Moving Music

I listened to a concert on DVD by one of my very favorite groups ever...


I know you probably expect something worship-like or christian-eze, and although there are numerous songs and artists I enjoy in that realm of music, I do believe my favorite all time group is the Eagles.


My big brother brought over their Farewell Concert I last night and we watched and listened as those amazingly talented boys played and played.


Good music, I mean really good music, can bring me to tears.


I'm the same girl who at a very young age, ran out of the room crying as we watched the ending to Cinderella on our T.V. My mom came to see what was wrong and all I could say through sobs and tears was that "her dress was so pretty", but now, I know it was a combination of the dress, yes, but even more potent for me was the amazing music that played in the background.


I am likely to have a tear or two at a beautiful symphony. I cried at Josh Grobin when he sang "You Raise Me Up". I cried when our children at church sang "What a Friend We Have in Jesus". That's just a sampling of what touches me deeply.


But if you get the chance, listen to those Eagles sing "There's a Hole in the World Tonight" written on the eve of September 11. The harmonies are absolutely amazing. Tight, Crisp, Beautiful. And the key change...oh my goodness, the key change!


http://eagles-there-039-s-a-hole-in-the-world-t-mp3-download.kohit.net/_/175194




Pass the tissues please!

Fellowship

The ZOE weekend in Nashville was wonderful.

Great speaking. Listened to a new speaker (new to me) and thought he had a beautiful gift of preaching.

Roof raising singing. Thoughtful lyrics...some wonderful new songs to pass on to the folks here in Fresno.

Great class sessions (I heard, but wasn't able to attend due to my personal "job" for the weekend).

But truly, the very best part of the conference, after 10 years of attending, is seeing the folks who I don't get to see often. It's such a beautiful part of the gathering...watching people see each other from across the foyer, the auditorium, the parking lot...yelling out to one another and rushing to grab a hug and catch up on life's happenings.

I was blessed to see my children. They were flown in to handle various jobs/tasks...and did a most excellent job, if I may say!

So, I guess, if the best part of the conference was the fellowship, the worst part, probably would be the moment in the Dallas airport when my husband and I went one direction to catch our plane to Fresno, and the kids went the opposite direction to catch their plane to Abilene. But even that wasn't too bad, because with my children were three of the most amazing people I know who happen to live in Abilene and love my kids. And, I know if my children need anything, they can call on these or any other number of people at ACU.

The family of God is a priceless gift that I am truly thankful for.

October 1...

Hard to believe it's October.

Looking forward to the Nashville ZOE Conference this week. And then, in January the West Coast ZOE Conference here in Fresno. It will be here before we know it! Make plans to join us in January. It is a beautiful, intimate, enriching weekend that will bless you in so many ways.
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Elder selection is winding down at church. Just a few more weeks and we'll have new elders. We had an interesting "social" time yesterday after church/class allowing people to talk with the "candidates". So very interesting. People I've never seen dress up before were wearing suits! And, smiling! And they were even on time/early to services! Hopefully, if these folks become elders, they will continue their new road of goodness.

Without giving them too much grief, I think a "spotlight in the face" isn't such a bad thing every once in a while. We get complacent, lazy, comfortable, don't we? Sometimes, it's good to have to examine yourself because you know everybody else is going to be examining you!

So, whether we're an elder candidate or not, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to dust off our good clothes, smile a lot more, complain a lot less, and get to church not just on time, but early so we can greet and love on each other as we worship and serve together.

Blessings!

Psalm 139

Some of the message yesterday centered around Psalm 139.

As I prepared for Sunday, I read this Psalm through many times. Each time, I think a different verse popped up as my favorite at the moment.

However, the overwhelming favorite for the week was v. 17.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God. They cannot be numbered!


God thinks about me...How cool is that?!

What verse blesses you in that particular Psalm?

anonymous

I received a comment on my last post that came from an anonymous "friend".

I started thinking about what it would be like to go through life anonymously. Would I act any differently? Would I say things that I normally keep to myself? Maybe...but I hope not.

Christianity is, as you all know, a lifestyle. Not an occupation. It's who we are, not what we do. It's something that we live and breath and struggle with on a daily basis because of the humans we are...and the choices our gracious God has allowed us to have.

We are going through a time of choosing new elders for our church. I'm very excited about a few of the men being nominated, and quite reserved about some others. But the bottom line is, God is in charge and has a plan for this church. I'm not quite clear on the method that will be used to allow the church to "vote" (very bad term but you get what I'm saying) yes or no for an elder candidate, but I've heard we may allow anonymous comments as long as there aren't scriptural sitings against the candidate. If you have a scriptural basis for not wanting someone to take the role of Elder, you must sign your form.

I'm worried about the anonymous thing. If I have a reason I believe this person isn't qualified, or at least brings question in my mind, shouldn't I go to that person and talk about it? Aside from scriptural reasons, isn't there room to have a conversation where God is the center and honest concerns can be raised? But, if I were to be totally honest with you, I would admit that I probably will avoid that conflict if I know it will cause some kind of "thing" between me and the persons I'm concerned about.

So, for now, I've changed my blog settings to no longer allow anonymous comments, and I'll continue praying about my opportunity to share honest, non-anonymous concerns with my brothers.

Blessings.

When Does It Feel Normal?

There are moments that I miss those two kids so very much it actually aches...physically aches.

There were split seconds as Lex and I drove away from them toward the Dallas airport that I would turn to him and say, "my heart just cracked...really, it cracked. Did you hear it?"

There is this void in my life that I can't quite get used to, and yet, I know it's right. I know it's God's plan. I know it's happening in a beautiful way.

What I desire more than anything else for my children is that they follow God's plan, whatever that is, even if it doesn't fall in line with my plan. Because the only way I survive the horrible 1400 mile distance between us is to know, without a doubt, God has them in the palm of His hands. He is their guide, their hope, their rock. Why would I want anything different?

Yesterday, when Ash called to say "hi" after church, I told her Sunday was the worst day for my aching heart. I didn't know why, and she responded that on Sunday, we were all together the whole day. Getting to church early together, worshiping together, eating lunch together, laughing, watching movies, napping...together. So, of course that would be the day I missed them most.

