This is the first day of school for Ashley. It's the first time I haven't been there to hug, kiss, take the first day of school picture, and yes, cry.

I cry every first day of school. It's not a sad cry...it's an "I can't believe where the time is going" cry.

This year was different.

Last week was Avery's first day of school and I was in Texas...so my sweet Mom came over and took his picture in the right spot of the yard (it's fun to take it in the same spot every year. You see the vegetation and the child grow!). So, I've not seen it yet, but I know I have a first day of school picture for Avery.

Avery called me on his first day of school, so I was able to love on him over the phone. (between sobs...I had just left his sister!)

It is now 7:00 am our time and Ashley has already had one class. So, first day of school has officially started for her, too.

Mike Cope talks about the hands that grip the kids, how little by little fingers are pried off until finally, there is very little holding on to them. I didn't like that part of his message last Sunday, but I understood it.

I feel the grip loosen and the fingers one by one open.

I guess if you've done your job, and if God is merciful, you're able to let go on your own without anyone having to drag you or pry your fingers loose.

Parents, enjoy it all. I'm even enjoying this. There's always laughter after the sadness.

Driving home last week, I had a particularly bad, sad, horrible night in Gallup, New Mexico. I called my boys at home and cried and cried and cried.

Avery finally got on the phone after Lex couldn't do anything with me and said, "Mom, come home. We're waitin' for you. We're right here waitin'. And besides, Dad and I have run out of things we know how to cook!"

Laughter...thanks Avery. I'm glad I'm still needed.

Blessings!

Happy girl...

"May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen"

THE NEW NORMAL

I woke up today in Fresno.

Drove for two days away from Abilene and toward home.

It's the strangest feeling I've ever had...dropping off your child and driving away...and driving, and driving, and driving. Every bone in my body kept saying "go back...go back", but my brain knew I was doing the right thing.

Abilene is a wonderful place. It's a beautiful school with amazing people teaching and leading the kids/students. I had constant assurance from people I trust with...well...my child's life, that she will do wonderful and if there's ever a problem, they will be there for her. Thank you, God.

So, today, I am faced with the "new normal". Life changes, doesn't it? The old normal has been two children in my home. I liked that. In fact, my favorite part of any day was the early morning or late night when everybody was inside, safe, asleep. I'd walk to her room and then his and just look at them. I'd usually spend time in prayer for each one while looking at them sleep. Come on, you guys, admit it...you look at your kids sleeping, don't you?

But, this morning, I saw him and an empty room.

This is the beginning of the new normal for our home. Can't say it's my favorite time, but I am confident it is what is supposed to happen. Whether I like it or not.

By the way, Ashley is doing wonderful. She's already made great friends and is having a blast at "welcome week". She has Mike Cope for her Freshman Bible class...what more could you want! Classes begin next Monday. But for this week, they are having a wonderful time mixing and playing and getting to know each other.

I asked her last night if she had experienced any homesick moments. She paused for quite a while and then finally started giggling and said, "No...I'm sorry, Mom."

I assured her that I was comforted by the fact that she hadn't been homesick. It helps me know she's doing exactly what she's supposed to do!

Now, I'm going to go and get used to my new normal.
Blessings.

I'm in Abilene...

Spent the day setting my daughter in her dorm.

It looks wonderful, it feels wonderful, it is wonderful.

Last night, she spent the night with me in the hotel, and I'm not ashamed to say, I was really happy to hear she would stay again tonight with me.

It's hard to pray without tears...but, the prayers are necessary.

We'll go to Highland Church tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to hearing Mike Cope speak.

I leave Tuesday night, probably...

I'm not looking forward to driving away...

Keep praying.

My brain is mush...

Glad to be home but loved loved loved the coast. If I ever strike it rich, I'll buy a home there and you all can come visit me any time!

Hope this finds you all well and happy and healthy. I didn't look at my email or blog one time all week, so this is slow going getting back in the swing of things.

There seems to be a lot to pray about these days...

church
staff
changes
family
children
marriages in trouble
people in trouble
death
new life

It's so good to belong to God. To be able to look to Him and hand over the struggles we face...whether for ourselves or those we love.

