Oceano Dunes

It is difficult to tell you all that happened this weekend...

First, we were pushing it to make it in time to connect with the folks renting us the trailer.

Then, after getting there, we had to be pulled into the soft sand by not one, but two trucks. Our truck is 2 wheel drive and with the flat bed attached it could make it on the hard pack, but the soft sand was another story.

So, we get back there and the only truck that could get in and out was Avery's. Who, by the way, never got stuck once! I learned trailer living and actually enjoyed having no place to go and no way to get there even if I had wanted to. I finished my book (East of Eden...Steinbeck...great book!) and enjoyed some close quality time with my daughter.

The boys spent hour upon hour far back in the Dunes. Avery connected with some very nice guys he has met through an on line 4x4 club. These guys were sent from heaven, because when it came time to leave, they had to pull us and our trailer out of the soft sand.

I learned so much about camping. I learned you have to "air down" your tires on the soft sand and then air back up when you get on pavement or your tires will "fold".

I learned how to conserve water. I learned to actually enjoy the sounds of quads, sand rails, trucks, ATV's of all kind. I learned not to jump out of my skin every time a "not-so-legal" firework explodes while I'm enjoying my campfire...oh, I learned to build a killer camp fire and make s'mores. I learned that a hot dog tastes best, I mean wonderfully delicious, after being roasted over a campfire that you've built.

I learned to have an enormous respect for my son and all he is capable of...not because of his father and I, but just because he's taught himself much.

I learned that my daughter is a beautiful and sweet sister who is willing to be a little uncomfortable as long as her brother is having a blast.

I learned again, how precious my family is to me. There's nobody in the world I'd rather be with than those three people.

It was a wonderful weekend.

What a blessing to have new adventures and experiences to share with people you love!

Soaking it Up!

I'm still here...
It's been quite a while since I blogged, but remember, Randy Wray says there's no guilt in blogland.

I've been soaking up every minute with my fun kids. I love having my sweet daughter home and I'm trying to look at Avery as someone who is ready to leave the nest. I'm not convinced, but he'll be fine. He's an amazing, caring, capable young man. I'm just really going to miss both of them.

Remember those games you've played where you use the little sand timers? Don't you remember that when it gets close to the end, the sand seems to run at the speed of light? That's what it feels like. We're coming to the end of the summer, and the sand is running out on my time with them!

We are going camping this weekend on the dunes. I'm going to pause here for those of you who know me well, so you can read that sentence one more time... Yes, I'm going camping.

Some say it's not camping until you're in a tent with no electricity...I say it's camping if I'm in a trailer on the sand with no outlets. So, I'll see if there are any pictures I'm willing to let you see next week when we get back...but, I'm looking forward to a new adventure with my gang. The Ocean, Sand, Avery driving his truck on the dunes, a good book, and S'Mores. What isn't fun about that?

Bless You...

Here it Comes!

We are taking care of some friend's cats/home while they are away for a few weeks. They have two temperamental cats (is there any other kind of cat?) and a beautiful home and a pool...

So, Sunday night, the four of us went over to feed the kitties and then enjoy the swimming pool together. It was relaxing and fun and peaceful.

BUT...while we were all lounging in the pool, it hit me how soon these days would be gone. My mind went racing to the moment I have to say good bye and walk away and come back home without either of my children. I've done well, so far. Last year this time, I had cried a million times already...but, I thought this year, I was all grown up and ready...NOPE!

Lex looked at me and said, "babe?...uh-oh...Mom's losin' it!"

I cried and cried. I totally lost it. Crying and crying and finding myself in the depths of sadness.

My family started laughing. My crying was so dramatic, it even made me laugh. So, we laughed and I cried and we laughed more. It was crazy and good all at the same time.

Avery asked me why I was crying and I couldn't even form a sentence, which made them laugh more. So, we spent minutes laughing and crying...together. (me crying...them laughing)

July 1 is when the tears started...better than last year! I had been crying since the Thanksgiving prior to taking her to school. Maybe if I'd had a few more kids...by the time I got to the 4th or 5th one, I would only cry the moment I walked away...or maybe not at all! Nah....who am I trying to fool!?