So, yesterday, when one of my favorite people got up to lead a prayer for communion, I felt that silly lump in my throat that comes without warning. Not because it was communion, but because it was somebody my son has had a life long sweet friendship with. Because I can see them as 3 year old, 9 year old, 13 year old...together, building boats to go in the swimming pool, running through sprinklers together, hanging out after church together, building forts. All these memories come flooding through my mind at the most inopportune moments!

And now, this handsome, grown up, young man is leading the church in communion, and my boy is far away. (I know this may be the part where Brady comments something like "you're such a mess".)

I'm waiting for their absence to feel like the new normal. I wonder how long that will take?

Blessings!

Being Judged!

Being Judged is an awful thing... None of us like to have someone look at us or our life or our family and make a decision about us that sometimes is incorrect.

I am one of those people who rarely do things that I am not sure about, simply because I don't want people to be able to look at me or my actions and say, "what a fool! what was she thinking?" I prefer the safe route. However, sometimes that becomes boring.

So, when I decided to enter some photographs into the little Fresno Fair, you can understand my reservations. This is a big step for me...I'm taking quite a chance in this!

People I don't know, who don't know me, but seem to know a lot about photography, are going to look at what I bring them and decide whether it is worthy. Is this good enough to even be exhibited, much less receive some kind of ribbon?

At this point, I'm just hoping at least one of the four entries get into the exhibit itself. I don't care about ribbons...yet.

So, I'll let you know. And, you understand, don't you?...how much of a risk I took, knowing my personality and the way I despise failure, that I shared this with you at all? Right?

I could have just said nothing, and then when the pictures do get into the exhibit, we could rejoice together...or when they are declined, I wouldn't even have to tell you.

Blessings!

Bucket-O-Snakes

Our "Ladies Day" is Saturday morning at church. This consists of a morning of beautiful women, singing, brunching, listening, praying, laughing and lunching.

This year, for reasons I'm not positive, someone is posing as "Eve", and needed a snake to finish off her outfit.

My Avery had many snakes throughout his young life. Some we "snake-sat" during school vacations, but most are rubber or this very cool technique using wood which makes these fake snakes look very alive.

So, I started looking in his closet for the Bucket-O-Snakes.

Avery is a saver. A saver of Tonka Trucks, Lego's, Fire Trucks, Thunder Loop Tracks (I can still hear him saying "Thunder Loop" with his sweet young voice), Hot Wheels, and robots. His closet is full of these things as well as his Architectural Drawings from High School, his DVD's (MacGyver, My Name Is Earl, Dukes of Hazzard), stacks of magazines, and of course, clothes.

He not only saves, he takes care of. So, these things from years gone by are in as good a shape today as they were when he received them.

Lex was brave enough to climb in the closet and search for the popcorn tin holding the snakes, and as he opened it, we discovered more saved items. Not only snakes, but military patches from his Grandpa, his Dad's old Class B license from 15 years ago, and notes. Piles of notes. Notes Lex and I had written on little pieces of paper and stuck in the lunch box. Notes that said, "I love you", "Have a Great Day", "Praying for your spelling Test", "Can't wait to see you after school", "You are precious to me"...as well as countless other little things.

We think, as parents, we need to keep up with the latest things not only for ourselves, but for our kids. We need to make sure we provide them with everything they not only need to survive, but need to succeed. As I looked through that bucket, I realized there wasn't much $ worth attached to it, but the worth of my son becoming an amazing young man is there. There are representations from many people in his life who loved him unconditionally and believed in him at every turn.

That bucket is invaluable.

We all have a bucket...Are you filling them with goodness?

Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

This is the view from the "garden roof top" level of the hotel Lex and I stayed in on Sunday night.

Lex gets very few days off, particularly two days in a row, so we took advantage of this new "empty nester" phase and the Monday holiday (which happened to be my birthday, also!) and took off out of town after church Sunday.

Fresno had 100+ degree temps and the coast stayed at an even 65 degrees. Aahhh....heaven!

Constant 65 degree temps...free of charge!
Discovering an amazing bowl of clam chowder...$8.95
Receiving Happy Birthday phone calls from my kids and a quiet weekend with my husband...Priceless!

Blessings!

Phone Call

I was racing around yesterday morning getting ready for work. It was about 8:00 and had just finished getting my make-up on, and had cut up a slew of things for the salad we were going to serve at Wednesday Night Dinner at church.

Feeling rather good that all this was done, I headed to the back of the house to finish up and head out the door when my cell phone rang. It was my Avery.

"Hey Mom...I'm in Bible with Mike and we're doing that thing."

"That thing" Avery was referring to is a tradition for Mike Cope and his Freshman Bible students. He has them all (300 of them!) call a parent or grandparent and then hold the phone in the air as he speaks to all of us. Last year, I was having lunch with an Elder and our other minister when Ashley called. I had to excuse myself and head outside the Applebees to listen and cry.

But this year, I won't be as mushy, right? I know what's coming, right?

Nope!

Mike Cope starts talking..."Good Morning parents. My name is Mike Cope and I'm here with your son or daughter in Freshman Bible. I just wanted to tell you we are going to walk through the life of Jesus together and learn more about him as we grow closer to him. I want you to know we love your children and pray for them. And we thank you for the sacrifice you've made to allow them to be here, both financially and personally as you've let them go away from home."

And then the whole class sings "I Love You With the Love of the Lord", and "Lord I Lift Your Name On High".

It may sound sappy. You may think this is just too much mush. But when it's your child there, those words mean the world to you.

Yes, I was a mess...and Yes, I had to touch up the make-up.

Blessings!

First Day of School!

Most of you know I'm a big mush when it comes to my kids. Some of you are, also, whether you admit it or not!

Today was the first day of school at ACU. I couldn't be there to pack their lunch, iron their clothes, make sure they had what they needed, pray over them the night before, or kiss them good bye as they walked out the door with the constant reminder..."I love you. I'm proud of you!"

Sad as that is for me, I look at this pic that they so sweetly had someone take for their mushy mom, and think, "hmmm. looks like they managed without me!"

They look clean and pressed and happy. Maybe they will survive without my constant help. (nagging/help, whatever you want to call it!)

So, thanks God. You've shown me again that although I have a role in their lives, it's constantly changing and ultimately, you are the master planner. You are the one who has created them in your image with a purpose. And, only you truly know what that is.