I'll post some pictures when my genius son puts them in a place I can reach. ("pictures for dummies" for his Mom...) I can take them, I just don't know what to do with them after that!

Blessings!

This is it...last night for V.B.S.

I'd be telling an un-truth if I said I was sad to see it end. I'm exhausted. My whole family is completely exhausted. We are sooooooo looking forward to Pismo next week. We are blessed to be able to end a busy 2 weeks with something as wonderful as a vacation at the coast.

However, I would do it all again. It's been extremely rewarding for many reasons.

First and foremost is the children you see touched by all the effort. One 4 year old was leaving with his Daddy and said, "I'm glad this church loves children so much!" Can you believe that? This little one equated the effort by grown ups as love for him and his buddies. That is amazing to me.

Second, we've had kids come in from the neighborhood and one Mom even ask me if they could start coming on a regular basis. That's good stuff...

And finally, I've watched my daughter, writer of all the V.B.S. scripts, handle a tough situation as one who is in charge. She gathered a wonderful cast of characters and has written funny, thoughtful, enjoyable scripts delivered with the message each night of finding your gift. God gave each of us a gift, it's just up to us to find it and use it. She has crafted wonderful times that the children have enjoyed with jubilation! She's even had to handle cranky and not-so-pleasant adults by being involved in the thick of things. She made me very proud.

So, it's been wonderful, but thankfully tonight is it!

I don't typically like to share these things, but, if you all wouldn't mind praying for me I would appreciate it. I'm not overly healthy and tomorrow starts some tests trying to figure it all out. If they find something they don't like, I don't get to go to Pismo. That would be tragic! I tried to put off the test until after we come back, but couldn't talk them into it. I have another test after we get back, so whoopie! (I hate going to the Dr.!)

Anyway, as much as I want them to find something so they can fix it, I am hoping it's not more than what will allow me to go to the beach for a week.

Thanks for the prayers.
blessings...

It's V.B.S. Prep week. It's the week that is actually longer and harder than the V.B.S. week itself.

Many folks have been working 10-12 hour days to pull this vision together.

It amazes me to see the dedication of these people because of their love for the children of this community and church.

What a Blessing!

In case you haven't figured it out already, it's a carnival theme this year. Roller coasters, merry-go-rounds, carni-games, Ferris wheels...and that's just in the auditorium! The idea is that this old run-down carnival with cob-webs and tumble weeds is purchased by an old gentleman who remembers it fondly and loves it dearly. Through work, sweat, and toil, the cast of characters will not only transform this old run-down place into a thriving exciting wonderful carnival, but find their own personal gifts and talents in the process!

I'm looking forward to seeing the process...watching the kids as they begin to "get it". But the most amazing thing to me about V.B.S. is watching the adults. There are people who rarely find a spot to work in any other time of year...but during V.B.S., they find their gift. There are those who reluctantly agree to be "actors" in the skits and end up being super-stars to the children. There are people who sit with the children watching, but taking it into their heart, also. There are neighborhood people who bring their children for the first time, and now, a year later are still coming because of the love they found in this place. There are people who get to work together and realize they have much in common but never knew it because they normally sit on opposite sides of the auditorium during the Sunday assembly time...

It's tiring, it's wonderful, it's exhausting, it's spirit-filled, it's all consuming, it's eternal!

Pray for our workers...pray for the children who will come next Monday - Thursday.

This week has been a whirlwind of emotion. Great pride, joy and sorrow all mixed up together. Ashley's school puts on a musical at the end of the year right before graduation. Last week was the show. It was a long exhausting week, but one that I'm sure the kids feel good about.

Last night was graduation. I was stable and calm. It was amazing to watch that little girl all grown up marching in with her class...Graduating. Little tears, but considering who I am, I was rather proud of the composure I maintained.

We went with family after graduation and celebrated with dinner and then it was off to Sober Grad night. It's a wonderful time for the kids. It's safe and fun and a time to just relax and be grateful you made it through! This year the kids went to a mini amusement park in Fresno. Water slides, miniature golf, food, D.J., Racing cars...they had a blast. Signing year books, hugging, laughing, just good fun being together. This is a very small class compared to other high schools. About 65 kids. So they are a tight knit group.

