If you were with me in the summer, you will remember me posting about the "garden" the young children of the church planted. This is the garden nearing the end of October. It's beautiful! It went from being an ignored part of our church plant to a beautiful focal point when people drive by.

God's creation continues to amaze me. Over and over, no matter how old I get, I am amazed at the earth and her function and formation. Many of these flowers will need to go to seed soon. It will be getting cold and the garden will take on a "winter" look. But, how exciting to think of what it will be again, in the Spring!

Blessings!

Random Thoughts

This is random...
BUT, it's my blog so I'm allowed to be random, right?

When I went to Texas to pick up my girl from school, she told me during an "outing" that we had to "make a stop". No problem...

I waited in the truck as instructed and out she came with this plate. It was mother's day weekend, and during Finals Prep, and Finals Week, she had found time to go paint this plate for me.

If you're a Mom, you know the sweetness of this gift. I couldn't let just anything go on this plate, so, I waited until I had made what I thought were beautiful cookies to go on the beautiful plate. The best thing about it is that when the cookies are gone, instead of being sad, it's a joy to see that sweet "LOVE" painted in the corner.

The cookies were good, but there's nothing sweeter than that plate.

Blessings.

Relationships

One of the things I'm most grateful for in this life are relationships.

Relationships that have developed over time, some beautiful, some difficult, many eternal, all a blessing.

I've already posted about my sweet daughter being so far from home and very ill...but I haven't told you "THE THING" that pulled me personally through that time.

I was in Nashville working the ZOE Conference and as always, found it to be wonderful, as well as exhausting. Imagine being thrown in a situation that requires your total attention from early morning until late at night. Non-stop...and at the same time, listening to your baby girl on the phone sound like someone you've never met before because she is so sick.

I slept very little because once I finally got to the hotel, I just laid there thinking about my sick girl. Wondering what in the world I should do. Should I change my flight and go to her?

If I were a millionaire, there would have been no question. But I'm not...so every dollar counts...

The pharmacy wouldn't give her the meds she needed because she had lost her insurance card when her purse was stolen. They wouldn't let me give her my "numbers" over the phone to pay for the meds because they have to swipe the card personally.

I finally asked to please speak to the pharmacist...

"Look", I said. "I don't know if you have children, but my baby is standing in front of you and is very sick. She desperately needs this medicine. I am a very long way from her and would like to pay for this medicine if you will please take this card number over the phone."

She put me on hold and as I sat quietly on the other end praying, I realized how much is out of my control...again.

She came back and agreed to break "policy" and allow me to pay the almost $500 bill with a card over the phone. Thank you!

That night, Lex and I talked about me changing my flight home so I could head to Abilene when we stopped in Dallas, instead of Fresno. I had one last idea. I believe I had help thinking of this because quite frankly, I wasn't thinking clearly at all.

I called a lady I've met maybe twice. "Ms Sharpie" is the name the girls from the Ko-Jo-Kai club call her. She is a precious older lady...a past Kojie herself. She attends the church with Ashley, and one of her main tasks is to take care of those girls.

I found her number and through a shaky voice told her about my girl and how sick she was...and did she think she might be able to go look in on her and let me know if I needed to come.

She reprimanded me for not calling sooner, told me how much she thought of my girl, and said she'd get right on it. And she did. She checked...and then she called me back... Here's what she said:

"Now Mama!?" (imagine in a beautiful seasoned Texan tone), "I've checked on our girl. She's sick alright...but she's gonna be fine. I don't want you to come. I don't want you to worry. I'm on it and I will continue to take care of her until she's well. I will take her to my house if I need to! I will call you often and let you know how she is. But don't come. I've got her now."

As I listened to this precious lady tell me what's what...I thought of how stupid I was for not calling sooner. Didn't even think about it. Just tried to handle it myself. Through tears I thanked her and she again assured me everything was going to be fine.

Isn't it amazing? This community we have throughout the world...all because of Jesus Christ.

I am so grateful...

Restless

There are times when I struggle for a full night of sleep.

I'm not one who has trouble going to sleep initially, but STAYING asleep is another story.

I wake up about every 1.5 to 2 hours. Every night. Stay awake for a while and then finally drift off again until I wake again a couple hours later. I rarely go a night without seeing midnight, 2:30-ish, 4:40 ish...

I'm a person who struggles with worry. My brain won't shut off. My heart won't stop pounding over things I can't control but worry about any way.

Some may say my faith isn't strong enough. Some may think I'm not trusting God. I don't know...maybe "they" are right...

I have decided, though, that if I'm going to be awake, I might as well relax and enjoy it. So, I've basically started having conversations with God that last all night long. They start when I first go to sleep, and just continue throughout the night in 2 hour intervals.

I never run out of things to say. Just to praise Him for all He has done would take a lifetime.

I still worry, I wonder, I question, I fret over things I can't control or change. But, God is there...every time I wake in a panic. He's there. I'm so grateful.

Psalm 5:11-12
But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever.
Protect them, so all who love your name may be filled with joy.
For you bless the godly, O Lord, surrounding them with your shield of love.

Sick

When I was a young mother, with young children, I thought there was nothing worse than to see those babies sick. I remember feeling helpless when they had a flu or terrible bug of some sort. You do what you can to make them feel better, but ultimately, it's just a difficult time to watch and feel helpless.

I have decided that there is a feeling that is just as bad, if not worse.

Being an OLD mother with grown children who are very ill.

Last week, while at the ZOE Conference in Nashville, I realized my girl was very sick. I have never felt quite so helpless, and even a little angry because I couldn't get to her. I've been listening to her for a couple weeks deteriorate in health because she wouldn't/couldn't stop and rest and get well. (she gets that from her father!)

Finally, her body took over and she went to the Dr. to find she had ear, nose, throat infections, along with bronchitis and OH!, is that a touch of wheezing/fluid in your lung?

After hours of struggling with the pharmacist to provide the medication, (they weren't wanting to give her the medicine because when her purse was stolen, so was her insurance card!) and a shot of antibiotic as well as a steroid shot, she finally had what she needed to begin recovery.

Yes, so my deduction is that when they are babies, at least you get to be with them and hold them while they are sick. This grown up thing stinks. But, I guess I don't have a choice but to get used to it!

Blessings!