So, happy first day of school to you, sweet children. I love you and I'm proud of you!

Weather?

I was helping Ashley move into her nice-new-just-remodeled dorm today when, and I'm not kidding you, the SKIES OPENED UP AND DUMPED, I mean DUMPED, water down. They called it rain, but I've never ever seen it "rain" like that before. This was the kind of rain that if you were a small child or old person, you're liable to be lost. Lost in the rivers that used to be parking lots. Lost in the rapidly moving complete with waves and all waters moving through streets.

Nobody who has lived there, including my daughter, seemed too worried. One of the girls came in and said, "um, Mrs. Henderson, if you want to get to your car later, you may want to move it now." What!? She said it with such ease and not a worried tone in her voice. But to me, that seemed extreme. Ashley just giggled, knowing I was secretly freaking out on the inside but still looked pretty cool on the outside.

I did move my car, after taking off my sandals and hoisting up my skirt in order to walk barefoot through the ocean that had taken up residence in the parking lot, to my car. Took Ashley to her next meeting and drove back to the hotel.

My key wouldn't work so I went to the front desk and asked if they could check it or reprogram it or something like that...(where is Lex?! I'm tired of doing all this without Lex!)

She smiled her sweet smile and said "oh, we're sorry ma'am. What room are you in?" I told her and she replied, "sometimes these get de-magnetized when we have "a little weather" like this."

A little weather?! Is that what we're calling this?

I'm sticking my head out right now looking for two things. My boys (they should be arriving any time now), and a rainbow. I need to see that rainbow!

Blessings!

Extra Carrots?

So, I'm at Subway eating my sandwich by myself reading a new book. Ashley is running all over town trying to round up donations for "welcome week" and this is the first meal I'm alone in Abilene. (that could be a great country song!)


I was enjoying my new book...almost as much as my Subway Melt (turkey, ham, and bacon).


My Melt had extra cheese, as well as tomatoes, pickles, wax peppers, and mayo. Salt and pepper was added at the end and I forgot to mention it was on some new kind of cheese bread. I was reading and eating...really enjoying the solitude when a voice started ordering her sandwich in kind of a pushy way so my ears perked up but my eyes stayed on the book.


Turkey on whole wheat, no cheese, (what!?), bell pepper, carrots, and cucumber..."lots of carrots, please", and when asked about "toppings" (mayo, mustard, oil, vinegar, etc etc) she replied, "oh no, none!" (with a southern drawl) and then when asked about salt and pepper she replied that she would take a pinch of pepper but that "salt will kill you!"


Yikes! I really wanted to keep reading, but couldn't help it. I had to look at this very obviously health conscience person. YUP...I knew it. Wearing some kind of athletic jogging outfit tight on every piece of her body stood this beautiful, kind of pushy, very toned body of a woman that I will NEVER look like. I guess you are what you eat.


Please pass the carrots...(and can I get extra dip with that?)


Blessings.

Cajun Cones

I love ice. When I get a drink at a fast food place, I fill the cup overflowing with ice and add the drink, whatever will fit, on that.

I have a shaved ice machine from Target in my kitchen.

So, when Ashley asked me if I wanted a Cajun Cone yesterday, I was quick to respond an emphatic YES!

MMMmmmmmmmmm......yummy.

If you've been to Abilene, you have probably had, or at least heard about Cajun Cones. They are a seasonal kiosk open from 2:00 - 10:00 pm. serving the most yummy snow cone like substance you've ever had!

mmmmm......wild cherry.......yum

Abilene

Yesterday was one of those days that felt like two or three rolled together.

Our time of worship together was wonderful. The message, the singing together, fellowship through communion, and other "God moments" that can only happen because He is present and working through us in spite of our short comings...

We ran a half hour long, which is inconvenient for the teachers trying to present a class in the next hour, but particularly worrisome for those of us trying to catch a plane headed to Texas right after services!

The boys raced Ashley and I to the airport where we actually had time after check in to grab a bite before the plane boarded.

3 hour flight to Dallas...then grab a rental car and another 3 hour journey to Abilene.

We arrived at the hotel in Abilene at 11:00 pm, which, according to Mike Cope is the best time to see Abilene. (in the dark)

As I stretched my tired bones out on the box they had made up to be a bed, I thought about what a beautiful morning it had been...and wondered how we fit it all into one day!

Then I remembered last year this time, how sad I was, how desperate I felt to hang on to my children (knowing it wasn't possible), and how much I prayed for God to protect and take care of my first baby leaving the nest.

Last night, I prayed the same prayer, but with a different feeling. Praise God for His goodness, his mercy, his patience. I'm so grateful He has brought me to this point of confidence in His care and guidance.

Ashley is here to begin work on the "Welcome Week Committee", welcoming new freshmen to the school next week. (particularly her little brother) Lex and Avery will be driving on Thursday and Friday to arrive in time to move Avery into his dorm.

Oh, there will be tears, there is no doubt. But, with life comes wisdom and understanding. Knowing that God is there and will continue to protect those you love even when they are not close at hand.

Blessings...

Oceano Dunes

It is difficult to tell you all that happened this weekend...

First, we were pushing it to make it in time to connect with the folks renting us the trailer.

Then, after getting there, we had to be pulled into the soft sand by not one, but two trucks. Our truck is 2 wheel drive and with the flat bed attached it could make it on the hard pack, but the soft sand was another story.

So, we get back there and the only truck that could get in and out was Avery's. Who, by the way, never got stuck once! I learned trailer living and actually enjoyed having no place to go and no way to get there even if I had wanted to. I finished my book (East of Eden...Steinbeck...great book!) and enjoyed some close quality time with my daughter.

The boys spent hour upon hour far back in the Dunes. Avery connected with some very nice guys he has met through an on line 4x4 club. These guys were sent from heaven, because when it came time to leave, they had to pull us and our trailer out of the soft sand.

I learned so much about camping. I learned you have to "air down" your tires on the soft sand and then air back up when you get on pavement or your tires will "fold".

I learned how to conserve water. I learned to actually enjoy the sounds of quads, sand rails, trucks, ATV's of all kind. I learned not to jump out of my skin every time a "not-so-legal" firework explodes while I'm enjoying my campfire...oh, I learned to build a killer camp fire and make s'mores. I learned that a hot dog tastes best, I mean wonderfully delicious, after being roasted over a campfire that you've built.

