I'm sorry.

One of my greatest weaknesses, I believe, is that when the going gets tough, (or busy) I retreat. I crawl in my cave and barely do what needs to be done to survive. Anybody relate to that or am I just a weird duck?

Yesterday, my husband looked at me with tears in his eyes and quietly said..."I don't know how to do this. I don't know what to do."

He had been working sound for worship, teaching children during class time, racing out to get to the shop to sell motorcycles, and then home for the evening. We were supposed to go to one of our friends house for a "hang-out" time. So, in the 30 minutes we had in between those things he looked so sad about something. What...I didn't have a clue.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Tomorrow. I haven't had a chance to do anything about tomorrow. I've had absolutely no time when things are open."

"I still don't know what you're talking about." I admitted.

"Tomorrow" he said patiently. "Yeah, tomorrow...what about it?" I said impatiently.

"Sandra, it's our anniversary."

"Oh."

He started laughing and said how we are opposite of most couples. I'm the one who forgets dates and times...he's the sensitive thoughtful one who remembers.

I assured him that he didn't need to worry about it. We had enough to think about this week.

Both kids went straight from regular school to summer school. By their own choice. They both wanted to get a class out of the way so they would have more room next year for things they want/need to take.

Our sweet Avery turns 16 on Thursday. Yikes. Only old people have a 16 and 17 year old!

And, of course, Father's Day is Sunday. I won't forget that.

I miss my Dad. I'm glad he doesn't have to deal with this world any longer, but I still miss him.

So...maybe my turtle head will crawl slowly out of it's shell this week and get back to the business of life.

I appreciate those of you who read my writings. And, I appreciate any comments you make. It's nice to know you're being heard, isn't it?

If you get a chance, check out Brady Smith's blog.

www.evendays.blogspot.com

He's our missionary to Switzerland. He's a man of great character and integrity. I'm proud to claim him. He, like me, is a product of the College Church. There are so many who invested much in my generation to make us men and women of God.

Don't forget that when the sign up list comes around needing teachers for V.B.S. or Sunday morning children's classes! You can make such a difference in the mind, the character, the heart of a child.

Blessings.

I knew this day would come...

As silly as this sounds, I've actually thought about this day off and on since both kids started school. I knew it would bother me. I avoided thinking too deeply about it. But...here it is. The day I say...

I have a Junior and Senior in High School. UUGGGHHH!!

I was at the grocery store yesterday...it was the last day of school for Avery. The grocery clerk was talking about her kids. 5 and 7. "Do you have any kids?" she asked. "Yes...2 kids...they will be a Junior and Senior in High School."

"Yikes..."she said, "you don't look that old." "Thanks". (I think)

Why does this year bother me? Probably some who read this will understand, others will think I'm nuts, but this is my last year of normal parenthood with both my kids at home.

I know, I know...God just loans you these precious souls so you can raise them to honor and serve Him and their fellow man...they're really His to begin and end with. I know all that...

But you see, I adore them. I mean, I absolutely adore them. And deep in my heart is the beginning of an ache I don't know how I will survive. The ache of absence.

Say what you will. I'm silly...God will prepare me...blah, blah, blah. I know all that.

I also know I couldn't be more proud of those two people.
I'm honored to be their mother.

I'm going to ask/plead with God to slow down time...just for this one year.