Blessings!

Thanks, God!

O.K. It's a fuzzy pic, but our local Fresno State Bulldogs are loved by many in this town.

Now, for the point...

Do you have moments when you just close your eyes and smile and say, "thanks, God". Maybe it's something small, unimportant to those around you, but to you it's a recognizable blessing.



As most of you know, my two children will be leaving in about 8 weeks to attend Abilene Christian University in Texas.


Ashley loved her first year, and is even more excited this year as she is bringing a great big "show and tell"...her brother.

They are close and loving and very good to each other...of which I am so grateful.

I don't have any idea how I may handle that day...the day I drive away and leave my two babies 1411 miles away from me...


Recently, 4 big, hungry, sweet boys moved into a house right on the corner. They are 3 Fresno State football players and 1 roper. We have met, I have made them cookies, and we are now good friends.

I love that just at the point my focus of nurturing is leaving, another group is dropped right in my lap...or neighborhood in this case.


So, they've had cookies, chicken strips, mashed potatoes, cheesy bread, pork chops, rice, and ice cream sandwiches sent to them in various order. They love the attention ... I love the opportunity.


However, if coach shows up at my door and tells me I need to stick with their strict diet (which I've heard they have), I'll have to abide. I don't want to hurt the team!


Thanks, God!

Blessings...

Mercy, Grace and the Beauty of God's Hand

I'm sure you've all experienced the vision of looking back at a situation and realizing how beautiful God was to you and how He carried you through...even when things looked hopeless.

I've had a couple (nothing too traumatic, thankfully) of times like that.

It always amazes me to remember what I was feeling, how I felt hopeless, the light at the end of the tunnel was nowhere in sight. And then, to see where God has led you, is the sweetness of it all.

It's Saturday, June 23, and I'm sitting in my office listening to Christmas music. If we are to present a musical in December, we begin rehearsals in late Sept/early Oct. Which means by July/August, I need to have chosen, ordered and learned all the parts myself. It is important that I know this thing front to back, having bathed it in lots of prayer, and hours of listening.

Back to the first part of my blog.

Last year, this time, I was very sick. Constantly in the Dr office. Never enough energy to complete a whole day. Rested all day Saturday just to be able to handle my Sunday morning tasks. Sad, discouraged, feeling hopeless.

A shot every day, blood tests every three days, pills, more pills, different pills, new tests...no answers.

I still don't know exactly what is/was wrong with me for those months... But I do know this. God was there. Every step.

When I sat in the Dr's office, He was beside me. When I left one "specialist" with no new answers and sat in my truck and cried, He was there. When I had to have a chair beside me at all times because I couldn't stand for more than a couple of minutes, I could feel His hand. When I saw no hope, no help, no answers, I saw Him. "Trust me," I kept hearing. And all I could do was lay down and cry and say..."O.K. I trust You..."

So, today, when I've put in long hours and I'm still going strong...sitting in my office listening to a magnificent musical that I can't wait to present, I realize what a contrast it is to last year this time.

My post today is to say that whatever is going on, Praise God. If there is tragedy, He's there. If there is joy, He is there. If there's confusion, or discouragement, or personal relationship difficulties, the Lord is in our midst. He is here among us...and He will carry us through it all. Praise God.

Graduation 2007

O.k...there were a few tears, but for the most part, smiles. Lots and lots of smiles. Congratulations Avery! You are an amazing young man and I feel so blessed to be your Mom. Happy Day!!

Matthew 6:33

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (King James Version)
"The thing you should want most is God's kingdom and doing what God wants. Then all these other things you need will be given to you." (New Century Version)
"And he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." (New Living Translation)

I love the last translation of that particular verse. It's one of my favorites and rolls around in my head constantly...