I learned to have an enormous respect for my son and all he is capable of...not because of his father and I, but just because he's taught himself much.

I learned that my daughter is a beautiful and sweet sister who is willing to be a little uncomfortable as long as her brother is having a blast.

I learned again, how precious my family is to me. There's nobody in the world I'd rather be with than those three people.

It was a wonderful weekend.

What a blessing to have new adventures and experiences to share with people you love!

Soaking it Up!

I'm still here...
It's been quite a while since I blogged, but remember, Randy Wray says there's no guilt in blogland.

I've been soaking up every minute with my fun kids. I love having my sweet daughter home and I'm trying to look at Avery as someone who is ready to leave the nest. I'm not convinced, but he'll be fine. He's an amazing, caring, capable young man. I'm just really going to miss both of them.

Remember those games you've played where you use the little sand timers? Don't you remember that when it gets close to the end, the sand seems to run at the speed of light? That's what it feels like. We're coming to the end of the summer, and the sand is running out on my time with them!

We are going camping this weekend on the dunes. I'm going to pause here for those of you who know me well, so you can read that sentence one more time... Yes, I'm going camping.

Some say it's not camping until you're in a tent with no electricity...I say it's camping if I'm in a trailer on the sand with no outlets. So, I'll see if there are any pictures I'm willing to let you see next week when we get back...but, I'm looking forward to a new adventure with my gang. The Ocean, Sand, Avery driving his truck on the dunes, a good book, and S'Mores. What isn't fun about that?

Bless You...

Here it Comes!

We are taking care of some friend's cats/home while they are away for a few weeks. They have two temperamental cats (is there any other kind of cat?) and a beautiful home and a pool...

So, Sunday night, the four of us went over to feed the kitties and then enjoy the swimming pool together. It was relaxing and fun and peaceful.

BUT...while we were all lounging in the pool, it hit me how soon these days would be gone. My mind went racing to the moment I have to say good bye and walk away and come back home without either of my children. I've done well, so far. Last year this time, I had cried a million times already...but, I thought this year, I was all grown up and ready...NOPE!

Lex looked at me and said, "babe?...uh-oh...Mom's losin' it!"

I cried and cried. I totally lost it. Crying and crying and finding myself in the depths of sadness.

My family started laughing. My crying was so dramatic, it even made me laugh. So, we laughed and I cried and we laughed more. It was crazy and good all at the same time.

Avery asked me why I was crying and I couldn't even form a sentence, which made them laugh more. So, we spent minutes laughing and crying...together. (me crying...them laughing)

July 1 is when the tears started...better than last year! I had been crying since the Thanksgiving prior to taking her to school. Maybe if I'd had a few more kids...by the time I got to the 4th or 5th one, I would only cry the moment I walked away...or maybe not at all! Nah....who am I trying to fool!?

Blessings!

Thanks, God!

O.K. It's a fuzzy pic, but our local Fresno State Bulldogs are loved by many in this town.

Now, for the point...

Do you have moments when you just close your eyes and smile and say, "thanks, God". Maybe it's something small, unimportant to those around you, but to you it's a recognizable blessing.



As most of you know, my two children will be leaving in about 8 weeks to attend Abilene Christian University in Texas.


Ashley loved her first year, and is even more excited this year as she is bringing a great big "show and tell"...her brother.

They are close and loving and very good to each other...of which I am so grateful.

I don't have any idea how I may handle that day...the day I drive away and leave my two babies 1411 miles away from me...


Recently, 4 big, hungry, sweet boys moved into a house right on the corner. They are 3 Fresno State football players and 1 roper. We have met, I have made them cookies, and we are now good friends.

I love that just at the point my focus of nurturing is leaving, another group is dropped right in my lap...or neighborhood in this case.


So, they've had cookies, chicken strips, mashed potatoes, cheesy bread, pork chops, rice, and ice cream sandwiches sent to them in various order. They love the attention ... I love the opportunity.


However, if coach shows up at my door and tells me I need to stick with their strict diet (which I've heard they have), I'll have to abide. I don't want to hurt the team!


Thanks, God!

Blessings...

Mercy, Grace and the Beauty of God's Hand

I'm sure you've all experienced the vision of looking back at a situation and realizing how beautiful God was to you and how He carried you through...even when things looked hopeless.

I've had a couple (nothing too traumatic, thankfully) of times like that.

It always amazes me to remember what I was feeling, how I felt hopeless, the light at the end of the tunnel was nowhere in sight. And then, to see where God has led you, is the sweetness of it all.

It's Saturday, June 23, and I'm sitting in my office listening to Christmas music. If we are to present a musical in December, we begin rehearsals in late Sept/early Oct. Which means by July/August, I need to have chosen, ordered and learned all the parts myself. It is important that I know this thing front to back, having bathed it in lots of prayer, and hours of listening.

Back to the first part of my blog.

Last year, this time, I was very sick. Constantly in the Dr office. Never enough energy to complete a whole day. Rested all day Saturday just to be able to handle my Sunday morning tasks. Sad, discouraged, feeling hopeless.

A shot every day, blood tests every three days, pills, more pills, different pills, new tests...no answers.

I still don't know exactly what is/was wrong with me for those months... But I do know this. God was there. Every step.

When I sat in the Dr's office, He was beside me. When I left one "specialist" with no new answers and sat in my truck and cried, He was there. When I had to have a chair beside me at all times because I couldn't stand for more than a couple of minutes, I could feel His hand. When I saw no hope, no help, no answers, I saw Him. "Trust me," I kept hearing. And all I could do was lay down and cry and say..."O.K. I trust You..."

So, today, when I've put in long hours and I'm still going strong...sitting in my office listening to a magnificent musical that I can't wait to present, I realize what a contrast it is to last year this time.

My post today is to say that whatever is going on, Praise God. If there is tragedy, He's there. If there is joy, He is there. If there's confusion, or discouragement, or personal relationship difficulties, the Lord is in our midst. He is here among us...and He will carry us through it all. Praise God.

Graduation 2007

O.k...there were a few tears, but for the most part, smiles. Lots and lots of smiles. Congratulations Avery! You are an amazing young man and I feel so blessed to be your Mom. Happy Day!!