Lex, being the amazing father that he is, chaperoned the evening/night. He's had about 2 hours sleep as we speak and will head out after church to work for the afternoon.

But, I think one of my proudest moments was watching her brother take care of her in so many ways this week. Avery was in the midst of it all, helping with tech difficulties during the show, hanging out with people that came to the house, (a teen-age form of hospitality), fixing his sister's broken shoe needed for graduation night, and countless other moments of sweet sibling love. I am so proud of both my kids. They are good people. I could disappear (not that I have any plans of that!) and they would continue to be solid, Godly, amazing people. I really feel like my work on them is finished. God has always shown me what should be done and when...and for now, I can let go.

What a blessing...how very sad...

Last night I had the pleasure of attending my daughter's Baccalaureate Service. Next Saturday is Graduation.

I say that all very matter-of-factly, however, I'm a mess.

I made the mistake today of "Map Quest-ing" from my house to ACU. 1411.63 miles.

Did you really read that? Over fourteen hundred miles away from me my baby will be! What are we thinking?! I'm a mess.

O.K. Many of you have experienced this already. You're probably thinking..."you're not the first one to send your child off to College. Parents have been doing it for years."

I know. But I'm still a mess.

Last night at the service, the guest speaker said that sociologists have actually named my generation of parents...it's called the "helicopter generation". Have you heard this before? We are called this because of our "hovering" capabilities with our children. We are involved in every aspect of their lives...hovering at all times in case they need us.

We laughed, but we all knew with few exceptions, he was correct. It's going to be very difficult to hover 1400 miles away. I'm a mess.

What I know without a doubt is that in spite of my achy-breaky heart, she is doing exactly what she is supposed to do.

I know that God has His hand on her, and I know He's leading her to be what He wants and needs her to be.

I know that our kids are a gift...a blessing. I know that if we are doing our job correctly, they will eventually leave us to fly their own path with their own wings.

I know all this...and in the course of the next couple of months, I'll probably write more about this as we prepare to take her to her next stop in life.

But for now...for today, I'm a mess!

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance if fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." James 1:2-4

We are beginning our new pulpit series this week. It's always difficult for me to get into another series. I typically (with some exceptions) love the series we are in and find it difficult to change gears and embrace a new one. However, I began reading James and decided it was going to be a good thing not only for this church, but for me personally.

I'm looking forward to what God is planning to do during the next 13 weeks. We have the privilege of not only our regular rotation of speakers, but the addition of Brady Smith in August. What a treat!

So, my question of the day is: All you preachers/scholars/students of the Word, give me your favorite thing/things about the book of James. What comes to mind when you think of a study of that book?

Happy Wednesday!

Family, Bar-B-Que, Sleeping In, Pool Tournament in Mom's Patio, Home Made Vanilla Ice Cream, Warm and gooey Chocolate Chip Cookies, Reading...

It is a beautiful day. The weather isn't cold or hot...it's juuuuust right! The perfect day for spending time with family and having fun.

I hope today you all get to do things you love to do with people you love to do them with.

Remember, though, to take time to remember.

Have a beautiful Memorial Day...

I had the pleasure, Saturday, of spending most of the day with my nephew, James.

It really was a special day, because, you see, even though I see him often, it is always with other people around.

James and I rarely get the chance to have a one-on-one day. In fact, I don't remember a time before that I had him without others with me.

His Dad brought him over and we had 1/2 a donut and watched a few minutes of some cartoons, which he had to explain to me. (Not exactly the same stuff on that my kids used to watch.)

Avery woke up about an hour earlier than necessary (he usually sleeps until the absolute final moment that allows him just enough time to get ready for school, work, church, etc...) so he could hang out with James for a few minutes before he went to work.


They blew bubbles, hosed off the sidewalk, and drove the remote control car. Very fun.

We took Avery to work, and then headed to Taco Bell. We ate and then headed home to get ready for the T-Ball game. Sunscreen, two shirts (James' request), a hat, our glove, our inhaler in case we stop breathing (!?), and we're off!

T-ball was...well...just plain funny.

Then we headed to pick up our cousin, Ashley, who had been at work all morning making coffee for people. James was excited to get to see Ashley because she makes him a drink with milk and bananas and chocalate and ice all blended up. He loves it!