I've made sack lunches for my children for approximately 12 years. Every once in a while, they wanted "hot lunch" but usually a day of that and they were ready for the sack lunch the next day. During their later elementary years, I decided to put a note in their lunch to encourage them in whatever that day held. It was a wonderful thing for me, and hopefully they have enjoyed it. Their Dad would write the note sometimes and was far more creative than I. He would draw them pictures or give them puzzles to solve. I just wrote things like "Stay focused on your spelling test, remember I love you, and you're precious to me." No pics, just a heart with the word "Mom" beside it.

Today the Seniors checked out of school...so, yesterday was the official end to my lunch making career. (Although Avery reminded me he's working this summer and wouldn't mind a lunch now and then.) But yesterday morning, I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say in that final school brown bag lunch. What's the one thing I want my children to know and hold on to. So much ran through my head until finally, I decided on the Matthew 6:33 verse. If, throughout this life, our children learn to put the Kingdom of God first, knowing in faith that what they need will be provided because of our Father's mercy and grace, isn't that a great thing?

So, I wrote that verse, along with the usual "I'm very proud of the man you are becoming and I love you with all my heart..." signed the card with my little heart and "Mom", and slipped it in the lunch on top of the peanut butter sandwich, some applesauce, and a bottle of water. I closed up the lunch and prayed that my boy would always seek the Kingdom of God first, above all else. Cried just a little, and went to my room to get ready for work.

Blessings...

Graduation Week

It's difficult to believe but Graduation Week is here!



I remember the little boy I took to Kindergarten. I can see him in my mind just like it was yesterday. I remember the award he received graduating from Elementary School because he was kind and good to everyone.



I can see the people at Computech Middle School telling us parents that they would love and protect and teach our children to their very best ability. I can see a particular teacher giving me comfort when I was nervous about letting him be in a magnet school on the "bad" side of town...



I remember the first time he talked to me about his Rocket Projects. It was then I learned to smile and nod and say things like, "wow, you're really smart", or "wow, you're doing amazing things" or "wow, I'm so proud of you"...because I truly didn't understand a word he was saying.



I remember the first day he drove his truck to school after getting his license. I texted him on his phone to make sure he had arrived safely and was worried all day until I heard his truck drive in.



And now, it's time to graduate from this and move on to something even bigger. It really does seem like yesterday. Such bitter sweet thoughts. One the one hand, my heart breaks to think about him leaving and going to ACU. To not have him home with me is such a sad thing. And yet, my heart is full of joy and pride as I watch the man he is becoming.



I know life gets busy. I know you get irritated with little things. I know children can be trying. But, in the blink of an eye, things change. So, enjoy each moment. Don't sweat the small stuff. Build each other up every chance you get.



I imagine I'll have a tear or two as I watch my boy cross the stage to receive his diploma. But I would guess I still have many days ahead to say things like, "wow, you're really smart" or "wow, you're doing amazing things" or "wow, I'm so proud of you".



Blessings

Sweet Hour of Prayer

Many of you know Stephen Bailey and have already heard the sad news that he lost his nephew, Connor, in an automobile accident last night...(Monday)

His niece, Bailey, was airlifted to a hospital where she survived surgery that helped repair many broken and shattered bones. Bailey was/is headed to ACU in the fall...had just graduated from High School.

As I read the email from my friend telling me of this tragedy, my heart felt empty. My stomach began to turn. My head felt light. Physically, I was becoming sick at this news that I knew was so devastating to my friend, Stephen and his family.

My son was outside washing his truck. Lex was there chatting with him. My daughter was on the phone with one of her very best friends laughing that deep, sweet laugh that only comes from genuine acceptance and unconditional love of a long time friend.

I went to her bedroom and said, "hang up...call them back...we need to pray." I went to the front screen door and told the boys, "come in here...we need to pray..."

As I shared with them quickly what had happened, they came running to be part of a tiny circle of prayer for this family. We stood in our entry way, hands clasped together, forming what I think is the most powerful tool we have as Christians. Prayer...

What is important at the moment becomes ridiculous in light of such tragedy. When you know the deep wounds of a brother and sister, your helplessness becomes strength through prayer.