Matthew 6:33

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (King James Version)
"The thing you should want most is God's kingdom and doing what God wants. Then all these other things you need will be given to you." (New Century Version)
"And he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." (New Living Translation)

I love the last translation of that particular verse. It's one of my favorites and rolls around in my head constantly...

I've made sack lunches for my children for approximately 12 years. Every once in a while, they wanted "hot lunch" but usually a day of that and they were ready for the sack lunch the next day. During their later elementary years, I decided to put a note in their lunch to encourage them in whatever that day held. It was a wonderful thing for me, and hopefully they have enjoyed it. Their Dad would write the note sometimes and was far more creative than I. He would draw them pictures or give them puzzles to solve. I just wrote things like "Stay focused on your spelling test, remember I love you, and you're precious to me." No pics, just a heart with the word "Mom" beside it.

Today the Seniors checked out of school...so, yesterday was the official end to my lunch making career. (Although Avery reminded me he's working this summer and wouldn't mind a lunch now and then.) But yesterday morning, I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say in that final school brown bag lunch. What's the one thing I want my children to know and hold on to. So much ran through my head until finally, I decided on the Matthew 6:33 verse. If, throughout this life, our children learn to put the Kingdom of God first, knowing in faith that what they need will be provided because of our Father's mercy and grace, isn't that a great thing?

So, I wrote that verse, along with the usual "I'm very proud of the man you are becoming and I love you with all my heart..." signed the card with my little heart and "Mom", and slipped it in the lunch on top of the peanut butter sandwich, some applesauce, and a bottle of water. I closed up the lunch and prayed that my boy would always seek the Kingdom of God first, above all else. Cried just a little, and went to my room to get ready for work.

Blessings...

Graduation Week

It's difficult to believe but Graduation Week is here!



I remember the little boy I took to Kindergarten. I can see him in my mind just like it was yesterday. I remember the award he received graduating from Elementary School because he was kind and good to everyone.



I can see the people at Computech Middle School telling us parents that they would love and protect and teach our children to their very best ability. I can see a particular teacher giving me comfort when I was nervous about letting him be in a magnet school on the "bad" side of town...



I remember the first time he talked to me about his Rocket Projects. It was then I learned to smile and nod and say things like, "wow, you're really smart", or "wow, you're doing amazing things" or "wow, I'm so proud of you"...because I truly didn't understand a word he was saying.



I remember the first day he drove his truck to school after getting his license. I texted him on his phone to make sure he had arrived safely and was worried all day until I heard his truck drive in.



And now, it's time to graduate from this and move on to something even bigger. It really does seem like yesterday. Such bitter sweet thoughts. One the one hand, my heart breaks to think about him leaving and going to ACU. To not have him home with me is such a sad thing. And yet, my heart is full of joy and pride as I watch the man he is becoming.



I know life gets busy. I know you get irritated with little things. I know children can be trying. But, in the blink of an eye, things change. So, enjoy each moment. Don't sweat the small stuff. Build each other up every chance you get.



I imagine I'll have a tear or two as I watch my boy cross the stage to receive his diploma. But I would guess I still have many days ahead to say things like, "wow, you're really smart" or "wow, you're doing amazing things" or "wow, I'm so proud of you".



Blessings

Sweet Hour of Prayer

Many of you know Stephen Bailey and have already heard the sad news that he lost his nephew, Connor, in an automobile accident last night...(Monday)

His niece, Bailey, was airlifted to a hospital where she survived surgery that helped repair many broken and shattered bones. Bailey was/is headed to ACU in the fall...had just graduated from High School.

As I read the email from my friend telling me of this tragedy, my heart felt empty. My stomach began to turn. My head felt light. Physically, I was becoming sick at this news that I knew was so devastating to my friend, Stephen and his family.

My son was outside washing his truck. Lex was there chatting with him. My daughter was on the phone with one of her very best friends laughing that deep, sweet laugh that only comes from genuine acceptance and unconditional love of a long time friend.

I went to her bedroom and said, "hang up...call them back...we need to pray." I went to the front screen door and told the boys, "come in here...we need to pray..."

As I shared with them quickly what had happened, they came running to be part of a tiny circle of prayer for this family. We stood in our entry way, hands clasped together, forming what I think is the most powerful tool we have as Christians. Prayer...

What is important at the moment becomes ridiculous in light of such tragedy. When you know the deep wounds of a brother and sister, your helplessness becomes strength through prayer.

I ask you all to pray for this family. For Stephen and his family (the Bailey's) and for his sister and brother-in-law (Tod and LeeAnn Brown) at the loss of one child and the recovery of another.

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

Mother's Day

This post is overdue, however, one of the most fun things we did on our Texas adventure was take in a Rangers/Angels game on Mother's Day.

I had found a couple of things for us to do on that day that I thought my Mom would enjoy. The Fort Worth Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth with a 200 per choir and various soloists. The Dallas Symphony had a Tschaikovsky day which would have been beautiful also. But, when my mom found out that the Angels were playing the Rangers, there was no questions which event she wanted to take in for Mother's Day.

We had a blast. Wonderful seats. Very intimate park...almost any seat would be good, but ours were very good. We had a Hot, Humid, Sweat dripping very good time. It was hot to begin with, but then, as often happened while we were in Texas, clouds blew in and thunder rolled and the rain came quickly...and then it was gone and all that was left was the humidity.

I sat between my mom and my daughter. Mom cheered for the Angels, Ash cheered for the Rangers, and I cheered for both.

Forget the flowers and tea and "foo-foo" for my mom...just bring on a little healthy competition out in the heat and she's happy.

Blessings!

Home Sweet Home

So good to be home.

We had a wonderful time, but there's nothing like being home again.

Ashley said she was sore from sleeping so hard in her bed...I felt the same way this morning. There's nothing like the "familiar" to make you sleep good.

My favorite part was getting up early and looking in each of the bedrooms and seeing the little lumps in the bed. In both rooms...

I will enjoy this for a couple of months, and then I will be sad. But for today, I feel blessed to have both my sweet children home for a short while...

Blessings.