Back to the house where it was nap time! Whew!

Throughout this day, I decided to teach James a scripture...so, I did what any self respecting Aunt would do. I told him that if he learned a memory verse while he was with me, I would take him to Target to get a Hot Wheels of his choice.

He worked all day on it...little by little...laughing, getting frustrated, being silly, working hard.

Finally, he said,
"John 3:16...God loves the world soooooo much, he gave us his only Son!...John 3:16"

Very cool.

I learned a few things Saturday...or maybe I was just reminded again. It's been a while since I was in charge of a 5 year old boy.

I learned that if you both get Nachos at Taco Bell, you can double dip your chips into the stuff they call cheese, because you have your own. But if you share a Nachos, you're not supposed to "double dip."

I learned that "Mommy lets me get Pepsi, but only once. After that's gone, I have to fill my cup with water."

I remembered that finding sticks and rocks in the parking lot is equal to buried treasure.

I remembered that spilling the bubbles and hosing them off is more fun than actually blowing through the little lame plastic circle stick they give you.

I remembered that you can sit, crouched in "catchers position" and watch a slug for minutes...I mean minutes, and never move.

I remembered that to look a child in the eye and tell them how very much you love them never gets old. And to hear it back is magical...

I remembered what it's like to be silly and make a child laugh a big deep down belly laugh.

And, I remembered how very precious it is to hear scripture from the lips of a child.

It was a very good day.

Scripture

I love so many things about scripture...

I love the fact that the more I read and study, the less I know.

I love the idea that it is an eternal well that never runs dry...always there to quench my thirsty soul...to speak to me in a new and different way than the time before.

I love the excitement of the Old Testament. The God who actually spoke to people. What would that have been like? How exciting is that!?

I love the weaving of my Savior all through the Old Testament until, finally, we get to meet him face to face in the New Testament.

I love reading about people dedicated to their God and to Jesus Christ. People who would give their life before they would ever turn their back on what they believed to be true.

All these things I love, and many more.

But I think the most amazing thing to me is the way those ancient words relate to me...today...in 2006.

And today, their are two verses that I am basking in...

Psalm 71:5
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I've trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.

Psalm 16:1
Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge.

What a blessing, in these days of change and uncertainty to have this to rest on.
God is my refuge...my hope. He is my net when I'm on the high wire.
He receives my full trust, because, just as in scripture, He has never, ever failed me.

And...bloggers, He will never fail you...ever.

It's test time...
Finals week for Ashley.

It's her last time in High School to experience the long hours of test week...but we all know, College is just around the corner!

There are things about being young that I miss. There are moments when I think, "enjoy this...these are good times".

But testing, nope...don't miss that at all.

Their school follows the Fresno State University schedule which actually gives them 10 days less of class instruction than the other high schools in town. That is difficult for the teachers as well as the students.

She is allowed to take Fresno State classes, along with her regular high school classes, so this semester she has a University Geology class and German class as well. ( my Mom said "she's too pretty to speak German. She should pick another language." Those Grandma's...they're priceless.)

After Finals week, they go into "electives" which basically means she is through with class work and now rehearses and works for 2 weeks to put on a really good show. It's a fun time for the kids after such a difficult study schedule.

But for now, we are in Finals Week. It's difficult for me to stand by and watch her work and study so hard with so little sleep! I want desperately to help, but can't.

I guess the best I can do is sharpen those #2 pencils and pray!

It's Monday!

Tell me what Monday means to you.
Is it a welcome day after a long hectic weekend?
Is it a time to rest?
Is it a jump back on to the 'ole hamster wheel?

I've said this before, but I used to despise Monday.
I didn't hate school, but would have rather been home.
So, Sunday night, I would feel the anxiety of Monday.
It would actually ruin my Sunday night because Monday was so close around the corner.

I love Monday's.

I love the fact that nothing is due or pressing for me.

I love the fact that I have flexibility on my job, so if the laundry is piled up after a long weekend, or dishes are in the sink, I can take some extra time at home and finish up my duties there.

I love coming into the office and cleaning the coffee pot from the day before.