I ask you all to pray for this family. For Stephen and his family (the Bailey's) and for his sister and brother-in-law (Tod and LeeAnn Brown) at the loss of one child and the recovery of another.

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

Mother's Day

This post is overdue, however, one of the most fun things we did on our Texas adventure was take in a Rangers/Angels game on Mother's Day.

I had found a couple of things for us to do on that day that I thought my Mom would enjoy. The Fort Worth Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth with a 200 per choir and various soloists. The Dallas Symphony had a Tschaikovsky day which would have been beautiful also. But, when my mom found out that the Angels were playing the Rangers, there was no questions which event she wanted to take in for Mother's Day.

We had a blast. Wonderful seats. Very intimate park...almost any seat would be good, but ours were very good. We had a Hot, Humid, Sweat dripping very good time. It was hot to begin with, but then, as often happened while we were in Texas, clouds blew in and thunder rolled and the rain came quickly...and then it was gone and all that was left was the humidity.

I sat between my mom and my daughter. Mom cheered for the Angels, Ash cheered for the Rangers, and I cheered for both.

Forget the flowers and tea and "foo-foo" for my mom...just bring on a little healthy competition out in the heat and she's happy.

Blessings!

Home Sweet Home

So good to be home.

We had a wonderful time, but there's nothing like being home again.

Ashley said she was sore from sleeping so hard in her bed...I felt the same way this morning. There's nothing like the "familiar" to make you sleep good.

My favorite part was getting up early and looking in each of the bedrooms and seeing the little lumps in the bed. In both rooms...

I will enjoy this for a couple of months, and then I will be sad. But for today, I feel blessed to have both my sweet children home for a short while...

Blessings.

Dorm Life

I've been in Abilene for a few days now...since Tuesday. And yes, I'm still dizzy because my glasses are not right. I was told it takes a while to get used to glasses which I knew, because I've worn them before. But, these are just plain wrong. I don't know where the "wrongness" occurred (sorry Wendy), but they are wrong.

Vision problems aside, I have had a wonderful time. I've been living in an empty dorm room across the hall from my baby girl. My mom came with me, so Ash has both Mom and Grandma to take care of! Bless!

ACU is one of the most amazing places I've visited. The first morning, Ashley took us all around the campus. If you ever have the chance to come visit, do. This place has God all over it. Every corner, every prayer room, every piece of art, every peace garden, every classroom.

And, with some new grant money, it's even green with flowering plants and many new trees planted! It really is beautiful, which I don't remember it being last summer when I dropped Ashley off.

There are so many stories, so many students, so many hearts searching for God. I'm proud of my daughter...and, as I'm preparing to lose my son to ACU in a couple of months, there is a peace knowing what kind of place this is.

It's after midnight. I just polished off a Hershey bar with almonds as I sit in her room and blog while she studies for her 8 am final. Grandma finally gave up and went to bed about 11:45...she's a pretty cool grandma!

I've prayed for so many things for my children...health, safety, Godly mates, happy hearts. But my constant prayer has been that they seek and hear the voice of God in their lives. That they desire a deep relationship with their Creator, and that they live a life of service within the Kingdom.

I'm a good mama...Lex is a wonderful father. But there comes a time when even the best parents must pass that baton on to someone else to continue developing their children's hearts. I'm happy to pass that baton to this place...however, I'll never stop praying.

Blessings.

One Eyed and Dizzy

I had an irritation in my eye on Wednesday morning. Not sure what it was, but we think it may have come from the church building when they were cleaning the ducts from the fire...

So, by Wednesday morning, I needed to take my contact out of that one eye because I looked deformed. Bright red blood shot eyeball. ICK! I looked like Steven's cat...if any of you have had the pleasure of meeting Tabby, you'll know what I mean.

I had some old (but not expired) drops I had purchased for a previous eye problem and thought I could knock out the irritation with a little self-prescribed medicine.

By Friday morning, it wasn't any better, so I called the eye Dr. and got in to see him. I have an ulcer on my eye, caused from some debris.