Dorm Life

I've been in Abilene for a few days now...since Tuesday. And yes, I'm still dizzy because my glasses are not right. I was told it takes a while to get used to glasses which I knew, because I've worn them before. But, these are just plain wrong. I don't know where the "wrongness" occurred (sorry Wendy), but they are wrong.

Vision problems aside, I have had a wonderful time. I've been living in an empty dorm room across the hall from my baby girl. My mom came with me, so Ash has both Mom and Grandma to take care of! Bless!

ACU is one of the most amazing places I've visited. The first morning, Ashley took us all around the campus. If you ever have the chance to come visit, do. This place has God all over it. Every corner, every prayer room, every piece of art, every peace garden, every classroom.

And, with some new grant money, it's even green with flowering plants and many new trees planted! It really is beautiful, which I don't remember it being last summer when I dropped Ashley off.

There are so many stories, so many students, so many hearts searching for God. I'm proud of my daughter...and, as I'm preparing to lose my son to ACU in a couple of months, there is a peace knowing what kind of place this is.

It's after midnight. I just polished off a Hershey bar with almonds as I sit in her room and blog while she studies for her 8 am final. Grandma finally gave up and went to bed about 11:45...she's a pretty cool grandma!

I've prayed for so many things for my children...health, safety, Godly mates, happy hearts. But my constant prayer has been that they seek and hear the voice of God in their lives. That they desire a deep relationship with their Creator, and that they live a life of service within the Kingdom.

I'm a good mama...Lex is a wonderful father. But there comes a time when even the best parents must pass that baton on to someone else to continue developing their children's hearts. I'm happy to pass that baton to this place...however, I'll never stop praying.

Blessings.

One Eyed and Dizzy

I had an irritation in my eye on Wednesday morning. Not sure what it was, but we think it may have come from the church building when they were cleaning the ducts from the fire...

So, by Wednesday morning, I needed to take my contact out of that one eye because I looked deformed. Bright red blood shot eyeball. ICK! I looked like Steven's cat...if any of you have had the pleasure of meeting Tabby, you'll know what I mean.

I had some old (but not expired) drops I had purchased for a previous eye problem and thought I could knock out the irritation with a little self-prescribed medicine.

By Friday morning, it wasn't any better, so I called the eye Dr. and got in to see him. I have an ulcer on my eye, caused from some debris.

Can only wear my left contact, which makes me totally dizzy and off balance. But, the alternative is to be blind and that's not a good option when driving. I don't have glasses because...well, I just don't, O.K.?

So, I'm leaving Tuesday morning. Flying to Dallas and driving to Abilene to get my girl. YIPPEE!! I'm so excited. BUT, I can't see.

It's one thing to drive in a town you know well without seeing out of one eye...but another town? Another state? Nope...no-can-do!

This morning I went to the eyeglass place that a friend from church works at. They are rushing a pair of glasses for me and to top it off, he's delivering them Monday night at the church because I'll be in a meeting. Friends are amazing.

But for now, until Monday night, I'll be One Eyed and Dizzy.

I always think people with glasses look smarter. I'm looking forward to that!

Blessings.

I bought a DVD that is supposed to have some exercise "routines" I might be able to handle.

You see, I can't just go pick up any exercise routine, or take off running miles and miles. In fact, a dear friend has offered to walk with me, but her walk would be useless because I'll be very slow and very short. She'll have to exercise after we exercise just to get her work out in!

I found this DVD that has gospel music on it and I was thinking it might encourage me to hear the music as I do what I despise! I've known for two months that not only do I need to lose weight by eating healthier, but the exercise factor is a huge deal here. I would love to ignore it...in fact I have!

I bought this DVD days ago. (maybe a week or so ago) And finally, last night, I decided to put it in the player and see what it's all about. There was a very amateur production of a couple of 10 minute line dances, a 20 minute walking/step routine, and a 30 minute cardio workout. I loved it, it was entertaining. A little goofy, and quite low budget. But, the key here is that I could actually do what they were asking me to do.

At least I think I can. Last night, I just sat on the couch and watched it.

Maybe tonight I'll get up and join them!

Blessings!

Distractions...

Monday night, well, Tuesday morning if we're gonna get technical, there was a fire in our church building.

Some "angry-not-enough-to-do" person decided to set a trash can up against the back of the church and set it on fire. According to the fire investigator and police and a hundred other "specialists" who have been on campus for two days straight, they had to use some kind of accelerant to make it get as hot as it did and climb the stucco wall, thus burning through to the inside of the building.

The actual "fire" damage was limited to one wall, albeit a strong beam load bearing wall...(YIKES). But the other damage is still being uncovered.

Fortunately, we have a good alarm system which includes sprinklers that go on at the first sign of fire, so the water damage is another story. One whole wing is incapacitated because of smoke and water damage.

However, we're working through it. At least we're trying.

I am currently sitting at my desk, which at least now has power...until late yesterday, we had no electricity. There are a gazillion fans and dehumidifiers running all down the hall, into every office and school room. It is a maze to get from point "A" to point "B". The noise is deafening. I rarely get headaches. I woke up in the night with a doosie! And sitting here now, it's only getting worse. So, with the smoke smell, the darkness in the hallways, (that circuit hasn't been restored, yet.), the absolute ridiculous noise from the fans, not to mention the "mess" the whole wing is in because of ripped up baseboards and moved furniture, it's a little hard to concentrate.

And yet, we still need a worship order for Sunday. Hmmm...

This isn't about me. Not by any stretch. This is about the amazing crews of people who have jumped to come help. Not only church members, but city workers, and others. This is about those who will have to spend countless hours working on this project...because this is a long haul kind of project. This is about how to continue to lead a church in the midst of mess. And, this is about how to reconcile some body's anger and disregard in our own heads and actually pray for the person who created this distraction.

But, most of all, this is about how we can't let the distraction distract us. Period.

Pray for our church. Pray for our front ladies having to deal with city inspectors, contractors, adjusters. And pray that this is just another moment when we see God's goodness come shining through.

Blessings!

Some of you out there know my sister-in-law is a "Creative Memories" rep and is quite passionate and successful at her business. She's been trying to encourage me to just start with the picture thing. I take millions of pics. I have millions of pics in boxes in the closets. But the task of putting them in albums has, up to this point, been overwhelming. There's just too much! I truly expect that next year, after my Avery leaves for ACU, I'll need something to distract me from my empty nest. What better than pictures of your babies who are no longer babies? I'll start next year...maybe...