I love thinking about the time spent just 24 hours earlier in that room praying, laughing, singing, worshiping together before heading out to the auditorium.

I bask in the goodness of God as I think about the day before, as He always, and I do mean always, shows Himself somehow in a way I didn't expect on Sunday.

So, Monday? Bring it on.
For me, it's a great day.

Blessings

Ana One, Ana Two...

Ashley handed me a tiny article cut from the newspaper...I unfolded it and she said,
"Wanna go...?"

It was the Lawrence Welk Mother's Day tour coming through Fresno.

Laugh if you want...I'll give you a minute.

But yesterday, Ashley and Grandma (my Mom), and I all enjoyed a wonderful lunch together and then headed down town to see a Lawrence Welk show.

When I was a little girl, my Saturday night consisted of sitting in the floor while my Mom combed out my freshly washed hair and curled it in rag curls for Sunday morning.

My Dad was in his recliner, Mom in her chair, and I was at her feet watching Lawrence Welk. (and Hee Haw!) Every Saturday night.

So, for me, Lawrence Welk became a part of who I was. It provided safety, security, and consistency because that's how I felt in that room with my parents...every Saturday night.

When my daughter was little, she would sit at my feet as we watched Lawrence Welk re-runs on PBS on Saturday night. Or, if we had already curled the hair, we would just sit together and watch.

Beautiful girls, Handsome men, sparkling dresses, lovely voices, and the bubbles. We loved it.

So, when Ashley asked me to go and bring Grandma, how could I resist such an invitation?

When the curtain opened and the band played and the singers began singing, I cried.
When Joe Feeney (beautiful Irish tenor) sang Oh, Danny Boy, I cried.
When they began the closing song, "Good night, sleep tight, and pleasant dreams to you..." I cried.

It wasn't just about the Lawrence Welk Show, it was about a childhood, and now me, a mother and a daughter sitting between my mother and daughter.

So laugh if you want...make fun...I can take it.

It was a blast!

Last night, I had the pleasure of knowing everybody was home and in their own "place" in our house. It's so good to have Avery and Lex home. Lex had a great time at Pepperdine and Avery had a very successful rocket launch and journey home.

I will post more later regarding the launch, but for now...

Yesterday morning we were in the middle of our rehearsal time. Singing through the music we would soon be sharing with the church. One of our praise team members stopped us and shared her heart and a scripture....

We were singing "Be Unto Your Name". (From ZOE Heart of Worship CD)

She said she couldn't sing it without thinking about Revelation and then proceeded to read to us what was on her heart.

"...Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty --
the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come." (4:8)

"You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power..."(4:11)

The scripture was beautiful. We love that song and have sung it many times, but yesterday, I saw it differently. Fresh, full of the Spirit. We knew it was from scripture, but to be stopped and have our attention brought back to it was a wonderful experience amidst the "rehearsal" time.

So today as I reflect on those few minutes, I'm very grateful for people who give their hearts in service to God. People who do what they do not for the glory or attention of it, (which can be a down fall to some Worship Teams and/or Leaders), but simply because they are in love with their Savior and in awe of their God and want to share that with others.

Blessings...

I took yesterday off and enjoyed doing...absolutely...nothing!

Don't tell my husband. He's working hard in Malibu, bless his heart!

Lex comes home today but informed me last night he's headed straight to the "shop" because they have their first "Friday Night Event" of the summer. He feels he needs to be there, so once again, I lose to the motorcycles.

Avery is having a very good time in Huntsville. He had lunch yesterday with the pilot of the next Space Shuttle. wow...I really wouldn't even know how to converse with the guy. They launch tomorrow, so when you get a chance, maybe you could pray for safety and success for the team.

Ashley has had two AP tests and a college level Geology Final this week. Whew! What a week for her! She's quite a girl.

I've done a couple of things I've never done before. Emptied the garbage from the house, took the cans to the street for pick-up, lost the dog in the process (I'm an amateur), and then brought the cans back up the next day. It was amazing as I was doing it that I realized I had never had to do it before. Never. At least now we know I can! (The dog came back as soon as he finished his little journey around the block.)