Can only wear my left contact, which makes me totally dizzy and off balance. But, the alternative is to be blind and that's not a good option when driving. I don't have glasses because...well, I just don't, O.K.?

So, I'm leaving Tuesday morning. Flying to Dallas and driving to Abilene to get my girl. YIPPEE!! I'm so excited. BUT, I can't see.

It's one thing to drive in a town you know well without seeing out of one eye...but another town? Another state? Nope...no-can-do!

This morning I went to the eyeglass place that a friend from church works at. They are rushing a pair of glasses for me and to top it off, he's delivering them Monday night at the church because I'll be in a meeting. Friends are amazing.

But for now, until Monday night, I'll be One Eyed and Dizzy.

I always think people with glasses look smarter. I'm looking forward to that!

Blessings.

I bought a DVD that is supposed to have some exercise "routines" I might be able to handle.

You see, I can't just go pick up any exercise routine, or take off running miles and miles. In fact, a dear friend has offered to walk with me, but her walk would be useless because I'll be very slow and very short. She'll have to exercise after we exercise just to get her work out in!

I found this DVD that has gospel music on it and I was thinking it might encourage me to hear the music as I do what I despise! I've known for two months that not only do I need to lose weight by eating healthier, but the exercise factor is a huge deal here. I would love to ignore it...in fact I have!

I bought this DVD days ago. (maybe a week or so ago) And finally, last night, I decided to put it in the player and see what it's all about. There was a very amateur production of a couple of 10 minute line dances, a 20 minute walking/step routine, and a 30 minute cardio workout. I loved it, it was entertaining. A little goofy, and quite low budget. But, the key here is that I could actually do what they were asking me to do.

At least I think I can. Last night, I just sat on the couch and watched it.

Maybe tonight I'll get up and join them!

Blessings!

Distractions...

Monday night, well, Tuesday morning if we're gonna get technical, there was a fire in our church building.

Some "angry-not-enough-to-do" person decided to set a trash can up against the back of the church and set it on fire. According to the fire investigator and police and a hundred other "specialists" who have been on campus for two days straight, they had to use some kind of accelerant to make it get as hot as it did and climb the stucco wall, thus burning through to the inside of the building.

The actual "fire" damage was limited to one wall, albeit a strong beam load bearing wall...(YIKES). But the other damage is still being uncovered.

Fortunately, we have a good alarm system which includes sprinklers that go on at the first sign of fire, so the water damage is another story. One whole wing is incapacitated because of smoke and water damage.

However, we're working through it. At least we're trying.

I am currently sitting at my desk, which at least now has power...until late yesterday, we had no electricity. There are a gazillion fans and dehumidifiers running all down the hall, into every office and school room. It is a maze to get from point "A" to point "B". The noise is deafening. I rarely get headaches. I woke up in the night with a doosie! And sitting here now, it's only getting worse. So, with the smoke smell, the darkness in the hallways, (that circuit hasn't been restored, yet.), the absolute ridiculous noise from the fans, not to mention the "mess" the whole wing is in because of ripped up baseboards and moved furniture, it's a little hard to concentrate.

And yet, we still need a worship order for Sunday. Hmmm...

This isn't about me. Not by any stretch. This is about the amazing crews of people who have jumped to come help. Not only church members, but city workers, and others. This is about those who will have to spend countless hours working on this project...because this is a long haul kind of project. This is about how to continue to lead a church in the midst of mess. And, this is about how to reconcile some body's anger and disregard in our own heads and actually pray for the person who created this distraction.

But, most of all, this is about how we can't let the distraction distract us. Period.

Pray for our church. Pray for our front ladies having to deal with city inspectors, contractors, adjusters. And pray that this is just another moment when we see God's goodness come shining through.

Blessings!

