Was It Enough?

Such a disturbing conversation with my husband last night.

Kids had retreated to their rooms for the night. We were all tired. Maybe even a little grumpy?

I was talking about the things I want and how I want them and who I want to do what. I know. Probably doesn't make any sense to you, but to me, it was perfectly clear!

My sweet husband is the one who, when faced with conflict, will usually decide that fighting, or yelling, or disagreeing is unnecessary. He will let you say whatever you want, then will walk away. Sweetly. I hate that! I want to duke it out. "C'mon...give me your best shot" is what I think in my head because I'm a fixer of all situations. Not tomorrow, not next week, not even an hour from now. Right now!

So, when I was saying how things needed to go with these adult children in our home and how I wanted everybody to do exactly what I wanted them to do and act exactly like I thought they should act, he said this:

"We're done, honey. We've done it all for them. We've raised them and loved them and given them the tools to be who they are going to be. But, they are adults. Now, we step back and watch them and love them from a distance. We can't nag them or tell them what to do. If they don't know by now, we failed."

"WHAT!?!" "Obviously your medication is making you a crazy man", is what I wanted to say to him.

But in the early morning light, as I wrestled with his words all night long, I realize he is right. What a hard moment for a Mom. Such intense love and planning and wisdom and work has gone towards these two beautiful children for 20 years...and now, I'm done? Did I forget anything? What else do I need to tell them? Was it enough?

I know any mother would tell you you're never really "done", but it's time to let go. Boy that's hard. I really want to make sure they don't make a bad decision. I want to protect them from what I know will come if they take a certain road. I want to shield them from pain and hurt. I want to make them do what I think they should do. Isn't that silly?

I will always see them as my sweet babies. I will never really "get it" that they are grown adults.

But, I will try...

Blessings