It's been very clear to me recently how very blessed we all are to have relationship with each other through the Father. It amazes me to think about dropping my daughter off in another state and have full assurance and peace that she will not only be just fine, but really have a chance to grow and become something wonderful for the Kingdom of God. Not just because of her efforts, but because of all the people who already know and love her and are willing to help develop and support her. Not to mention the ones she's yet to meet.

It's been wonderful for Lex to be at Pepperdine and have time with the "guys". He doesn't get a chance to do stuff like that at home. But what a blessing to have a group of people he can call on if he needed somebody to pray with him and/or for him. Through blogging, through Pepperdine, through ZOE, through church...what an enormous blessing it is to be connected.

Blessings to you all in Pepperdine as you finish up your week and get ready to travel home. I hope you're filled up and overflowing!

Blessings to those of you who are traveling home from other places. (NASA and Georgia in particular)

Blessings to those of you who stayed home this week and just kept doing what you do in beautiful service to your family and God.

Had an Elder walk by me last night at church and say with a little twinkle in his eye, "read your blog today".

Great. The one time I let a little frustration out regarding a church process and result, he reads my blog. The only thing I could think to say was, "at least I didn't say anything about the Elders, right?"

Had another person stop me last night and tell me they were going to shake down their second grade class last night to raise money for my salary...that way the church could pay for me as well as that Saturday advertising! Funny people.

I'm glad we can have a sense of humor about some things. So far, the class has raised $3.50. It looks like I'm getting a raise! (couldn't resist...sorry, Elder, if you chose to read again.)

On a lighter note, here are some pics from recent happenings...
Ashley with her very good friend and horn partner, Chris, at their final concert. This boy is a precious part of our family.

The Quartet at their final vocal concert

Ashley with Daddy before Prom.
Ashley with friends before Prom. Beautiful girls.

Thanks for stopping by!

Because there are so many things to blog about, so many things happening in the Henderson household, as well as the church household, I have hesitated blogging at all!

Here in a nutshell is what is going on:

*Ashley had her last concerts Monday, Thursday, and Friday of last week. I've been attending school concerts for many years, and last week, I watched kids whom I have been watching since Elementary school give their final performances for the parents. They were wonderful. And, yes, a few tears fell. (and not just mine, by the way!)

*Ashley turned down the Pepperdine Scholarship and Admission and decided to attend Abilene Christian University. As much as I would have loved to have her within arms reach in Malibu, I think, for her heart and future, she made a very wise decision. So, amidst final concerts, and Finals, and AP testing, and graduation thoughts, she's made a very prayerful and good decision regarding her future. I've very proud of her.

*Lex leaves today to work for ZOE at Pepperdine. He's never gone without me. I will miss him, but know he's doing something God has gifted him to do. I've said it before...there isn't a better sound guy with a heart for worship than Lex. He's a treasure.

*Avery leaves tomorrow for Alabama for the Launch with NASA. He and his team have been working overtime on the final preparations for their rocket. He's put some special things in this year that he's anxious (maybe a little stressed) to see if it produces the kind of launch he's hoping for. To say I'm proud of him is an understatement. He's quite intelligent...and very sweet.

*Our church just finished a process of communication that was, at best, interesting. There was a Steering Committee appointed to "poll" the church on different issues. Can you say "can of worms?" Anyway, a 50 page report came out Sunday with suggestions from the congregation regarding anything you could think of. Although there were some very thoughtful and enlightening responses, (very few), my favorite was to let the Worship Minister go (that would be me) because it's an unnecessary expense and use that money to take out a full page ad in the Saturday religion section of the paper inviting people to come to our church. My salary should cover the advertising costs.

Although some of the remarks hurt a bit, for the most part, I found the whole process and result amusing. It's a sign of growth for me. In the past I would have been devastated to think somebody didn't like me. That's o.k. God has a purpose for me and for now, it involves serving at the College Church. When that's over, He'll let me know. Don't let my comments steer you toward thinking it was only a negative report, there were many sweet and positive comments made regarding many things, I just found amusement with some of the other suggestions.

Hhmmm...seems like there's more, but for now, I can't think beyond what I've told you...so, enjoy your day bloggers...particularly those of you enjoying the sun and fellowship and rich teaching in Malibu!