There's a point to the above paragraph. Have you, in blogland, ever had SO MUCH that you couldn't even blog about it because it was just too much? Like the boxes of pictures, it's just overwhelming! Life has been whirling and spinning and progressing at such a fast pace I can't even keep up!

So, for now, I just wanted to check in and say...life is good. Life is blessed. Life is very hard. Life is swelling with fullness beyond description.

More later when it can all be sorted.
Blessings!

There is something about the word "accepted" that makes us happy...comfortable...at rest.

We all want to feel like we're accepted. Accepted in normal society, accepted with our friends, even our family. There is a wonderful feeling that you have when you have friends and family that love you unconditionally and accept you in all circumstances.

My son received his "acceptance letter" from ACU last week. It was packaged beautifully, as if you might want to keep it and treasure it forever. To have your name on the top of the letter..."Dear Avery"...and to continue reading that it is their pleasure to inform you that you've been "accepted" to Abilene Christian University is quite a good feeling.

It just seems like yesterday I was feeling all these feelings because my sweet daughter was receiving the same letter and preparing to graduate and go to Texas. I wondered if I would feel the same sadness...surely, I'd be used to it. More practiced. An old pro at this "child leaving home" thing. Nope.

Avery is one of the sweetest, kindest, smartest young men I know. Not because of anything I've done...but because he's been showered with God's goodness and mercy through a huge community of people who love him unconditionally, and accept him all the time.

So, congratulations Avery. I had no doubts they would want you.

And really, Congratulations Abilene Christian University! You're getting a magnificent young man!

Blessings.

My children thought it would be nice to give their Daddy a puppy for Christmas! He's been wanting another dog for quite some time now, and I was the one who kept saying "please, no." We have a dog. A very sweet old dog. A dog that I have loved very much in spite of my "no dog" rule.

So, to bring in another puppy, to me, just didn't make sense. Puppies are like babies. They cry and poop and pee and need to be fed and cared for 24/7. I knew I had lost the battle when at Christmas time, a friend of my daughter's dog had puppies. Black lab/German Shepherd puppies. I finally gave in when the kids said, "Dad doesn't ask for much, ever, so we think we should listen when he asks..." So the kids took off to go choose the puppy for their Dad.

It seems that life has been hectic and crazy since Christmas and I've not introduced you to Lex's new love. This is Jake... He is hysterical and yes, he's a mess. He is a very good dog, though, and although I was against it, watching a grown man cry when his children handed him their gift to him changed my mind.

I guess I'm just destined to always have a dog around. It's one of those marriage compromises we make because it makes the other person very happy.

It's worth it.

Happy Birthday James

I tried to blog on James' birthday, but blogger wouldn't allow. Seems to be less touchy today...

James is funny...very funny. I find myself amused by him often, just like I am amused by his Daddy often. At least James hasn't figured out, yet, how to get me in trouble in church by making me laugh. Give him time, though, because he definitely has his Daddy's genes in the silly category.

James is sweet and kind. He's turning from the natural selfish instincts we all have, to a boy with a heart of empathy and concern.

James is learning to be a Christ follower.

James doesn't quite get yet how blessed he is. Maybe we all don't quite get it. But James has a very large community of people who will pray with him, play with him, love him unconditionally, and teach him constantly.

He is blessed, and he in turn is a blessing to us.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET JAMES!

Spring Break

Ashley flew in today at noon to begin her 10 days of Spring Break.

It's so good to see her and hear about the ways she is growing and experiencing life.

Some things hurt deeply, like letting your child go 1411 miles away to College, however, there couldn't have been a better place for her to grow and develop as a Godly woman.

So, I'll continue giving things up to God, because He seems to know what he's doing!

For all those on Spring Break this week...Enjoy!! And stay safe...

Blessings.

Joe Beam

Did any of you see Joe Beam on the Today show yesterday?

I was getting ready for work and had it on. I listen but don't usually stop to watch unless something strikes my fancy.

Yesterday, they continued to "tease" this segment with sentences like:

"An evangelical preacher talking about something very uncomfortable..."
or
"Wait till you see what this evangelical preacher is talking to his folks about..."

I didn't pay much attention, but when they actually ran the story, they said his name which made me stop and watch. They ran a tape of him speaking to his audiences about sex and the pleasures and joy and blessing of it. They then did a live interview with him.

His message was good. They even had someone on with him to "counteract" what he was saying, but she couldn't. When it came her turn, she simply said "I think what he's teaching is great!"

So good to see the church in a positive light, isn't it? Maybe if we can talk to the world about things that grab their attention, we can eventually talk to them about their salvation.

Blessings.

Habits

The thing about habits is that they are so...well...habitual.

I mean, if it's a true habit, it's something you do without even thinking, right?

Let me give you a list of things I wish I were in the "habit" of doing...

1. Wake at 5:00 am every morning to go for a brisk-cardio-healthy-oxygen-pumping-hour-long walk.

2. Spend at least 2 hours each day in prayer. 1 hour just meditating and listening, and one hour conversing with no distraction/interruption with my Heavenly Father.

3. Eat only when I am hungry...and here's the best one, stop eating when I'm full.

4. Actually send the card or make the visit when I know someone could use it.

...and the list could go on and on of things I wish I were better at...

But, here are the things that I am in the habit of:

1. Telling my children how much I love them and how proud of them I am...every day.

2. Talking to God all the time, even if I don't carve out the specific private time.

3. Getting those cards/visits done about 75% of the time.

4. Cooking to my hearts delight beginning with baked goods and dinners that almost always start with a cube of butter.

5. Eating when I'm anxious, but not necessarily hungry.

6. Eating when I'm happy, but not necessarily hungry.

7. Eating when I'm sad, but not necessarily hungry.

These are all things I do without thinking. These ARE my habits. And although some of them are wonderful, some are dangerous.

My husband and I both received word from our Dr's this weekend/week. Mine on Friday, and truthfully, I forgot about it in the worry of my husbands episodes. But today, it's all coming back to me.

We have changes to make. Not easy changes...not changes that will happen over night. We have life changes to make.