Some of you out there know my sister-in-law is a "Creative Memories" rep and is quite passionate and successful at her business. She's been trying to encourage me to just start with the picture thing. I take millions of pics. I have millions of pics in boxes in the closets. But the task of putting them in albums has, up to this point, been overwhelming. There's just too much! I truly expect that next year, after my Avery leaves for ACU, I'll need something to distract me from my empty nest. What better than pictures of your babies who are no longer babies? I'll start next year...maybe...

There's a point to the above paragraph. Have you, in blogland, ever had SO MUCH that you couldn't even blog about it because it was just too much? Like the boxes of pictures, it's just overwhelming! Life has been whirling and spinning and progressing at such a fast pace I can't even keep up!

So, for now, I just wanted to check in and say...life is good. Life is blessed. Life is very hard. Life is swelling with fullness beyond description.

More later when it can all be sorted.
Blessings!

There is something about the word "accepted" that makes us happy...comfortable...at rest.

We all want to feel like we're accepted. Accepted in normal society, accepted with our friends, even our family. There is a wonderful feeling that you have when you have friends and family that love you unconditionally and accept you in all circumstances.

My son received his "acceptance letter" from ACU last week. It was packaged beautifully, as if you might want to keep it and treasure it forever. To have your name on the top of the letter..."Dear Avery"...and to continue reading that it is their pleasure to inform you that you've been "accepted" to Abilene Christian University is quite a good feeling.

It just seems like yesterday I was feeling all these feelings because my sweet daughter was receiving the same letter and preparing to graduate and go to Texas. I wondered if I would feel the same sadness...surely, I'd be used to it. More practiced. An old pro at this "child leaving home" thing. Nope.

Avery is one of the sweetest, kindest, smartest young men I know. Not because of anything I've done...but because he's been showered with God's goodness and mercy through a huge community of people who love him unconditionally, and accept him all the time.

So, congratulations Avery. I had no doubts they would want you.

And really, Congratulations Abilene Christian University! You're getting a magnificent young man!

Blessings.

My children thought it would be nice to give their Daddy a puppy for Christmas! He's been wanting another dog for quite some time now, and I was the one who kept saying "please, no." We have a dog. A very sweet old dog. A dog that I have loved very much in spite of my "no dog" rule.

So, to bring in another puppy, to me, just didn't make sense. Puppies are like babies. They cry and poop and pee and need to be fed and cared for 24/7. I knew I had lost the battle when at Christmas time, a friend of my daughter's dog had puppies. Black lab/German Shepherd puppies. I finally gave in when the kids said, "Dad doesn't ask for much, ever, so we think we should listen when he asks..." So the kids took off to go choose the puppy for their Dad.

It seems that life has been hectic and crazy since Christmas and I've not introduced you to Lex's new love. This is Jake... He is hysterical and yes, he's a mess. He is a very good dog, though, and although I was against it, watching a grown man cry when his children handed him their gift to him changed my mind.

I guess I'm just destined to always have a dog around. It's one of those marriage compromises we make because it makes the other person very happy.

It's worth it.

Happy Birthday James

I tried to blog on James' birthday, but blogger wouldn't allow. Seems to be less touchy today...

James is funny...very funny. I find myself amused by him often, just like I am amused by his Daddy often. At least James hasn't figured out, yet, how to get me in trouble in church by making me laugh. Give him time, though, because he definitely has his Daddy's genes in the silly category.

James is sweet and kind. He's turning from the natural selfish instincts we all have, to a boy with a heart of empathy and concern.

James is learning to be a Christ follower.

James doesn't quite get yet how blessed he is. Maybe we all don't quite get it. But James has a very large community of people who will pray with him, play with him, love him unconditionally, and teach him constantly.

He is blessed, and he in turn is a blessing to us.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET JAMES!

Spring Break

Ashley flew in today at noon to begin her 10 days of Spring Break.

It's so good to see her and hear about the ways she is growing and experiencing life.

Some things hurt deeply, like letting your child go 1411 miles away to College, however, there couldn't have been a better place for her to grow and develop as a Godly woman.

So, I'll continue giving things up to God, because He seems to know what he's doing!

For all those on Spring Break this week...Enjoy!! And stay safe...

Blessings.