Psalm 139

Some of the message yesterday centered around Psalm 139.

As I prepared for Sunday, I read this Psalm through many times. Each time, I think a different verse popped up as my favorite at the moment.

However, the overwhelming favorite for the week was v. 17.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God. They cannot be numbered!


God thinks about me...How cool is that?!

What verse blesses you in that particular Psalm?

anonymous

I received a comment on my last post that came from an anonymous "friend".

I started thinking about what it would be like to go through life anonymously. Would I act any differently? Would I say things that I normally keep to myself? Maybe...but I hope not.

Christianity is, as you all know, a lifestyle. Not an occupation. It's who we are, not what we do. It's something that we live and breath and struggle with on a daily basis because of the humans we are...and the choices our gracious God has allowed us to have.

We are going through a time of choosing new elders for our church. I'm very excited about a few of the men being nominated, and quite reserved about some others. But the bottom line is, God is in charge and has a plan for this church. I'm not quite clear on the method that will be used to allow the church to "vote" (very bad term but you get what I'm saying) yes or no for an elder candidate, but I've heard we may allow anonymous comments as long as there aren't scriptural sitings against the candidate. If you have a scriptural basis for not wanting someone to take the role of Elder, you must sign your form.

I'm worried about the anonymous thing. If I have a reason I believe this person isn't qualified, or at least brings question in my mind, shouldn't I go to that person and talk about it? Aside from scriptural reasons, isn't there room to have a conversation where God is the center and honest concerns can be raised? But, if I were to be totally honest with you, I would admit that I probably will avoid that conflict if I know it will cause some kind of "thing" between me and the persons I'm concerned about.

So, for now, I've changed my blog settings to no longer allow anonymous comments, and I'll continue praying about my opportunity to share honest, non-anonymous concerns with my brothers.

Blessings.

When Does It Feel Normal?

There are moments that I miss those two kids so very much it actually aches...physically aches.

There were split seconds as Lex and I drove away from them toward the Dallas airport that I would turn to him and say, "my heart just cracked...really, it cracked. Did you hear it?"

There is this void in my life that I can't quite get used to, and yet, I know it's right. I know it's God's plan. I know it's happening in a beautiful way.

What I desire more than anything else for my children is that they follow God's plan, whatever that is, even if it doesn't fall in line with my plan. Because the only way I survive the horrible 1400 mile distance between us is to know, without a doubt, God has them in the palm of His hands. He is their guide, their hope, their rock. Why would I want anything different?

Yesterday, when Ash called to say "hi" after church, I told her Sunday was the worst day for my aching heart. I didn't know why, and she responded that on Sunday, we were all together the whole day. Getting to church early together, worshiping together, eating lunch together, laughing, watching movies, napping...together. So, of course that would be the day I missed them most.

So, yesterday, when one of my favorite people got up to lead a prayer for communion, I felt that silly lump in my throat that comes without warning. Not because it was communion, but because it was somebody my son has had a life long sweet friendship with. Because I can see them as 3 year old, 9 year old, 13 year old...together, building boats to go in the swimming pool, running through sprinklers together, hanging out after church together, building forts. All these memories come flooding through my mind at the most inopportune moments!

And now, this handsome, grown up, young man is leading the church in communion, and my boy is far away. (I know this may be the part where Brady comments something like "you're such a mess".)

I'm waiting for their absence to feel like the new normal. I wonder how long that will take?

Blessings!

Being Judged!

Being Judged is an awful thing... None of us like to have someone look at us or our life or our family and make a decision about us that sometimes is incorrect.

I am one of those people who rarely do things that I am not sure about, simply because I don't want people to be able to look at me or my actions and say, "what a fool! what was she thinking?" I prefer the safe route. However, sometimes that becomes boring.

So, when I decided to enter some photographs into the little Fresno Fair, you can understand my reservations. This is a big step for me...I'm taking quite a chance in this!

People I don't know, who don't know me, but seem to know a lot about photography, are going to look at what I bring them and decide whether it is worthy. Is this good enough to even be exhibited, much less receive some kind of ribbon?

At this point, I'm just hoping at least one of the four entries get into the exhibit itself. I don't care about ribbons...yet.

So, I'll let you know. And, you understand, don't you?...how much of a risk I took, knowing my personality and the way I despise failure, that I shared this with you at all? Right?

I could have just said nothing, and then when the pictures do get into the exhibit, we could rejoice together...or when they are declined, I wouldn't even have to tell you.

Blessings!

Bucket-O-Snakes

Our "Ladies Day" is Saturday morning at church. This consists of a morning of beautiful women, singing, brunching, listening, praying, laughing and lunching.

This year, for reasons I'm not positive, someone is posing as "Eve", and needed a snake to finish off her outfit.

My Avery had many snakes throughout his young life. Some we "snake-sat" during school vacations, but most are rubber or this very cool technique using wood which makes these fake snakes look very alive.

So, I started looking in his closet for the Bucket-O-Snakes.

Avery is a saver. A saver of Tonka Trucks, Lego's, Fire Trucks, Thunder Loop Tracks (I can still hear him saying "Thunder Loop" with his sweet young voice), Hot Wheels, and robots. His closet is full of these things as well as his Architectural Drawings from High School, his DVD's (MacGyver, My Name Is Earl, Dukes of Hazzard), stacks of magazines, and of course, clothes.

He not only saves, he takes care of. So, these things from years gone by are in as good a shape today as they were when he received them.

Lex was brave enough to climb in the closet and search for the popcorn tin holding the snakes, and as he opened it, we discovered more saved items. Not only snakes, but military patches from his Grandpa, his Dad's old Class B license from 15 years ago, and notes. Piles of notes. Notes Lex and I had written on little pieces of paper and stuck in the lunch box. Notes that said, "I love you", "Have a Great Day", "Praying for your spelling Test", "Can't wait to see you after school", "You are precious to me"...as well as countless other little things.

We think, as parents, we need to keep up with the latest things not only for ourselves, but for our kids. We need to make sure we provide them with everything they not only need to survive, but need to succeed. As I looked through that bucket, I realized there wasn't much $ worth attached to it, but the worth of my son becoming an amazing young man is there. There are representations from many people in his life who loved him unconditionally and believed in him at every turn.

That bucket is invaluable.

We all have a bucket...Are you filling them with goodness?

Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

This is the view from the "garden roof top" level of the hotel Lex and I stayed in on Sunday night.

Lex gets very few days off, particularly two days in a row, so we took advantage of this new "empty nester" phase and the Monday holiday (which happened to be my birthday, also!) and took off out of town after church Sunday.

Fresno had 100+ degree temps and the coast stayed at an even 65 degrees. Aahhh....heaven!

Constant 65 degree temps...free of charge!
Discovering an amazing bowl of clam chowder...$8.95
Receiving Happy Birthday phone calls from my kids and a quiet weekend with my husband...Priceless!

Blessings!