It is as if we are alcoholic, or addicted to drugs, or any other physical/mental problem that people deal with. It will be no easier for us than for those kicking their bad habits.

So, I ask you all for one thing. Pray for us. Don't nag...don't give advice...we have plenty of people doing that and there will come a moment when I will probably have to ask those good intentioned souls to stop. Just pray.

Our changes will determine how long we live. So, just pray.

Thank you.
Blessings

It is good to be home with my husband tonight...

They worked hard, medically/drug-wise, to get his blood pressure down just so they could give him the medication that "amps" him up as to running a marathon. He said it was very weird feeling the feelings of running hard and long all the while laying still.

He has bruises from i.v. inputs, bruises from taking his blood pressure every half hour for the past 3 days, and sore muscles from not so comfy hospital beds. But, he's home and I couldn't be happier.

The stress test proved no damage to his heart. Valves are open and flowing properly. No blockages. The only problem seems to be a calloused heart. (silly wording...they obviously don't know lex) The walls of his heart are tough and thick from too much time ignoring the high blood pressure and not taking his medication.

He is a changed man. He has many people very frustrated, but grateful. He won't get away with not taking his medicine ever again.

He has a very ugly orange shirt that he happens to love. He came walking out in that ugly orange shirt after his first shower in three days. He's never looked so good to me.

Thank you for those who knew and prayed. We were overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and concern. Community is a beautiful thing...

Valentines Day...the morning after.

What a sweet Valentine night I had. I spent it with my two favorite boys...my husband and my son.

I love occasions that cause you to stop and say how much someone means to you...and Valentines Day is one of those occasions.

I am fully aware I have very little "normal home" time left with my Avery, so last night, Lex and I cooked a wonderful dinner at home. I don't like going out on holidays like this because everything is overpriced, crowded, and short on relaxation!

Lex BBQ'd steaks and we had baked potatoes and green beans and beautiful bread. We sipped sparkling cider from wedding present champagne glasses, and a home made heart chocolate cake for dessert! The table had a fresh red table cloth and I wore my new (from Christmas) red apron.

We gave Avery what any truck owning 17 year old boy would want...gas gift cards! And my sweet husband came walking in with a beautiful "kitchen-y" basket from William Sonoma with fresh dish towels, kitchen tools, a Paula Deen DVD Set (I love that woman), and pixie sticks. Yes, you read that correctly. I adore pixie sticks.

The presents were fun. The dinner was fabulous. But the best part was the conversation. The laughter. The silliness. The "just-being-together".

I'm not waiting until a holiday to do it again. Every time you get to be together with your family should be viewed as a special occasion.

Blessings...

One of my favorite things to do these days, is lay on my sons bed, which is bumped right up against his desk/computer, of which he spends countless hours. So, sometimes, if I want a conversation with him, I must go to him.

The bed is a great place because I'm not standing over him, I'm relaxed, which seems to relax him, and I can't see the computer screen...so he knows I'm just there for him and not to "check up" on him. (Not that I'm beyond that, but it's just not usually necessary.)

He was IM-ing with his sister last night. I love watching him giggle quietly as their comments to each other flew...and I mean FLEW back and forth. They are both very witty people, so when they get together, it can be amusing.

I just sat back, enjoyed the sounds of his room, (computer, fish tank, music, etc.). I was looking around in between conversation with him and his sister, and then my eyes landed on the top of the inside of his closet. Hot Wheel Tracks and cars, Robots, Legos, and on the floor, Dump Trucks, Children's Books, and so on. My son takes very good care of his "stuff" and has saved some things for his son.

My eyes filled, my throat closed up...my heart pounded. Where did the time go? I looked at him, and then back to the closet and back to him. His sweet face, and beautiful spirit...funny heart and sometimes difficult personality, his sideburns and muscles...

I don't think I'm alone in missing the grown up stuff at times. I think, as parents, we tend to see our kids as just kids. Maybe not babies, but definitely not grown up people.

My son is a grown up person. Complete with a mind of his own and a heart determined to be on it's own path. He's an amazing, caring, hard working young man.

I miss the Legos, the feet of track and cars I would trip over. I miss the sweet boy who couldn't sit close enough to you. I miss the gentle "do whatever you say" spirit. But, those days were just a preparation for what he is now...and what he is becoming.

Look out world. There is one awesome young man about to enter your gates!

Contagious Passion...

I have been talking recently with someone who is very dear to me...my daughter.

We talk often, but the conversations contained in the past two days have not been the typical mother-daughter stuff as usual. Oh, those words are still there...but there's more.

She is being awakened to a hurting world, a lost world, a world she is beginning to feel a responsibility to. ACU does a beautiful job of informing and presenting many different ways you can be involved in the "betterment" of this planet. She has grabbed on with gusto.

Her passion is contagious. Her heart is full of ideas. Her mind is reeling with possibilities.

Do you remember that feeling? Before you "got the sense knocked into you?" Before you let reality set in? Before you decided you could only do so much?

I am so grateful for her passion. I think it's time the church wakes up to this generation of intelligent, passionate, amazing people. We could learn, or re-learn, much from them.

Do we really want to be missional? Do we? Really?

It's not pretty...but, goodness, it's beautiful!

I am one tired puppy.
It wasn't the endless Christmas rehearsals, nor was it the long hours planning and enjoying the ZOE Conference. It wasn't the Super Bowl Party and it isn't the daily tasks of life. I'm just tired. I've been going to the Dr since August trying to figure this whole thing out. So far, we are continuing to treat the effects of the imbalances (no jokes please), but haven't discovered the REASON for the imbalance.

Randy once told me there is no guilt in blogland, and I don't have to apologize for not writing on a regular basis. I'm trying to believe that!

I have had so many "God moments" I've wanted to share for the past couple of months, but really just haven't had the energy.

So, my friends, I will ask you again to pray for my health. I know there are those in much worse situations than I, and I feel silly even bringing it up. But, it's a constant cloud over my every day comings and goings.

God has been so evident in my life. He is so very good to me. He is constant and faithful. I want to be teachable. I don't ever want to think " I've arrived " at some kind of spiritual maturity. But Satan can seep into you through discouragement and this has been a long enough battle for me to become discouraging.

Thank you in advance for your presence in my life and the prayers you will say on my behalf.